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  • Subject: I have a fear of growing up. Well, kind of. Not really?
Subject: I have a fear of growing up. Well, kind of. Not really?
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Srlsy.

So I'm 19 years old...and well...I'm kind of scared of growing up...not scared really but more like disenchanted or not wanting to.

I mean...maybe it's cause of stress lately(I haven't been doing well and now have no clue what I want to do in life).

Maybe it's cause I romanticize being young...but when you're young you can dream.
You can be anything you want to and you can believe it's true. You're on your way to being President, an Astronaut, a famous musician, a fireman. All of those things combined, you can be it and you can dream it.

But then when you get older reality starts to hit home.
You can't be President, because you're -blam!-, and well, the majority of Americans probably won't accept that anytime soon.
You can't be an Astronaut because NASA is basically done with manned space missions for a while, and besides, you have a minor form of epilepsy. It's minor, but, you won't be piloting anything for a while.
You can be a musician if you want, but your family won't support you. They want you to be a doctor and it seems they'll never accept your dream because it means you'll probably live poorly, and what parent wants that?

I mean I could go on, but you get what I'm saying. Being a kid is amazing. Everything is new, scary, fantastic, and bright and you can do what you want, eat what you want, hurt yourself basically how you want, just don't let the grownups catch you. You wonder why the sky's blue, and when you ask, you don't really understand the answer, but you'll probably believe it and be amazed that someone knows.

But when you're older, the only time you can really dream is when you slip off from reality a bit. And you can't go back to that true sense of wonder, fear, and excitement. You don't care why the sky's blue. It doesn't matter to you. Besides, even if someone told you, you wouldn't believe them 100% because you know people lie and that you can't trust everyone.

So what I'm asking I guess is, is this weird? If it's not how do I get over the fact that I'm moving towards boring old adult life and that one day my hips will be going out, my back will hurt, I'll be worried about my 401k, and hoping for my holiday bonus?

Anyone get what I'm saying?
And why is this happening to me now? Am I growing up? Am I late to the party at 19? Early? Is this what it's like to be 20? Cause if it is, my older friends didn't tell me about $#!% like this, and they should've.

[Edited on 12.18.2012 8:42 PM PST]

  • 12.18.2012 8:31 PM PDT
Subject: I have a fear of growing up. Well, kind of.
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Talk to the Soul | ~B.B. | Know Your Duardo |  | Hero | ISFJ | 77135 | 94371

"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me."

Being scared to move on in your life is completely normal. Now you just have to take that first step. You'll learn that you'll love having more freedom.

  • 12.18.2012 8:33 PM PDT

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Posted by: Duardo
Being scared to move on in your life is completely normal. Now you just have to take that first step. You'll learn that you'll love having more freedom.
This, when I turned 16 I started having a fear of growing up and becoming older but that is slipping away, but it really just is a phase you will get out of.

[Edited on 12.18.2012 8:34 PM PST]

  • 12.18.2012 8:33 PM PDT
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What? Got something against Yetis?

As funny as it sounds... being afraid of growing up is a part of growing up. You'll eventually realize that being an adult has a lot more freedoms than you might think.
Damnit, Duardo. You ninja'd my post so hardcore.

[Edited on 12.18.2012 8:35 PM PST]

  • 12.18.2012 8:34 PM PDT

Nahman Jayden, Eff bee eye. I herd that you're the origammy killah...

You're simply realizing and coming to terms with what you want from life. There's no shame about that. What do you enjoy doing and like? Make it your priority to be the best you possibly can be in that area, and enjoy doing it. That's how you enjoy working at a job.

  • 12.18.2012 8:34 PM PDT
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Srlsy.


Posted by: Duardo
Being scared to move on in your life is completely normal. Now you just have to take that first step. You'll learn that you'll love having more freedom.

But how can you have more freedom than a child?

I feel like the more people grow, the more they're restricted in life.

  • 12.18.2012 8:35 PM PDT
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I just want to live with my parents and play on the computer for the rest of my life.

  • 12.18.2012 8:35 PM PDT


Posted by: dpking1
I just want to live with my parents and play on the computer for the rest of my life.

Amen.

  • 12.18.2012 8:36 PM PDT

I'm with you OP. College starts next year for me.

I get that annoying little thought at times that says "2004 wasn't yesterday Kyle," and keep thinking that death is eventually going to happen.

A lot to think about. I can honestly say that I am with you. And I hope you're right, Durando. Wise words.

  • 12.18.2012 8:37 PM PDT
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Srlsy.


Posted by: dpking1
I just want to live with my parents and play on the computer for the rest of my life.

See that's what I don't want.

When I mean is that I want to have that same like, raw emotional state that kids have. Like pure wonder, and amazement. Even fear. It's like the more we grow, the more we become dull and used to the world around us when it's beautiful and magnificent.

