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  • Subject: SCP (even number)-J
Subject: SCP (even number)-J

Posted by: puck88
Posted by: Holden Caulfield
"You're a phony"

Garem is a hero, you autistic.

This is the funniest thing i have ever seen. Since this doesn't have share function, copy and paste the whole document and put it in quote form. What kind of humorous article will you make up?




Discuss.

  • 12.15.2012 5:51 AM PDT

@Vinyl_Hb

Fuuuuu-

6:10am?! Its to early for madlibs! Im going to bed.

  • 12.15.2012 6:11 AM PDT
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That was brilliant. Thank you OP.

My SCP was an ostrich who would eat twice its body weight in pizza a day.

[Edited on 12.15.2012 6:42 AM PST]

  • 12.15.2012 6:18 AM PDT

Item #: SCP-7-J

Object Class: Blue

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7-J is to be kept in a Pizza-lined containment chamber located in the white house, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 1.000000000000000000000000000000001 -blam!-s armed with chips.

In the event that SCP-7-J ever begins running its titties, Herpes is to kills SCP-7-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Omega-7 (''Doctor Who'') is to be dispatched to SCP-7-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-7-J is a fun dog. Like most members of its species, it is able to run building, and regularly eats twice its own weight in Pizza each day.

SCP-7-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with death, which causes it to turn into t.v. Whenever this happens, all dick within a 6 kilometer radius will begin to grabs uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to George Washington. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-7-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-7-J was first located in Herpederpederp where the Jets were using it in order to kill everyone. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Omega-7 (''Doctor Who'') was able to recover the object with only Infinity civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 7-1

Dr. Kahn: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Kahn, and I am about to test SCP-7's reaction to plane. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Kuoppala?
Dr. Kuoppala: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Kahn: Excellent! I am now introducing the plane to 7... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Kuoppala: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Kahn: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN -blam!-! IT'S GOT MEIN -blam!-! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 7-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-

  • 12.15.2012 6:26 AM PDT

Rain, and Jazz.
Halo: Tactical

I'm either a fool or an inteligent man, depending on how sleepy or angry I am.

I originaly made an account on 07.27.2007 but I wanted to link my GT and made this account. Don't forget your passwords!

Funny...

  • 12.15.2012 6:31 AM PDT

in·dif·fer·ence
the fact or state of being indifferent; lack of care or concern and empathy demonstrated by an absence of emotional reactions.

Recovery Log: SCP-7-J was first located in Las Santos where the Baltimore Ravens were using it in order to Take over the local cheese factory. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Alpha-7 (''The Crystal Maze'') was able to recover the object with only 3043 civilian casualties.


Sounds about right.

  • 12.15.2012 6:32 AM PDT

Do you know what kind of hat I'm wearing?

A party hat; you don't get one. An honor will this party be, a party in your honor, for your honor. Some of Tfear's personal guards are going to be there. You'll be introduced shortly.

Prepare to die.

I couldn't stop laughing at this part.
Description: SCP-3-J is a smelly cat. Like most members of its species, it is able to ignore potato, and regularly eats twice its own weight in carrot each day.

SCP-3-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with cheetos, which causes it to turn into -blam!-. Whenever this happens, all phones within a 4 kilometer radius will begin to breathe uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Elvis. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-3-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

  • 12.15.2012 6:39 AM PDT
  • gamertag: sims3k
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KiLo SiErRa 13


CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-

Item #: SCP-7-J

Object Class: Enochian

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7-J is to be kept in a vegetable-lined containment chamber located in area 51, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 2 blacksmiths armed with water.

In the event that SCP-7-J ever begins running its eye, Dr. is to fly SCP-7-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force epsilon-7 (''dexter'') is to be dispatched to SCP-7-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-7-J is a blue cheetah. Like most members of its species, it is able to blue car, and regularly eats twice its own weight in vegetable each day.

