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This isn't an alt to avoid bans.
Srlsy.
So I'm 19 years old...and well...I'm kind of scared of growing up...not scared really but more like disenchanted or not wanting to.
I mean...maybe it's cause of stress lately(I haven't been doing well and now have no clue what I want to do in life).
Maybe it's cause I romanticize being young...but when you're young you can dream.
You can be anything you want to and you can believe it's true. You're on your way to being President, an Astronaut, a famous musician, a fireman. All of those things combined, you can be it and you can dream it.
But then when you get older reality starts to hit home.
You can't be President, because you're -blam!-, and well, the majority of Americans probably won't accept that anytime soon.
You can't be an Astronaut because NASA is basically done with manned space missions for a while, and besides, you have a minor form of epilepsy. It's minor, but, you won't be piloting anything for a while.
You can be a musician if you want, but your family won't support you. They want you to be a doctor and it seems they'll never accept your dream because it means you'll probably live poorly, and what parent wants that?
I mean I could go on, but you get what I'm saying. Being a kid is amazing. Everything is new, scary, fantastic, and bright and you can do what you want, eat what you want, hurt yourself basically how you want, just don't let the grownups catch you. You wonder why the sky's blue, and when you ask, you don't really understand the answer, but you'll probably believe it and be amazed that someone knows.
But when you're older, the only time you can really dream is when you slip off from reality a bit. And you can't go back to that true sense of wonder, fear, and excitement. You don't care why the sky's blue. It doesn't matter to you. Besides, even if someone told you, you wouldn't believe them 100% because you know people lie and that you can't trust everyone.
So what I'm asking I guess is, is this weird? If it's not how do I get over the fact that I'm moving towards boring old adult life and that one day my hips will be going out, my back will hurt, I'll be worried about my 401k, and hoping for my holiday bonus?
Anyone get what I'm saying?
And why is this happening to me now? Am I growing up? Am I late to the party at 19? Early? Is this what it's like to be 20? Cause if it is, my older friends didn't tell me about $#!% like this, and they should've.
[Edited on 12.18.2012 8:42 PM PST]