  • 12.18.2012 8:37 PM PDT

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Posted by: tMLeaf_v2

Posted by: Duardo
Being scared to move on in your life is completely normal. Now you just have to take that first step. You'll learn that you'll love having more freedom.

But how can you have more freedom than a child?

I feel like the more people grow, the more they're restricted in life.



Only if they get responsibilities. That's what comes with getting a real job, wife, kids, etc.

I personally am way too selfish and self centered for the later two, hence I live a fairly care free enjoyable life with no wife and kids. I do what I please when I want. Go on vacation, buy cars, guitar, etc...why, because I don't have a wife or kid to worry about.

  • 12.18.2012 8:38 PM PDT
Subject: I have a fear of growing up. Well, kind of. Not really?

Posted by: tMLeaf_v2

Posted by: dpking1
I just want to live with my parents and play on the computer for the rest of my life.

See that's what I don't want.

When I mean is that I want to have that same like, raw emotional state that kids have. Like pure wonder, and amazement. Even fear. It's like the more we grow, the more we become dull and used to the world around us when it's beautiful and magnificent.

No matter how much you study, you'll never know everything there is to know. There is ALWAYS something to learn.

It's up to you to show amazement or become amused by the stuff around you.

[Edited on 12.18.2012 8:42 PM PST]

  • 12.18.2012 8:42 PM PDT

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Posted by: Wikked Navajoe
My problems [with Reach] are basically just full parties, mlg, and people who go out of their way not to get killed.

Like Duardo said, it's completely normal. I was so worried about entering the professional world and starting a career after college because all people do is complain and seem unhappy.

Honestly? I find it fun managing money and spending money on myself and my fiance. Plus having your own space is a definite plus.

  • 12.18.2012 8:44 PM PDT
Subject: I have a fear of growing up. Well, kind of.

Please stop complaining about the 'death of a loved one' it's my job. They probably deserved it anyways. Here's a warning, if you keep making pentagrams out of the neighbors livestock I will personally come to your house and kill everyone you love. Now leave me alone, I got to get back to work.
~M.D~

Trust me, you have a lot to fear.

  • 12.18.2012 8:45 PM PDT
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I'm looking forward to being able to come and go as I please and feel like I've earned everything I have. Also, coming home to the one you love would certainly be something I could get used to as well.

  • 12.18.2012 8:47 PM PDT
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Srlsy.


Posted by: ANKLE5
I'm looking forward to being able to come and go as I please and feel like I've earned everything I have. Also, coming home to the one you love would certainly be something I could get used to as well.

Isn't that being a kid?

I mean, who truly feels like they get to come and go as they please more than a kid. The king of the sandlot. Those who think they are the first to discover the tallest tree in the woods and climb and conquer it.
And then going home(in a general situation), to your parent(s) and saying "See what I did" and the look on the face of those big, brave grown ups as they go "Woooaaaah! Look at you! You climbed that WHOLE TREE by yourself?!" Even if they're made and they patronize you for climbing a tall tree where you could've gotten hurt, you know in your head that you're right, they're wrong, nany-nany-nah-nah because they're just upset that they can't be as big and as strong and as brave as you.

And if you fall? Well then you know big strong mommy/daddy are coming to make everything better and you're going to be scared. Maybe more scared than you knew you could be, but you'll be better cause mom/dad will come and make everything better.

But that's the thing...if they don't...you grow up a bit...and you learn not to trust as much. You learn that some trees can't be climbed, least not by you, and you learn you're not what you thought you were.

  • 12.18.2012 8:53 PM PDT
Subject: I have a fear of growing up. Well, kind of. Not really?

When I was 19 I couldn't wait to get out from under my parents' rule. I couldn't wait to grow up.

Now I'm 24, worrying about my 401K and my Christmas bonus, and you know what, I love it. I wouldn't turn back time for a million bucks.

  • 12.19.2012 7:39 AM PDT

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If you're not doing things that are new, scary and fantastic then you're not being an adult either.

  • 12.19.2012 7:48 AM PDT
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Adulthood > Childhood

  • 12.19.2012 7:49 AM PDT
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When you grow up you get to do whatever you want. You can wake up in the morning and piss in your kitchen sink just because.

  • 12.19.2012 7:52 AM PDT

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Posted by: brandorobot
When you grow up you get to do whatever you want. You can wake up in the morning and piss in your kitchen sink just because.
My job is to winterize houses during... Winter. On the job you can't piss into the anti freeze, so I get to piss into all the sinks I want. Sometimes the place is so disgusting I can pull up to a wall and just go.

  • 12.19.2012 7:54 AM PDT
Subject: I have a fear of growing up. Well, kind of.

Per Audacia Ad Astra

Posted by: Duardo
Being scared to move on in your life is completely normal. Now you just have to take that first step. You'll learn that you'll love having more freedom.

  • 12.19.2012 8:03 AM PDT