Off Topic: The Flood
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Subject: Girl problems... (wall of text)

In memory of those fallen in the defense of Earth and her colonies.

March 3, 2553


Posted by: Direxy
bang her or stop talking to her. next thread.


Oh flood you are so helpful!

  • 12.28.2012 8:18 PM PDT

What are these first person words you speak of?


Posted by: Xanarxses

Not at all.


Either you're an elaborate troll (6/10,) or you've never heard of google.

  • 12.28.2012 8:22 PM PDT
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  • Fabled Legendary Member

I'll be back tomorrow.

  • 12.28.2012 8:23 PM PDT
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Posted by: VitalHalofreak

Posted by: Xanarxses

Posted by: VitalHalofreak
Honestly? Let it go. The alternative would lead to some very bad things.

Wait... what's the alternative? And what bad things?
You tell me. What complications would arise if you didn't move past it and just be friends?

I don't really see anything too big happening if we continued on the same path. She barely talks to her ex but... now that she has encountered him after some time... that might change. I'm still... in doubt... we'll see how things go.

  • 12.28.2012 8:23 PM PDT
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Posted by: Teh puma

Posted by: Xanarxses

Not at all.


Either you're an elaborate troll (6/10,) or you've never heard of google.

dude like... wtf do I type in?

  • 12.28.2012 8:24 PM PDT

What are these first person words you speak of?


Posted by: Xanarxses

Posted by: Teh puma

Posted by: Xanarxses

Not at all.


Either you're an elaborate troll (6/10,) or you've never heard of google.

dude like... wtf do I type in?


dude like... what would you label a forum, if it gave advice for cars?

  • 12.28.2012 8:25 PM PDT

wut

Part ways. She's nothing but trouble and it's going to get worse as it goes on.

  • 12.28.2012 8:26 PM PDT
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Posted by: Teh puma

Posted by: Xanarxses

Posted by: Teh puma

Posted by: Xanarxses

Not at all.


Either you're an elaborate troll (6/10,) or you've never heard of google.

dude like... wtf do I type in?


dude like... what would you label a forum, if it gave advice for cars?

ok I get it but most of those forums are normally dead.

  • 12.28.2012 8:27 PM PDT

In memory of those fallen in the defense of Earth and her colonies.

March 3, 2553

I feel for you OP, these situations are difficuit to deal with. I would suggest talking to her friends, but I remember you saying that this wasnt possible.

I feel bro. I feel.

  • 12.28.2012 8:31 PM PDT

There just aren't enough moments in the day to rectify the wrongs of the past.

Why does the first part sound so familiar in a way...On topic though, you make it work. BTW OP message me what your name is i'm curious, then ill help with your problem.

  • 12.28.2012 8:31 PM PDT

Halo: CE Anniversary Achievement Idea
C-C-C-CANNON BREAKER!
Let Sgt. Johnson die on Halo.

OP, I did read it top to bottom for the record.

You seem to be in a very special case of the "Friends with Benefits Zone". Seriously though, she keeps saying that she doesn't want to hurt you, but obviously, she is already doing just that. If she knows you like her and still doesn't want anything, you have no choice but to move on.

Let's say all of a sudden, she wants a relationship. That's great. Who's to say that down the road, old feelings return to her, and she tried running back to her ex? You want to quit while you're ahead friend. I KNOW you won't like me suggesting this, but you need to cut all ties with her pronto. There's no way in hell you'll be able to get over her if you keep seeing her on a regular basis. Get out more with another group of your friends. Try to forget her. You gotta move on bud.

  • 12.28.2012 8:33 PM PDT
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Posted by: DTA MoonDawg
OP, I did read it top to bottom for the record.

You seem to be in a very special case of the "Friends with Benefits Zone". Seriously though, she keeps saying that she doesn't want to hurt you, but obviously, she is already doing just that. If she knows you like her and still doesn't want anything, you have no choice but to move on.

Let's say all of a sudden, she wants a relationship. That's great. Who's to say that down the road, old feelings return to her, and she tried running back to her ex? You want to quit while you're ahead friend. I KNOW you won't like me suggesting this, but you need to cut all ties with her pronto. There's no way in hell you'll be able to get over her if you keep seeing her on a regular basis. Get out more with another group of your friends. Try to forget her. You gotta move on bud.

Yeah that would be great if she wasn't my only friend.

  • 12.28.2012 8:36 PM PDT

What are these first person words you speak of?


