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  • Subject: Long distance relationships... help.
Subject: Long distance relationships... help.

~:O>~~

So my girlfriend of 3 months (we knew each other for 1 1/2 years) is moving away to the city, and while I initially thought she was ready to move on apparently she is far from it.

First she asked me what would happen if she broke up with me, I said I would still care about her and deal with it, but I would still be hurt. After 10 minutes I asked the same question and she responded with crying and possibly harming herself...

I tried to make her promise not to do anything to hurt herself, she said she couldn't, but I did make her promise to at least try. I made it clear that I didn't want anything bad happening, I'm planning on moving in a half year's time to move in with her, but I'm afraid that things will be vastly different then what is right now.

So... I just need ideas to maintain a fulfilling relationship over long distances, and to have it to where my presence can still account for something while were away from each other. Any suggestions will be appreciated.

  • 12.24.2012 5:10 AM PDT
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3rd edition. Now with more grunt.

TFS 4 lyfe

Clone her.

  • 12.24.2012 5:10 AM PDT

Quod Erat Demonstrandum.

If you're interested in Halo's music, check this out.

Posted by: x Foman123 x
Speaking of chuckles, let's all lol at IonicPaul, who makes friends with bugs to make up for his lack of human contact.

You remind me of my situation a bit.

You just stay strong. Try to talk with her often via online formats, and figure out how she feels just through her messages, because this will be how things are. You need to gauge her and know what to say on your side.

You will also need to know to hold your tongue at times.

You need to be stronger and better when she's having a tough time, because, let's face it: She can't handle it as well as you. That means, when it gets hard, you stand tall (metaphorically) and don't let it poison your communications with her because you know you can keep her in a better condition.

Best of luck, no matter what happens.

[Edited on 12.24.2012 5:17 AM PST]

  • 12.24.2012 5:16 AM PDT

Posted by: eggsalad
The more I say Chang the more asian it sounds.

Sure it'll work out. Just communicate with her best you can through text and skype.

For me on the other hand, it never really worked out the way we planned when we finally met...

  • 12.24.2012 5:22 AM PDT


Posted by: Carthurlane

...After 10 minutes I asked the same question and she responded with crying and possibly harming herself...


Um...maybe you should speak to actual real life people, and not The Flood if this is true...

  • 12.24.2012 5:23 AM PDT
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Foman is my favorite moderator. <3

Asking a girl what she would do if you broke up with her probably isn't the best conversation topic bro.

  • 12.24.2012 5:26 AM PDT

The world is full of mysteries, and shares too few of the answers required. An example of which, is how did I end up in the Brute Zone?

I've been in a long distance relationship for just over 3 years now (anniversary Oct 12th). We have always been in a long dsistance relationship compared to yourself where it will be a relationship that becomes long distance.

It is hard no doubt, you don't get to see each other, hug each other etc. Best piece of advice: Do not use texting as your sole method of contact. Texts can be misread too easily. IM services and Skype are excellent. Skype can let you talk to each other and video chat.

Otherwise, just always have a date to see each other arranged, it gives hope. My gf wasn't in the best of ways during our relationship, but consistent contact with her and support helped her get through that time.

It isn't easy, but if she is worth it, then do it. Half a year isn't the end of the world, but again, in review, Skype a lot, always try and keep some form of date arranged to give hope and a goal.

  • 12.24.2012 5:27 AM PDT

NON FACET NOBIS CALCITRARE VESTRUM PERNĒ¢UM

It's possible to maintain a long distance relationship, but it can be very trying at times. However, if she's worth it, you'll be able to figure out a way to make it work.

  • 12.24.2012 5:35 AM PDT

If you're a zombie and you know it, bite your friends.

The Flood Theory of Deterioration: q(p)=(qi)e^(-p/r)

Where q(p) is the quality of the thread as a function of p posts, (qi) is the inital quality of the first post, p is the amount of posts and r is the e-peen of the original poster.

I've done it before. I won't do it again. So I likely don't have any decent advice for you. Sorry about that. My, mostly pessimistic, answer is that they aren't worth it.

