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  • Subject: Nice Guy Syndrome
Subject: Nice Guy Syndrome
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the will to win is the will to destroy


Posted by: Mr Pinata

Posted by: jaythenerdkid
What is even more boggling is the idea that there are people who see niceness as a means to an end - like, it's not worth being nice to another person if they're not going to sleep with you. If you're only nice to people so they'll give you what you want, aren't you...not really all that nice at all?


Oh god, not exactly "nice guy syndrome" but I have a recent experience with this.

So my girl introduces me to one of her male friends and holy ducks, we get along fine. We honestly have no problems with each other and I think he's genuinely a pretty cool guy unlike some of her other friends which I either find downright annoying or are just massive -blam!-s to me for god knows what reason.

However, it's eventually revealed to him that the two of us are in a relationship and that's when everything changes. He starts being a condescending -blam!- to me and pretty much has a negative comment on everything I say or do. I eventually ask her what's up with him and she tells me that he basically thinks I'm an intolerable smartass, douche, and biggest kicker is that he likes her.

Quite honestly, I'm not ever sure what to label him other than a jellymad beta boy however I don't even know if that would be the correct terminology.

/blog
sounds like a douche people should be nice to people for being nice to people

  • 12.20.2012 1:04 PM PDT
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Well, here we are. I guess that it was destined to come to this.

Anytime that any human being doesn't get something/someone that they wanted and felt that they should have gotten, they tend to look for reasons.

Almost every conclusion that people come to when they "didn't get what they wanted" is a conclusion that ignores the reality that "you won't/don't always get what you want" and instead allows the individual to blame something other than themselves or simply the fact that not everyone is going to (or supposed to) like them.

"It's because I'm ________, isn't it?"

And you can put anything in the blank that the speaker is using as shield for their bruised/crushed ego.

Sex, preference, skin color, age, weight, income, heritage, personality.... well, the list is infinite.

  • 12.20.2012 1:04 PM PDT

"Life is constantly fleeting from your grasp even from the very day it's bestowed upon you, but the shadow of death is always there, waiting for its chance to take you away."

"Even though many may not think so, ignorance and innocence are one and the same. The only difference is that one sounds nicer."

"I once knew a man who spent his entire life contemplating where we go after our death....it's a shame he realized it a second too late to tell anyone."


Posted by: Mr Pinata

Posted by: jaythenerdkid
What is even more boggling is the idea that there are people who see niceness as a means to an end - like, it's not worth being nice to another person if they're not going to sleep with you. If you're only nice to people so they'll give you what you want, aren't you...not really all that nice at all?


Oh god, not exactly "nice guy syndrome" but I have a recent experience with this.

So my girl introduces me to one of her male friends and holy ducks, we get along fine. We honestly have no problems with each other and I think he's genuinely a pretty cool guy unlike some of her other friends which I either find downright annoying or are just massive -blam!-s to me for god knows what reason.

However, it's eventually revealed to him that the two of us are in a relationship and that's when everything changes. He starts being a condescending -blam!- to me and pretty much has a negative comment on everything I say or do. I eventually ask her what's up with him and she tells me that he basically thinks I'm an intolerable smartass, douche, and biggest kicker is that he likes her.

Quite honestly, I'm not ever sure what to label him other than a jellymad beta boy however I don't even know if that would be the correct terminology.

/blog
Jealousy can cause people to act really really stupid...

  • 12.20.2012 1:04 PM PDT
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"The hero is the one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for men to see by.
The saint is the man who walks through the dark paths of the world, himself a light."
-Felix Adler


Posted by: jaythenerdkid

Posted by: Emperor Gillard
A date?
Yes.
A relationship?
No.
But...why?

If some random guy/girl is nice to me and then asks me on a date, why should they be able to expect that I'll say yes? What if I just don't find them interesting or attractive? What if I already have a partner and was interacting with them without any kind of ulterior motive, just taking their niceness at face value? Don't people have the right to turn down a date for whatever reason they want, whenever they want?

Well yeah, of course they have the right to turn them down. But the person who asked should at least be given a chance to prove themselves.

  • 12.20.2012 1:05 PM PDT

Posted by: cB4d93
Posted by: Silent Eli
you are a good translator
Idiot can be a hard language to learn, but once you get it down, everything becomes so clear! The whole world will make sense to you.

This tumblr is hysterical. Beta males.