Posted by: Xanarxses

Posted by: Teh puma

Posted by: Xanarxses

Posted by: Teh puma

Posted by: Xanarxses

Not at all.


Either you're an elaborate troll (6/10,) or you've never heard of google.

dude like... wtf do I type in?


dude like... what would you label a forum, if it gave advice for cars?

ok I get it but most of those forums are normally dead.


Says the man that doesn't even know how to search for them? Uh huh...

  • 12.28.2012 8:36 PM PDT
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Posted by: Teh puma

Posted by: Xanarxses

Posted by: Teh puma

Posted by: Xanarxses

dude like... wtf do I type in?


dude like... what would you label a forum, if it gave advice for cars?

ok I get it but most of those forums are normally dead.


Says the man that doesn't even know how to search for them? Uh huh...

Just did, some are dead. Some have impossible to make accounts.

  • 12.28.2012 8:37 PM PDT

What are these first person words you speak of?


Posted by: Xanarxses
most



Posted by: Xanarxses
some


Well that dropped rather quickly, didn't it?

  • 12.28.2012 8:38 PM PDT
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Posted by: AgileNaruto001
Why does the first part sound so familiar in a way...On topic though, you make it work. BTW OP message me what your name is i'm curious, then ill help with your problem.

why do you want to know my name? wtf man?

  • 12.28.2012 8:38 PM PDT

Halo: CE Anniversary Achievement Idea
C-C-C-CANNON BREAKER!
Let Sgt. Johnson die on Halo.

Posted by: Xanarxses

Posted by: DTA MoonDawg
OP, I did read it top to bottom for the record.

You seem to be in a very special case of the "Friends with Benefits Zone". Seriously though, she keeps saying that she doesn't want to hurt you, but obviously, she is already doing just that. If she knows you like her and still doesn't want anything, you have no choice but to move on.

Let's say all of a sudden, she wants a relationship. That's great. Who's to say that down the road, old feelings return to her, and she tried running back to her ex? You want to quit while you're ahead friend. I KNOW you won't like me suggesting this, but you need to cut all ties with her pronto. There's no way in hell you'll be able to get over her if you keep seeing her on a regular basis. Get out more with another group of your friends. Try to forget her. You gotta move on bud.

Yeah that would be great if she wasn't my only friend.


It sounds to me like you've latched onto her so tightly because you're not confident enough that you can find another girl to have feelings for. I was a bit like that in the past. You need to keep your head up and meet some new people in the world. Just strike up a conversation with some people at school. It's amazing how fast you can meet new people.

  • 12.28.2012 8:45 PM PDT

There just aren't enough moments in the day to rectify the wrongs of the past.


Posted by: Xanarxses

Posted by: AgileNaruto001
Why does the first part sound so familiar in a way...On topic though, you make it work. BTW OP message me what your name is i'm curious, then ill help with your problem.

why do you want to know my name? wtf man?

Just curious cause it could have something to do with someone i know, i myself prevented an ex from committing suicide.

  • 12.28.2012 8:46 PM PDT

Halo: CE Anniversary Achievement Idea
C-C-C-CANNON BREAKER!
Let Sgt. Johnson die on Halo.

Posted by: AgileNaruto001

Posted by: Xanarxses

Posted by: AgileNaruto001
Why does the first part sound so familiar in a way...On topic though, you make it work. BTW OP message me what your name is i'm curious, then ill help with your problem.

why do you want to know my name? wtf man?

Just curious cause it could have something to do with someone i know, i myself prevented an ex from committing suicide.


Could you even BEGIN to comprehend the irony?

  • 12.28.2012 8:50 PM PDT

There just aren't enough moments in the day to rectify the wrongs of the past.


Posted by: DTA MoonDawg
Posted by: AgileNaruto001

Posted by: Xanarxses

Posted by: AgileNaruto001
Why does the first part sound so familiar in a way...On topic though, you make it work. BTW OP message me what your name is i'm curious, then ill help with your problem.

why do you want to know my name? wtf man?

Just curious cause it could have something to do with someone i know, i myself prevented an ex from committing suicide.


Could you even BEGIN to comprehend the irony?

No not particularly, my mind is a little surprised right now.

  • 12.28.2012 8:52 PM PDT

....Her ex, he saved her from suicide...

And this is where I stopped reading and said "Bail".

The girl has her own demons, and you should be extremely cautious about getting into this girls life. If you decide to go forward, you better damn well know what you're doing. Otherwise, my advice is to bail. Go your separate ways and and find someone else. You're getting attached alarming quick...