  • 12.24.2012 5:36 AM PDT

Evil, always finds a way!
Gnarl: Overlord

Dude it's only been 3 months, you'll get over it


Long distance relationships just don't work, i promise you

  • 12.24.2012 5:37 AM PDT
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Posted by: x Foman123 x
Posted by: jaythenerdkid
I definitely believe every wildly inflated claim ITT.

Weow kid, do you even lift?


Skype: au-simon

I was seeing a girl in march and she moved to Europe. We talked a lot while be was away. When she got back 9 months later, it felt like nothing had changed. I've got another gf now though so I couldn't go back to being intimate, but we got along as well as ever.

Just keep in touch.

  • 12.24.2012 5:38 AM PDT

Skype or Phone until you are old enough (I have no clue have old you are so) and when you have enough money go see her.

  • 12.24.2012 5:55 AM PDT

Country: United States.
State: Pennsylvania.
County: Warren.
I graduated from high school on June-11-2011. I'm 19 right now. I'm turning 20 in December. I like playing video games, and board games. I like reading Sci-Fi, and World War II novels, and what not.

"There is nothing better in the world than being better at a video game than someone else....oh wait"

Phone sex.

/thread

  • 12.24.2012 6:25 AM PDT
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How far away is she?

  • 12.24.2012 6:29 AM PDT

I used to be in a relationship very similar to yours. I always felt like I had to protect her. But then I came to the realization that anybody who is willing to self-harm needs professional help that you can't possibly provide. You have no responsibility to take care of her and you definitely should not let her guilt you into staying in a relationship with threats of self-harm.

  • 12.24.2012 6:32 AM PDT


Posted by: BerzerkCommando
Phone sex.

/thread

  • 12.24.2012 6:59 AM PDT
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Posted by: Ex0 Dante

Posted by: BerzerkCommando
Phone sex.

  • 12.24.2012 7:06 AM PDT
  •  | 
  • Fabled Legendary Member

Yeah... I'm that cool.
Robot Academy. Kinda sorta the best group on here.

They do, I can assure you that. I live in Europe and I'm in a relationship with a girl in the US. We've been together for over a half a year and met irl for the first time in November. It's working out great so far and we're both determined to make this work.

OP, use Skype, text and the likes to stay in touch all the time. Meet up as often as you can and send pictures/packages to each other.
Posted by: DeNniz101
Long distance relationships just don't work, i promise you

  • 12.24.2012 7:11 AM PDT

Been with my wife for 4 years. I just came back from a deployment on a carrier that went to the other side of the planet. First time we were appart for this long.

Now trust me when i say this. There is no pre-game, all encompasing method to knowing how to deal with a long distance relationship. It is a true learning experience. The only tools i can suggest to make it a little easier are email, phone, and skype. Use and abuse them. If anything it will teach you if your relationship is really worth having.

My advice is to approach this as a challange that you are eager to overcome. Don't look at it as doom and gloom but as something you are confident that will make your relationship stronger and look foward to proving you 2 can overcome it. I guaruntee if and when you get passed it, it will prove how strong your relationship is.

[Edited on 12.24.2012 7:25 AM PST]

  • 12.24.2012 7:24 AM PDT


Posted by: Carthurlane
So my girlfriend of 3 months (we knew each other for 1 1/2 years) is moving away to the city, and while I initially thought she was ready to move on apparently she is far from it.

First she asked me what would happen if she broke up with me, I said I would still care about her and deal with it, but I would still be hurt. After 10 minutes I asked the same question and she responded with crying and possibly harming herself...

I tried to make her promise not to do anything to hurt herself, she said she couldn't, but I did make her promise to at least try. I made it clear that I didn't want anything bad happening, I'm planning on moving in a half year's time to move in with her, but I'm afraid that things will be vastly different then what is right now.

So... I just need ideas to maintain a fulfilling relationship over long distances, and to have it to where my presence can still account for something while were away from each other. Any suggestions will be appreciated.

Chugga chugga coo coo! all aboard the crazy train!

  • 12.24.2012 7:44 AM PDT
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Drink... Drinking solves all of my problems.

  • 12.24.2012 7:45 AM PDT