- Skittles x
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- Exalted Mythic Member
Long ago, in Chicago, IL there lived a man who went by the name of Jason Jones. Jason's upstairs neighbor had an evil little bastard chihuahua named Ling-Ling that was annoying as crap. Jason would sit awake all night -- not because of the dog... just because he didn't sleep. Ever. But still, that dog was annoying as crap, man! Ling-Ling would not stop barking.
Jason Jones had had enough. One night, while the world ( all except that damn dog!) slept, he climbed the fire escape to his neighbor's apartment and killed the pooch. He cut off its head to make sure that if it did come back as a zombie (a real problem that we all should take into account when making decisions), it wouldn't be able to bark and annoy him from beyond the grave. He preserved the head in a pickle jar and kept it as a trophy.
In his new-found solace, Jones was able to concentrate on his life-long goal: to create a kick-ass video game (Halo) and head up a gaming company (Bungie).
Years later, with Bungie growing as a superpower in the world [of gaming], dissident factions began arising to challenge the authority of our great dictator, Jason Jones. Many tried... they all failed. All, that is, until a man by the name of Harold Ryan came about. Ryan wasn't like the other challengers. Ryan wielded The Shaft. After a long and drawn out battle that lasted like, 4 whole minutes, Ryan managed to give Jones The Shaft and emerged the victor.
Jones was bested. But still managed to get in the last word. As he left to pursue other endeavors, he was heard muttering that Ryan was a, "-blam!- -blam!- little -blam!- who -blam!- -blam!- -blam!- potatoes!" Of course, no one knows what he meant... he actually talks like that.
Ryan, to ensure his new reign of terror would never be challenged, placed Jones' prized Ling-Ling trophy in a cabinet at Bungie studios to ward off potential mutiny-ers. There it remains: forever a monument to the supremacy of our overlord, Harold Ryan. The one who bested Jason Jones in combat.
*Disclaimer: The information in this post is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real events is mere coincidence and PLEASE DONT KILL ME JASON. Additionally, if you've read this far and still need this notice to convince you of that then you are... hmm... well would ya look at that! When I put my eye up to my webcam I can see through your monitor! Someone wrote "gullible" on the wall behind you!*