  • 12.20.2012 1:08 PM PDT
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Posted by: jaythenerdkid

Posted by: brandorobot
I also don't get why guys think girls want to be coddled like royalty. Holding open every door and pulling out every chair, that same guy would probably lay yourself down over a puddle so she wouldn't get her feet wet. It makes you look desperate as hell, and those are the same guys that probably smother the hell out of a girl when they do happen to get one.
To be honest, I like having doors held open for me and chairs pulled out for me, because I grew up in a culture where it was expected that people would do that. There's nothing inherently wrong with being nice, that's not the point at all - the point is that you can't go "hey, I'm nice, why won't you date me?" as though that's literally all you have to do in order to get a partner.

That's exactly why I think it's unnecessary and usually just makes you look overly desperate. Especially if you're doing it on the first date. If she's interested in you it's not going to be because you went out of your way to pull out a chair. So what's the point?

  • 12.20.2012 1:10 PM PDT

Posted by: Kurosaki_Kun

I know, right?
Jay acts like she's better than everyone else simply because she's a chick.
I hope she chokes to death.


Posted by: Emperor Gillard

Posted by: jaythenerdkid

Posted by: Emperor Gillard
A date?
Yes.
A relationship?
No.
But...why?

If some random guy/girl is nice to me and then asks me on a date, why should they be able to expect that I'll say yes? What if I just don't find them interesting or attractive? What if I already have a partner and was interacting with them without any kind of ulterior motive, just taking their niceness at face value? Don't people have the right to turn down a date for whatever reason they want, whenever they want?

Well yeah, of course they have the right to turn them down. But the person who asked should at least be given a chance to prove themselves.
Again, why?

Say I ask you on a date right now. Maybe I'm the nicest person in the world. Maybe I speak ten languages and play fifteen instruments and spend all my spare time saving orphans from poverty or whatever. Great! I am an awesome person. I am wonderful and special and deserving of praise.

But say you aren't attracted to girls with my hair colour. Say you already have a girlfriend. Say you just don't feel like going out with me because you don't feel a spark. None of that makes me any less awesome - it just means that my particular combination of traits isn't appealing to you for whatever reason.

And that's fine. Honestly, it is! You don't owe me a chance to "prove myself" if you don't want to give me one. You really don't. Nobody owes anyone else anything except a basic standard of human decency. And believe it or not, you don't have to take someone out on a date in order to be a decent human being, no matter how awesome that person may or may not be. If I then go off and complain about how no guys want nice girls who play fifteen instruments and care for orphaned babies, that doesn't make you some kind of monster - that makes me some kind of idiot for blaming your lack of interest in me on some kind of failing you have, rather than the fact that we just weren't compatible.

See? Nobody owes anyone anything. If you want something from someone else, you can ask for it, but if they don't give it to you, you don't have any right to expect that they should have. That's how life works - not just in terms of dating, but in terms of everything. Sure, there are social contracts that circumvent that - between parent and child, between friends, between bosses and their employees, etc - but if we're talking two strangers with no connection, or even two people who are friendly but don't have any kind of specific or explicit social contract mandating their behaviour? Nope. Nobody owes anyone anything. That's life.

  • 12.20.2012 1:11 PM PDT

Posted by: x Foman123 x

Posted by: Le Petit Chien
If you were my son, I'd be proud.
This. I'd take you out for a dinner at your favorite restaurant.


Quoted by a Mod. Call me a suck up, but I feel pretty damn awesome right now.

Be nice, but not obsessive; keep an air of mystery to yourself. Make the girl want you. If you're up in their face all the time, complimenting them, not giving them space, then you're gonna end up in the friendzone.

Just be a friend and see where it goes from there.

  • 12.20.2012 1:13 PM PDT

How about we all be nice and don't expect to get everything we want for it.

  • 12.20.2012 1:21 PM PDT
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"The hero is the one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for men to see by.
The saint is the man who walks through the dark paths of the world, himself a light."
-Felix Adler


Posted by: jaythenerdkid

Posted by: Emperor Gillard

Posted by: jaythenerdkid

Posted by: Emperor Gillard
A date?
Yes.
A relationship?
No.
But...why?

If some random guy/girl is nice to me and then asks me on a date, why should they be able to expect that I'll say yes? What if I just don't find them interesting or attractive? What if I already have a partner and was interacting with them without any kind of ulterior motive, just taking their niceness at face value? Don't people have the right to turn down a date for whatever reason they want, whenever they want?

Well yeah, of course they have the right to turn them down. But the person who asked should at least be given a chance to prove themselves.
Again, why?

