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Subject: Scientific proof that Santa does not exist.

No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to the Population Reference Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 millions stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest an-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even
nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth Cunard Liner.

353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID exist, he's dead now. Merry Christmas everyone.

  • 12.25.2012 11:07 AM PDT
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Nice copy pasta

Santa's magic anyway so your entire OP is invalid. He doesn't follow any laws of physics.

[Edited on 12.25.2012 11:08 AM PST]

  • 12.25.2012 11:08 AM PDT
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Santa is the master of time and space.

  • 12.25.2012 11:08 AM PDT


Posted by: Aang the Avatar
Nice copy pasta



Thanks.

[Edited on 12.25.2012 11:08 AM PST]

  • 12.25.2012 11:08 AM PDT

Posted by: aBlueBookshelf
Goat was famous. Irie was infamous. Gh0st was FaMaS.

My stats in Halol 4

Typical Waypoint post.
no it's "its got to go" you wouldn't say the "it is got to go" would you?

Santa is magic you -blam!-.

  • 12.25.2012 11:09 AM PDT

There's a “U” and “I” in union but just an “I” in my beliefs

Batman because-- wait, wrong thread?

  • 12.25.2012 11:10 AM PDT

Thanks for wasting my life.

  • 12.25.2012 11:11 AM PDT

Don't LOL if you aren't L'inOL.

Halo: Reach
Halo 3
Halo ODST

Screw logic, Christmas is all about the magic.

  • 12.25.2012 11:11 AM PDT


Posted by: CaptainLyle
Thanks for wasting my life.



I didn't make you read it.

  • 12.25.2012 11:11 AM PDT

But Saint Nicholas was a real person.

  • 12.25.2012 11:11 AM PDT
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LeaveItYeah

You've officially ruined my Christmas OP.

I hope you're happy with yourself.

  • 12.25.2012 11:11 AM PDT


Posted by: Ulquiorra Cifer
But Saint Nicholas was a real person.


That is true.

  • 12.25.2012 11:12 AM PDT
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omg


christmas

RUIND!!@!

  • 12.25.2012 11:14 AM PDT

Studies show that men think about sex every 7 seconds. I do my best to eat hotdogs in under 6, just so things don't get weird.

Please allow me to introduce Myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith

Santa could be a quantum being that exists in a sort of hazy reality that allows him to be in more than one place at the same time. As for the cultures serviced, I wouldn't say that dervishes or Shiva doesn't exist because they are irrelevant to my culture.

Yes, Yes, I know Santa does not indeed exist. But you shouldn't be so quick to use science as though it explains everything. Any real thinking person would concede that there are more things inexplicable by science than there are things that are.

[Edited on 12.25.2012 11:18 AM PST]

  • 12.25.2012 11:16 AM PDT

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
- Dr. Seuss


Posted by: derka derka
You've officially ruined my Christmas OP.

I hope you're happy with yourself.

  • 12.25.2012 11:18 AM PDT

Check me out:
http://www.youtube.com/user/PhormalityMusic?feature=mhee

mfw
I think there's a Santy Claus. He will live on in our hearts.

  • 12.25.2012 11:19 AM PDT
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  • Fabled Mythic Member

R.I.P. DeathPimp. Never Ending Respect.

"Posted by: Kickimanjaro
I'm trying to become an '04, but it's not working too well."

Magic does not conform to the laws of science.

  • 12.25.2012 11:24 AM PDT

so you want a source?


try this

true story


Posted by: Murcielago00
Santa is the master of time and space.
the council granted him an exception.

  • 12.25.2012 11:24 AM PDT


Posted by: MyNameIsCharlie
Santa could be a quantum being that exists in a sort of hazy reality that allows him to be in more than one place at the same time. As for the cultures serviced, I wouldn't say that dervishes or Shiva doesn't exist because they are irrelevant to my culture.

Yes, Yes, I know Santa does not indeed exist. But you shouldn't be so quick to use science as though it explains everything. Any real thinking person would concede that there are more things inexplicable by science than there are things that are.


Tell that to the guy who wrote this.

[Edited on 12.25.2012 11:27 AM PST]

  • 12.25.2012 11:27 AM PDT
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  • Intrepid Legendary Member

I Love Lamp. And Ender's Game. Don't tell Lamp.

Invalid.

  • 12.25.2012 11:53 AM PDT

If we disagree, it's nothing personal, opinions are opinions.
Antagonizing me to build a false sense of worth is so damn cute.

Brighten your day with science.

He could exist in another universe.

  • 12.25.2012 11:57 AM PDT

3.5 children in each household?

  • 12.25.2012 1:18 PM PDT

Stupidity, when sufficiently advanced, is indistinguishable from magic

Posted by: Murcielago00
Santa is the master of time and space.
It was probably a poor choice to insult him.

  • 12.25.2012 1:19 PM PDT

Posted by:ScubaToaster
Posted by: HipiO7
This man, this man right here put it so eloquently that I actually cancelled my own 2000+ word long post.
/slow clap for respect


:)
The person who said participating is important, not winning, obviously never won anything.

Wait what if...

Santa is part of the W40k universe...

My god.

  • 12.25.2012 1:23 PM PDT

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