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Subject: Is it worth pursuing relationships?
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So a friend and I got into an interesting discussion the other day. He asked me why I never made any effort to pursue a relationship, despite the fact that I've had several opportunities. It's mostly because I'm highly anti-social, and most of the things I do aren't particularly social in nature anyway (I play competitive chess, for example). He argued that spending all your time alone without ever even pursuing a relationship is a waste, and I'll regret it later.

So I'm curious what you guys think: Is a good relationship actually worth the time and effort, or is it better to stick to things you are comfortable with and good at? Particularly given the fact that I'm just not good at relating to people; it's easier for me to avoid them.

Just for the record, I'm not asking for advice here. I'm just trying to get some discussion going and I'm providing a personal anecdote. At least it's not another Halo 4 thread, right?

  • 12.13.2012 4:38 PM PDT

if you don't want to be in a relationship, then it's not going to work. simple.

  • 12.13.2012 4:40 PM PDT

"What are we holding on to, Sam?"
"That there's some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for."

Interesting question. I'm a lot like you in the fact that I'm also extremely anti-social. I also play competitive chess! To me, I would only pursue a relationship if I really cared about someone. It's not worth it to me to "just have the experience". I guess it really depends on your situation and personality.

  • 12.13.2012 4:41 PM PDT


Posted by: SorrowSlaying
At least it's not another Halo 4 thread, right?

True dat.

  • 12.13.2012 4:41 PM PDT

Who's got AIDS?

It's all about the journey; not the destination. Pursuing relationships gives me a purpose.

  • 12.13.2012 4:41 PM PDT
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Posted by: Tanner113
It's all about the journey; not the destination. Pursuing relationships gives me a purpose.


This is what my friend said, too. He couldn't understand what I was doing with my life if I wasn't in a relationship, or didn't have a strong social life. I dunno, I just don't care enough about being social. Cold, maybe. I can't really help it, though.

  • 12.13.2012 4:43 PM PDT

Congratulations. You're literate!

Sticking to things you're comfortable with and good at seems nice now, but remember that what you want is going to change over time. In the future you'll probably regret not going outside of your comfort zone, especially when you have difficulty with it in various situations due to lack of experience.

  • 12.13.2012 4:44 PM PDT

._...|..____________________ , ,
....../ `---___________----_____|]
...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ---- Bloodshed of the Orphans
...//___//
..//___//


Posted by: Fizz Knuckin
if you don't want to be in a relationship, then it's not going to work. simple.

This

The day I get a girl will be the day I lose my frown lines. If you don't want one, you shouldn't pursue anything.

  • 12.13.2012 4:46 PM PDT

in·dif·fer·ence
the fact or state of being indifferent; lack of care or concern and empathy demonstrated by an absence of emotional reactions.

I gave up a while back.
But that's just me. I don't really have an interest in relationships.

[Edited on 12.13.2012 4:46 PM PST]

  • 12.13.2012 4:46 PM PDT

"What are we holding on to, Sam?"
"That there's some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for."


Posted by: Rampant Tragedy
Sticking to things you're comfortable with and good at seems nice now, but remember that what you want is going to change over time. In the future you'll probably regret not going outside of your comfort zone, especially when you have difficulty with it in various situations due to lack of experience.


I sometimes worry that this will happen to me. I honestly spend almost all my time alone; I really don't do well relating to people either. But if at some point in the future that all changes, I'm really screwed. I don't see what to do; I can either hang out with people now and not enjoy it, or I can enjoy myself now and potentially set myself up for a worse situation later. Tough call.

  • 12.13.2012 4:46 PM PDT

Who's got AIDS?


Posted by: SorrowSlaying

Posted by: Tanner113
It's all about the journey; not the destination. Pursuing relationships gives me a purpose.


This is what my friend said, too. He couldn't understand what I was doing with my life if I wasn't in a relationship, or didn't have a strong social life. I dunno, I just don't care enough about being social. Cold, maybe. I can't really help it, though.

Whatever makes you happy. I tend to get really depressed when I don't socialize. It's just who I am.

  • 12.13.2012 4:46 PM PDT
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Bringing in Fikst. Bringing back lmao.
Inheritor # 475 world,

#6 In the Country.

Halocharts.com

They are good.

  • 12.13.2012 4:46 PM PDT

Dear tomorrow, Find some sensibility, Respond to emotion.
Dear Politician, Define sagacity,
All chances of survival are beginning to diminish.
Comedy is no excuse for our own blasphemies.
Mass media, Mass pessimism, Mass Denial.
My television tells me to panic, but I don't think I'll listen.
The apathetic force us to persevere, with their backwards priorities.


Posted by: Tanner113
It's all about the journey; not the destination. Pursuing relationships gives me a purpose.


I completely disagree with this.

  • 12.13.2012 4:48 PM PDT

._...|..____________________ , ,
....../ `---___________----_____|]
...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ---- Bloodshed of the Orphans
...//___//
..//___//


Posted by: swvjdirector
Interesting question. I'm a lot like you in the fact that I'm also extremely anti-social. I also play competitive chess! To me, I would only pursue a relationship if I really cared about someone. It's not worth it to me to "just have the experience". I guess it really depends on your situation and personality.


Getting to know someone well before pursuing it is a wise choice, IMO. My outlook is a bit less restricting, but respectable opinion you got there.