  • 12.28.2012 9:08 PM PDT


Posted by: Xanarxses

Posted by: DTA MoonDawg
OP, I did read it top to bottom for the record.

You seem to be in a very special case of the "Friends with Benefits Zone". Seriously though, she keeps saying that she doesn't want to hurt you, but obviously, she is already doing just that. If she knows you like her and still doesn't want anything, you have no choice but to move on.

Let's say all of a sudden, she wants a relationship. That's great. Who's to say that down the road, old feelings return to her, and she tried running back to her ex? You want to quit while you're ahead friend. I KNOW you won't like me suggesting this, but you need to cut all ties with her pronto. There's no way in hell you'll be able to get over her if you keep seeing her on a regular basis. Get out more with another group of your friends. Try to forget her. You gotta move on bud.

Yeah that would be great if she wasn't my only friend.


You are making excuses to avoid doing what you should do, because you are afraid of being hurt.

You come here asking for advice, but really all you're doing psychologically is waiting for someone to suggest the course of action which you have already decided upon so that you will feel better about doing the wrong thing. Whereas if somebody suggests a proper course of action, which will in fact be contrary to what you WANT to do, you will make excuses or provide false/bent circumstances as to why you 'can't' (don't want to) do whatever is proposed.

for example, somebody suggested to stop contacting her, which is a very valid suggestion. it would be a very good course of action because it is obvious that the current situation is causing you mental anguish, enough so that you come here asking for advice and enough so that you are willing to not cooperate with a proper suggested course of action for fear of the pain such a course of action would cause upon you.

It is clear that you don't have many friends and are either a)inexperienced with women, b) desperate or c) unconfident (or a combination of the possibilities). Being as you don't have friends, she is the only friend you have, which is enough of a reason not to want to lose her. BUT on top of that she is a prospective -blam!- partner and because of that you latch onto her even more. If you had other friends you wouldn't be so obsessed with staying with her in the same sense that If you were confident in your ability to meet and attract other women you wouldn't be so desperate to keep her.

Because you have nobody else to turn to (friends/ the possibility of finding another girl) you cling to her desperateley even though you know that the situation is causing you stress and strife. This is unhealthy. whereas if you had friends you would hang out with them, in the same way that if you were decent at meeting other women you would focus your attention on them more instead of sticking to the girl that is causing you trouble.

The only way that we as human beings can grow is through pain, doing things that we do not want to do.

It is clear that you want a monogamous, faithful relationship with this girl and she is unwilling to accept and provide that for you, so why do you stick around? You stick around due to the reasons that I listed above. You are deluding yourself into thinking that things will change if you stay and justify your decisions with the occasional high you get form being with her physically. It is in this mindset unfortunateley that you ignore the more prominent lows that the situation you are in currently inflicts upon you. This in itself is unhealthy and will do you no good in the long run.

Your best course of action is to simply tell her that you want to be with her, just her, and her to be with you, just you, without the other guy in the picture. If she cannot offer this to you, then you shouldn't stay. I am afraid however that because you are afraid of the answer that you are already aware that she will give to you "I have feelings for both of you" (the fact that she will not just choose you) you will be a coward and either a) not ask/tell her or b) will tell her but will accept and stay with her even if she gives you an unfavorable answer, which would prove you to be a coward and an unconfident loser with no friends who cannot get another girl.

What you should do: lay down the line and tell her what you require to be together, if she cannot accept that then move on, nothing good will come of the situation no matter how badly you wish it to. if/when she gives you an unfavorable answer, cut off all contact. although she won't make it obvious, she will respect you for your decision and just might contact you in the near future with her decision to be with you. If she doesn't, then it will be ok because you have already moved on :)

  • 12.28.2012 9:34 PM PDT

I write poetry, I write short-stories, I listen to hip-hop (80s&90s), Reggae, Classic Rock n Roll, Heavy Metal, Jazz, Blues, and the 60s, 70s.

You said she 'thinks' she's in 'love', I can easily assume you're both teenagers, right?

Then, there is no love, just lust.
Sadly, you can't change her mind. I've seen this happen before, once with me, twice with friends, -blam!- don't change. You either gotta move on or bare the pain. Your choice, hopefully I'm wrong and you're a different case. I'd like you to be happy my friend, good luck.

  • 12.28.2012 9:41 PM PDT

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