Say I ask you on a date right now. Maybe I'm the nicest person in the world. Maybe I speak ten languages and play fifteen instruments and spend all my spare time saving orphans from poverty or whatever. Great! I am an awesome person. I am wonderful and special and deserving of praise.

But say you aren't attracted to girls with my hair colour. Say you already have a girlfriend. Say you just don't feel like going out with me because you don't feel a spark. None of that makes me any less awesome - it just means that my particular combination of traits isn't appealing to you for whatever reason.

And that's fine. Honestly, it is! You don't owe me a chance to "prove myself" if you don't want to give me one. You really don't. Nobody owes anyone else anything except a basic standard of human decency. And believe it or not, you don't have to take someone out on a date in order to be a decent human being, no matter how awesome that person may or may not be. If I then go off and complain about how no guys want nice girls who play fifteen instruments and care for orphaned babies, that doesn't make you some kind of monster - that makes me some kind of idiot for blaming your lack of interest in me on some kind of failing you have, rather than the fact that we just weren't compatible.

See? Nobody owes anyone anything. If you want something from someone else, you can ask for it, but if they don't give it to you, you don't have any right to expect that they should have. That's how life works - not just in terms of dating, but in terms of everything. Sure, there are social contracts that circumvent that - between parent and child, between friends, between bosses and their employees, etc - but if we're talking two strangers with no connection, or even two people who are friendly but don't have any kind of specific or explicit social contract mandating their behaviour? Nope. Nobody owes anyone anything. That's life.

1. I don't have a type in terms of looks. Unless someone is horrendously disgusting, then there's a chance I could become interested after getting to know them.
2. If I wasn't single, I would say no in every circumstance.
3. It depends on how much you know the person. If you just met, or have only known them for say a month or so, then you may not know particulars about them that could change your mind.
I.e. Person A is nice, but person B isn't interested. B agrees to go on a date anyway and learns that person A loves trains. This mutual passion opens B's eyes to A's other traits so they get married and have infinite children.
4. I can see where you're coming from, but unless you know them well enough or completely dislike (not indifferent to, but dislike) their personality, then they might as well be given a chance.

  • 12.20.2012 1:22 PM PDT
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"Niceness" is obviously a desirable characteristic, but I agree that it is not and should not be the sole prerequisite for attraction.

  • 12.20.2012 1:36 PM PDT

Posted by: The Kangol Kid
It was then that I decided he really is like semen(everywhere) and I gave up on life.


zoobkillerninja <3

Posted by: jaythenerdkid
do you think niceness should guarantee you a date?
lolno
A chance at conversation, perhaps.Have you witnessed Nice Guy Syndrome in your personal life, either from friends or prospective partners?Of course.And is Nice Guys of OKC the best Tumblr ever, or what?Yes.

  • 12.20.2012 1:41 PM PDT

I persist too long after my own defeat,
Yet I still press forward, staggering on my feet.
But I know that my resolution will be my end.
And once I fall, I shall ruefully transcend.

I'm only nice to the people I care about.

/thread

[Edited on 12.20.2012 1:43 PM PST]

  • 12.20.2012 1:43 PM PDT
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the will to win is the will to destroy


Posted by: Snake Plissken
"Niceness" is obviously a desirable characteristic, but I agree that it is not and should not be the sole prerequisite for attraction.
yup yup being nice is it's own reward

  • 12.20.2012 1:44 PM PDT

Posted by: Kurosaki_Kun

I know, right?
Jay acts like she's better than everyone else simply because she's a chick.
I hope she chokes to death.


Posted by: Emperor Gillard

1. I don't have a type in terms of looks. Unless someone is horrendously disgusting, then there's a chance I could become interested after getting to know them.
2. If I wasn't single, I would say no in every circumstance.
3. It depends on how much you know the person. If you just met, or have only known them for say a month or so, then you may not know particulars about them that could change your mind.
I.e. Person A is nice, but person B isn't interested. B agrees to go on a date anyway and learns that person A loves trains. This mutual passion opens B's eyes to A's other traits so they get married and have infinite children.
4. I can see where you're coming from, but unless you know them well enough or completely dislike (not indifferent to, but dislike) their personality, then they might as well be given a chance.
The thing is, you can choose to give someone a chance, but you don't have to give someone a chance. That's the difference, see? Maybe you would take someone out if they asked you on a date because you feel like it can't hurt. Great! That's your choice, you can do that if you want. But it would be an equally valid choice if you decided not to give that person a chance. That person wouldn't deserve your attention - whether or not they got it would be solely up to you.