  • 12.13.2012 4:48 PM PDT
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Posted by: Tanner113

Posted by: SorrowSlaying

Posted by: Tanner113
It's all about the journey; not the destination. Pursuing relationships gives me a purpose.


This is what my friend said, too. He couldn't understand what I was doing with my life if I wasn't in a relationship, or didn't have a strong social life. I dunno, I just don't care enough about being social. Cold, maybe. I can't really help it, though.

Whatever makes you happy. I tend to get really depressed when I don't socialize. It's just who I am.


It's almost the opposite for me: I feel depressed when I realize how poor I am at relating to people. I'm good at the things I do generally, so I hate the feeling of having no idea what I'm doing.

  • 12.13.2012 4:48 PM PDT

On the Left

Godshatter: I can go all the way with someone without being attracted to them.
CamCamm: How does that work?
Godshatter: I'm easily aroused by anything that moves. It's a curse.
Brain says 'No, that's ugly', body says 'ugly is fine with me'.

No worries op. You'll find you other half sooner or later. unless you purposely choose not to be with them when they come across you. if that is the case then inonowhattothinkhere -.-

  • 12.13.2012 4:48 PM PDT

Posted by: Recon Number 54
Life is a journey, if you spend all of it with your nose in your map, you may miss some of the best parts.


Posted by: Fizz Knuckin
if you don't want to be in a relationship, then it's not going to work. simple.

  • 12.13.2012 4:49 PM PDT

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof.” – Psalms 46:1-3

With the right women, man.

  • 12.13.2012 4:50 PM PDT

"What are we holding on to, Sam?"
"That there's some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for."


Posted by: XxMuNcHmOnKeYxX

Posted by: swvjdirector
Interesting question. I'm a lot like you in the fact that I'm also extremely anti-social. I also play competitive chess! To me, I would only pursue a relationship if I really cared about someone. It's not worth it to me to "just have the experience". I guess it really depends on your situation and personality.


Getting to know someone well before pursuing it is a wise choice, IMO. My outlook is a bit less restricting, but respectable opinion you got there.


I completely agree; the only time I've ever been interested in someone, I more respected them than anything else. I gave up because I really didn't have much in common with them and they're already in a relationship. Getting to know someone helps determine whether or not you actually care about them, or you more care about how you feel around them.

  • 12.13.2012 4:51 PM PDT

Congratulations. You're literate!

Posted by: swvjdirector
Posted by: Rampant Tragedy
Sticking to things you're comfortable with and good at seems nice now, but remember that what you want is going to change over time. In the future you'll probably regret not going outside of your comfort zone, especially when you have difficulty with it in various situations due to lack of experience.

I sometimes worry that this will happen to me. I honestly spend almost all my time alone; I really don't do well relating to people either. But if at some point in the future that all changes, I'm really screwed. I don't see what to do; I can either hang out with people now and not enjoy it, or I can enjoy myself now and potentially set myself up for a worse situation later. Tough call.
Not if; when. You will need to deal with people on a daily basis as an adult, so not practicing now is definitely going to screw you over. Don't think of it as not enjoying hanging out with people now; think about it kind of like an RPG. If you don't build up certain stats early on, your deficiency is not only going to be noticeable later, it's going to be irreversible.

  • 12.13.2012 4:52 PM PDT

Please do not send me group invites.

Having someone to share you life and experiences with is really a great thing to have.

  • 12.13.2012 4:52 PM PDT
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Posted by: Razgriz Berkut
No worries op. You'll find you other half sooner or later. unless you purposely choose not to be with them when they come across you. if that is the case then inonowhattothinkhere -.-


Well, thank you, although I'm not so sure I can agree. I'm REALLY BAD at relating to people. Really, REALLY bad. But we'll see.

  • 12.13.2012 4:53 PM PDT

._...|..____________________ , ,
....../ `---___________----_____|]
...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ---- Bloodshed of the Orphans
...//___//
..//___//


Posted by: swvjdirector

Posted by: XxMuNcHmOnKeYxX

Posted by: swvjdirector
Interesting question. I'm a lot like you in the fact that I'm also extremely anti-social. I also play competitive chess! To me, I would only pursue a relationship if I really cared about someone. It's not worth it to me to "just have the experience". I guess it really depends on your situation and personality.


Getting to know someone well before pursuing it is a wise choice, IMO. My outlook is a bit less restricting, but respectable opinion you got there.


I completely agree; the only time I've ever been interested in someone, I more respected them than anything else. I gave up because I really didn't have much in common with them and they're already in a relationship. Getting to know someone helps determine whether or not you actually care about them, or you more care about how you feel around them.


The only risk is that you might get friend-zoned from an individual you know so well- it's happened to me. It makes it harder in that respect, but I suppose quality over quantity when it comes to relationships.

Not to mention, if you really care about someone, I can almost guarantee the sex will be better, even if I am still a virgin.

[Edited on 12.13.2012 4:55 PM PST]

  • 12.13.2012 4:54 PM PDT

Ill be honest you have to have that one relationship that you put your all into. The one where you love her and she just -blam!-s you over. The one where it breaks your heart so much. Everyone needs that relationship that completely changes them as a person. Just a fact.

  • 12.13.2012 4:54 PM PDT
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If you like to get hurt then yes

  • 12.13.2012 4:54 PM PDT

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