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This topic has moved here: Subject: Funny or interesting threats.
  • Subject: Funny or interesting threats.
Subject: Funny or interesting threats.

"Life is constantly fleeting from your grasp even from the very day it's bestowed upon you, but the shadow of death is always there, waiting for its chance to take you away."

"Even though many may not think so, ignorance and innocence are one and the same. The only difference is that one sounds nicer."

"I once knew a man who spent his entire life contemplating where we go after our death....it's a shame he realized it a second too late to tell anyone."

Don't think this is against the rules, but I could be wrong. Oh well. Anyway, what are some funny threats that you can think of or have heard? I ask because I just thought of one that made me laugh.

"I will shovel laxatives down your throat until you crap yourself to death."

[Edited on 12.14.2012 9:05 PM PST]

  • 12.14.2012 9:04 PM PDT
Subject: Funny threats.
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13.72 billion years in the making.

On December 1st, 2012, I met Neil deGrasse Tyson. I shook the man's hand, and even made him laugh. Not much else to do with my life now.

This is going to end poorly.

Funny, but poorly.

  • 12.14.2012 9:05 PM PDT
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  • Senior Mythic Member

The Flood's resident metalhead.

What the -blam!- did you just -blam!- say about me, you little -blam!-? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the -blam!- out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my -blam!- words. You think you can get away with saying that -blam!- to me over the Internet? Think again, -blam!-. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're -blam!- dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little -blam!-. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your -blam!- tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will -blam!- fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're -blam!- dead, kiddo.

  • 12.14.2012 9:05 PM PDT

"Life is constantly fleeting from your grasp even from the very day it's bestowed upon you, but the shadow of death is always there, waiting for its chance to take you away."

"Even though many may not think so, ignorance and innocence are one and the same. The only difference is that one sounds nicer."

"I once knew a man who spent his entire life contemplating where we go after our death....it's a shame he realized it a second too late to tell anyone."


Posted by: WinyPit82
This is going to end poorly.

Funny, but poorly.
Meh, not much of a topic, but hey, could work out. What are you thinking?

  • 12.14.2012 9:07 PM PDT

Sometimes, I dream about cheese.

"Go boil your bottoms you sons of a silly person, I blow my nose so called Arthur Kind! You silly English Knnnnnunnnnnnigits, I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elleberries!

Now go away or I will taunt you a second time!"

  • 12.14.2012 9:13 PM PDT