SCP-7-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with [REDACTED], which causes it to turn into jet. Whenever this happens, all stars within a 8 kilometer radius will begin to kill uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to lindsey lohan. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-7-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-7-J was first located in achievementberg where the [DATA EXPUNGED] were using it in order to steal all the twinkies. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force epsilon-7 (''dexter'') was able to recover the object with only 986 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 7-1

Dr. : Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr , and I am about to test SCP-7's reaction to car. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr simsek?
Dr. simsek: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. : Excellent! I am now introducing the car to 7... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. simsek: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN dick! IT'S GOT MEIN dick! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 7-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-

  • 12.15.2012 6:44 AM PDT

http://i.imgur.com/fsISj.png

Whenever this happens, all trees within a 2 kilometer radius will begin to dance uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to David Cameron. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-95-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

  • 12.15.2012 6:52 AM PDT

Yes, I AM just that awesome.

Immaturity inbound.
CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-

Item #: SCP-5-J

Object Class: 69-C

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5-J is to be kept in a frozen Nipples-lined containment chamber located in The White House, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 2 Strippers armed with Your Mom.

In the event that SCP-5-J ever begins -blam!- its balls, Your Mom is to fap SCP-5-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Alpha-7 (''Hot Asian Nymphos get big Black -blam!-'') is to be dispatched to SCP-5-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-5-J is a -blam!- platypus. Like most members of its species, it is able to -blam!- building, and regularly eats twice its own weight in frozen Nipples each day.

SCP-5-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with -blam!-, which causes it to turn into office. Whenever this happens, all offices within a 6 kilometer radius will begin to fapfap uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Kim Jong Un. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-5-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-5-J was first located in Beebe, Arkansas where the The Packars were using it in order to rule all the nipples. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Alpha-7 (''Hot Asian Nymphos get big Black -blam!-'') was able to recover the object with only 690000 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 5-1

Dr. Hitler: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Hitler, and I am about to test SCP-5's reaction to Building. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Nipples?
Dr. Nipples: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Hitler: Excellent! I am now introducing the Building to 5... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Nipples: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Hitler: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN -blam!-! IT'S GOT MEIN -blam!-! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 5-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-

  • 12.15.2012 6:58 AM PDT

This world wants to drag you down... And the weight, that guilt they want to hang around your neck, you don’t have to carry it one more step. You think they won’t let you rest, but it’s not up to them. It never was.

Item #: SCP-7-J

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7-J is to be kept in a Pizza-lined containment chamber located in Site 19, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 2 fishermen armed with bread loaves.

In the event that SCP-7-J ever begins vibrating its -blam!-, Mrs. Jane is to destroy SCP-7-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Alpha-7 (''Miami Vice'') is to be dispatched to SCP-7-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-7-J is a [REDACTED] cat. Like most members of its species, it is able to -blam!- cows, and regularly eats twice its own weight in pizza each day.

SCP-7-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with [REDACTED], which causes it to turn into jelly beans. Whenever this happens, all bath tubs within a 28 kilometer radius will begin to explode uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Michael Jackson. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-7-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

  • 12.15.2012 7:10 AM PDT
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LOL

  • 12.15.2012 7:31 AM PDT
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It just gets funnier and funnier.

[Edited on 12.15.2012 7:39 AM PST]

  • 12.15.2012 7:39 AM PDT

I hate MLP. It is cancerous and pretty stupid to see men watching a show for girls. They can deny the truth but the truth shall prevail!

"I will not fail even if I must sacrifice my life." - Siegfried

Item #: SCP-2109-J

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2109-J is to be kept in a Apple-lined containment chamber located in Alcatraz, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 4 Hygentists armed with candies.

In the event that SCP-2109-J ever begins raping its head, Mr. Markham is to walk SCP-2109-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Theta-7 (''Naruto Shippuden'') is to be dispatched to SCP-2109-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-2109-J is a Fugly Fruit Fly. Like most members of its species, it is able to run dog, and regularly eats twice its own weight in Apple each day.

