- BouncedMr happy
- |
- Fabled Legendary Member
Yes, I AM just that awesome.
Immaturity inbound.
CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-
Item #: SCP-5-J
Object Class: 69-C
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5-J is to be kept in a frozen Nipples-lined containment chamber located in The White House, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 2 Strippers armed with Your Mom.
In the event that SCP-5-J ever begins -blam!- its balls, Your Mom is to fap SCP-5-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Alpha-7 (''Hot Asian Nymphos get big Black -blam!-'') is to be dispatched to SCP-5-J's last known location.
Description: SCP-5-J is a -blam!- platypus. Like most members of its species, it is able to -blam!- building, and regularly eats twice its own weight in frozen Nipples each day.
SCP-5-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with -blam!-, which causes it to turn into office. Whenever this happens, all offices within a 6 kilometer radius will begin to fapfap uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.
In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Kim Jong Un. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-5-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.
Recovery Log: SCP-5-J was first located in Beebe, Arkansas where the The Packars were using it in order to rule all the nipples. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Alpha-7 (''Hot Asian Nymphos get big Black -blam!-'') was able to recover the object with only 690000 civilian casualties.
Addendum: Test Log 5-1
Dr. Hitler: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Hitler, and I am about to test SCP-5's reaction to Building. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Nipples?
Dr. Nipples: Yes sir, ready to begin test.
Dr. Hitler: Excellent! I am now introducing the Building to 5... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.
Dr. Nipples: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.
Hitler: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN -blam!-! IT'S GOT MEIN -blam!-! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!
END LOG
In light of incident 5-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-