  • 12.20.2012 1:44 PM PDT

NON FACET NOBIS CALCITRARE VESTRUM PERNǢUM


Posted by: annoyinginge
Being a "nice guy" is the equivalent of the really overweight girls who say they "have a big heart".

^This made me lol.

  • 12.20.2012 1:44 PM PDT

I'm 23, I have a house, dog, girlfriend, job and I have no interest in any fanboyism so if you're thinking about sending me a childish PM, don't be surprised when I don't call back.

Most of these "nice guys" are nerdy sociopaths and most of the guys they describe are just regular guys that happen to have dated the women who put them in the friend zone.

You want women to like you? Have a wash, stop expecting people to find you in the basement, stop being nerdy and sarcastic and actually treat women decently, not rocket science.

  • 12.20.2012 1:46 PM PDT
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Posted by: Endoterrik 13

Posted by: annoyinginge
Being a "nice guy" is the equivalent of the really overweight girls who say they "have a big heart".

^This made me lol.

Except the girl is probably telling the truth. If she's obese her heart is probably dangerously enlarged.

  • 12.20.2012 1:47 PM PDT
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We all wear masks and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing our own skin.

For a date? No.
People shouldn't settle or pity date someone simply because they're nice.

  • 12.20.2012 1:51 PM PDT

Posted by: Kurosaki_Kun

I know, right?
Jay acts like she's better than everyone else simply because she's a chick.
I hope she chokes to death.


Posted by: Endoterrik 13

Posted by: annoyinginge
Being a "nice guy" is the equivalent of the really overweight girls who say they "have a big heart".

^This made me lol.
Like I said, it's not always related to looks.

  • 12.20.2012 2:01 PM PDT

▀▄▀▄ Strategy, Competition, & Achievements for Halo & Beyond ▄▀▄▀
████▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒░░░░ Mjolnir Battle Tactics ░░░░▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓████


"Ignorance is a plague."

Close, but the plague killed those infected with it, and the ignorant are still alive.
I wish ignorance was a plague.

Posted by: brandorobot
Posted by: Endoterrik 13
Posted by: annoyinginge
Being a "nice guy" is the equivalent of the really overweight girls who say they "have a big heart".

^This made me lol.

Except the girl is probably telling the truth. If she's obese her heart is probably dangerously enlarged.
Or it's being crushed under her weight.

  • 12.20.2012 2:04 PM PDT

Posted by: Kurosaki_Kun

I know, right?
Jay acts like she's better than everyone else simply because she's a chick.
I hope she chokes to death.


Posted by: destroys u
Posted by: brandorobot
Posted by: Endoterrik 13
Posted by: annoyinginge
Being a "nice guy" is the equivalent of the really overweight girls who say they "have a big heart".

^This made me lol.

Except the girl is probably telling the truth. If she's obese her heart is probably dangerously enlarged.
Or it's being crushed under her weight.

Posted by: jaythenerdkid
Like I said, it's not always related to looks.

  • 12.20.2012 2:17 PM PDT
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Two movies you should watch: Fight Club and Pineapple Express

"Wait. What do you mean, it's dead?"
"If marijuana is not legal within the next five years I have no faith left in humanity, period. Everyone likes smoking weed. They have for thousands of years. They're not going to stop anytime soon. You know? It makes everything better. Makes food taste better, makes music better. It makes sex feel better for God's sake. It makes -blam!- movies better you know?"

Unfortunately Mr. Nice Guy isn't seeing the whole picture.

  • 12.20.2012 2:24 PM PDT

I don't see you doing anything to help our country.
Except sitting at home, naked, eating twinkies, rubbing your hands together going "Heh. Target Destroyed. Mission Accomplished." Oh wait. that's not helping.

Most of the time the "nice guy" is just oblivious to the world around him.

  • 12.20.2012 2:25 PM PDT

Posted by: ElementalRunner

Posted by: Commander Stroll
Still using a pump-action shotgun over 500 years in the future I see.

omg not realistic stop game production plz

We have another name for nice guy syndrome...it's called "Beta Male".

I really appreciate "niceness" as such in people, but it's this self-entitlement that some people have that gets me bugged.

Don't even get me started on the legend of so-called "Beta Orbiters". :P

  • 12.20.2012 2:27 PM PDT