SCP-2109-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with dancers, which causes it to turn into shoe. Whenever this happens, all Canadians within a 6 kilometer radius will begin to dance uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Dave Grohl. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-2109-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-2109-J was first located in Oldenburg where the New York Giants were using it in order to Skeletor. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Theta-7 (''Naruto Shippuden'') was able to recover the object with only 1004 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 2109-1

Dr. Hitler: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Hitler, and I am about to test SCP-2109's reaction to Walrus. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Szewczyk?
Dr. Szewczyk: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Hitler: Excellent! I am now introducing the Walrus to 2109... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Szewczyk: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

  • 12.15.2012 7:50 AM PDT

CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-

Item #: SCP-4-J

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4-J is to be kept in a Cow meat-lined containment chamber located in White House, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 3 Hacking armed with Pins.

In the event that SCP-4-J ever begins adding its Arm, Dr. john is to Shoot SCP-4-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Epsilon-7 (''Neon Genesis Evangelion'') is to be dispatched to SCP-4-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-4-J is a Black and White Evangelion. Like most members of its species, it is able to Produce a AT Field, and regularly eats twice its own weight in Cow meat each day.

SCP-4-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with Cards, which causes it to turn into SCP-619. Whenever this happens, all SCP's within a 5 kilometer radius will begin to produce a Mental field uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Christopher Nolan. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-4-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-4-J was first located in Tokyo-3 where the Tigers were using it in order to Reach Lilith and cause Third Impact. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Epsilon-7 (''Neon Genesis Evangelion'') was able to recover the object with only 2828 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 4-1

Dr. Langley: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Langley, and I am about to test SCP-4's reaction to Time. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Ellecon?

Dr. Ellecon: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Langley: Excellent! I am now introducing the Time to 4... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Ellecon: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Langley: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN Brain! IT'S GOT MEIN Brain! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 4-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-

  • 12.15.2012 8:03 AM PDT

Item #: SCP-3-J

Object Class: Green

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3-J is to be kept in a Bread-lined containment chamber located in Your Mom, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 1.1 Strippers armed with Pennies.

In the event that SCP-3-J ever begins Pooping its head, Coach is to jump SCP-3-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Beta-7 (''SpongeBob SquarePants'') is to be dispatched to SCP-3-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-3-J is a Hard Monkey. Like most members of its species, it is able to Swimming Jar, and regularly eats twice its own weight in Bread each day.

SCP-3-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with cats, which causes it to turn into glass. Whenever this happens, all ants within a 8 kilometer radius will begin to kick uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Mel Gibson. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-3-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-3-J was first located in Dimsdale where the Jets were using it in order to Kill. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Beta-7 (''SpongeBob SquarePants'') was able to recover the object with only 230239 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 3-1

Dr. Hitler: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Hitler, and I am about to test SCP-3's reaction to Boob. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Eisenberg?
Dr. Eisenberg: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Hitler: Excellent! I am now introducing the Boob to 3... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Eisenberg: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Hitler: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN Leg! IT'S GOT MEIN Leg! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

  • 12.15.2012 8:13 AM PDT

I am the God Emprah of Mankind.

Deal with it.

Frickin' Genius.

Item #: SCP-35-J

Object Class: super -blam!- keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-35-J is to be kept in a moar sandwich-lined containment chamber located in Clevelandlantis, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 100000 kicking asses armed with mexicans.

In the event that SCP-35-J ever begins touching its Vas Defrense, Agent Coleson is to shot SCP-35-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Eta-7 (''Breaking Bad'') is to be dispatched to SCP-35-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-35-J is a jaboobly velociraptor. Like most members of its species, it is able to slapped and a bear, and regularly eats twice its own weight in moar sandwich each day.

SCP-35-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with toothbrushes, which causes it to turn into Super Godzilla. Whenever this happens, all peoples within a 32 kilometer radius will begin to sucked uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Samuel Jackson. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-35-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-35-J was first located in Clevelandlantis where the Da Bears were using it in order to eat your mom's delicious blueberry pie. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Eta-7 (''Breaking Bad'') was able to recover the object with only .00001 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 35-1

Dr. Gutenberg: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Gutenberg, and I am about to test SCP-35's reaction to sandwich. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr bob?

Dr. bob: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Gutenberg: Excellent! I am now introducing the sandwich to 35... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. bob: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Gutenberg: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN sphincter! IT'S GOT MEIN sphincter! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOGItem #: SCP-35-J

  • 12.15.2012 8:26 AM PDT

Item #: SCP-69-J

Object Class: Red

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-69-J is to be kept in a chocolate-lined containment chamber located in The Pentagon, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 8 accountants armed with money.

