- MyNameIsCharlie
- |
- Fabled Mythic Member
Studies show that men think about sex every 7 seconds. I do my best to eat hotdogs in under 6, just so things don't get weird.
Please allow me to introduce Myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith
Posted by: M1Silencer
Ok here's how it goes:
They meet on a windswept plain of ice on Christmas Eve. Master Chiefs visor glints in the pale moonlight and Santa's beard casually wisps in the wind. As they stare each other down, Chief pulls out an AR and begins to fire at Santa who dives into cover behind a low ice shelf. Bullets whiz above Santa's head as Chief approaches the shelf to kill santa while he's down, but little does he know that Santa is actually using his time stopping powers to go behind Chief. As the Chief looks at where Santa should be, the jolly red man Jingle Kicks Chief's legs out from under him, causing the Chief to fall. Claus pounces on the Chief, who quickly recovers by pushing Claus away with mighty two legged kick, sending Claus flying towards the workshop.
The two exchange punches as they enter the workshop, breaking boxes and killing elves in the process. A swift punch in Santa's face causes Santa to fall on a conveyer belt leading to a nailing station. Chief decides to hold Santa down as the belt inches closer to the rapidly piercing needle, smashing Santa's face with a quick elbow and fist along the way. In distress, Santa thrusts the weight of his body upwards causing the Chief to lose hold of Santa and allowing him to give a Kringle elbow to the gut. Santa then grabs Chief by the head and suplexes him into the big metal machine behind him. The machine sets off sparks, causing parts of the workshop to catch fire and some unfortunate elves to become crushed by falling debris. Chief bounces off the machine and headbutts Santa then with his shoulder and head spears Santa to the ground. A flurry of angry fists pummel Santa in the face and guy, causing major internal ruptures and broken bones. As the blood starts pooling around Santa's defeated body, his vision begins to fade and his head becomes cloudy.
The pummeling ensues, but Santa no longer feels the pain as his body has suffered too much abuse. But then an odd thing happens. Millions of small voices begin to enter his head. They are children's voices praying for Santa Claus to come to their homes on this beautiful Christmas Eve. All those voices begin to bring him back to reality and the sight of the Chief pulling a Magnum from behind and aiming it at Santa's head. Realizing that Christmas was too important for this -blam!- to ruin, Santa is filled with rage and in the blink of an eye sends a massive powerful punch at Cheif's chest. The amount of power within that punch is enough to break through Cheif's armor, his skin and through the soft tissue inside. Santa grabs hold of whatever he can and quickly yanks his fist out of the gaping hole in Chief's chest, blood and organs falling out as he does so. The Chief collapses to the ground, dying as Santa stands above his broken body and says...
"To all a good night mother-blam!-."
Winners: Us.
Losers: Chief and some Elves