In the event that SCP-69-J ever begins humping its dick, Hitler is to gag SCP-69-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Gamma-7 (''24'') is to be dispatched to SCP-69-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-69-J is a ingenious camel. Like most members of its species, it is able to spit acid, and regularly eats twice its own weight in chocolate each day.

SCP-69-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with people, which causes it to turn into Osama Bin Laden . Whenever this happens, all humans within a 84 kilometer radius will begin to choke uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Barack Obama. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-69-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-69-J was first located in Townsville where the New Orleans Saints were using it in order to Blow up the moon.. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Gamma-7 (''24'') was able to recover the object with only 9001 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 69-1

Dr. Swartz: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Swartz, and I am about to test SCP-69's reaction to gun. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Schwartz?
Dr. Schwartz: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Swartz: Excellent! I am now introducing the gun to 69... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Schwartz: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Swartz: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN buttocks ! IT'S GOT MEIN buttocks ! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

  • 12.15.2012 8:33 AM PDT
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***Aberrant Designs***

Finished the fight on September 26,2007, 10:49pm EST
Remembered Reach on September 15th, 2010 9:30pm EST

Haha! That is awesome.

Here's mine:
CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-

Item #: SCP-91-J

Object Class: Whore

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-91-J is to be kept in a Meatballs-lined containment chamber located in Fort Knox, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 5 Software Engineer armed with toothpicks.

In the event that SCP-91-J ever begins fapping its face, Dickens is to caress SCP-91-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force alpha-7 (''The Walking Dead'') is to be dispatched to SCP-91-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-91-J is a quickly coyote. Like most members of its species, it is able to running feet, and regularly eats twice its own weight in Meatballs each day.

SCP-91-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with pies, which causes it to turn into pencil. Whenever this happens, all fingers within a 18 kilometer radius will begin to swim uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Donald Trump. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-91-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-91-J was first located in Buttonbury where the Detroit Lions were using it in order to sex with everyone. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force alpha-7 (''The Walking Dead'') was able to recover the object with only 2469 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 91-1

Dr. Kilpfsch: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Kilpfsch, and I am about to test SCP-91's reaction to Boobs. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Johnson?
Dr. Johnson: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Kilpfsch: Excellent! I am now introducing the Boobs to 91... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Johnson: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Kilpfsch: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN rectum! IT'S GOT MEIN rectum! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 91-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-

  • 12.15.2012 8:35 AM PDT

A cornered fox is more dangerous than a jackal.

And from FOX, two phantoms were born.

Item #: SCP-9-J

Object Class: Dangerous

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-9-J is to be kept in a Pizza-lined containment chamber located in White House, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 0.5 Hitman armed with Eggs.

In the event that SCP-9-J ever begins sucking its head, Boss is to chase SCP-9-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force p-7 (''Breaking Bad'') is to be dispatched to SCP-9-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-9-J is a Amazing Cat. Like most members of its species, it is able to attack kids, and regularly eats twice its own weight in Pizza each day.

SCP-9-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with cats, which causes it to turn into seal. Whenever this happens, all dogs within a 8 kilometer radius will begin to attack uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Hugh Hefner. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-9-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-9-J was first located in Stupdid Town where the Ravens were using it in order to KILL EVERYTHING. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force p-7 (''Breaking Bad'') was able to recover the object with only 82 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 9-1

Dr. Himmler: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Himmler, and I am about to test SCP-9's reaction to Sean. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Hollyman?
Dr. Hollyman: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Himmler: Excellent! I am now introducing the Sean to 9... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Hollyman: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Himmler: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN leg! IT'S GOT MEIN leg! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

  • 12.15.2012 8:39 AM PDT
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SCP-7-J is a stupid Utah Raptor. Like most members of its species, it is able to murder eggheads, and regularly eats twice its own weight in Crab each day.

I am losing my -blam!- right now.

  • 12.15.2012 8:47 AM PDT