- McNut117
- |
- Noble Heroic Member
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
I came across this old gem while looking through the files of my old hard drive. I found it rather funny, and I invite the Flood to poke fun at me for my horrible storytelling, spelling, and grammar.
It's rather long for a forum post, so skim and scan as you please.
One dark night Zach and Terry were walking their dog Roxy. It was 6:30 Eastern time. They were walking their dog at this time because they forgot to do it at 4:00 when they were supposed to. They were in the park, no one was there. They were walking slowly though, probably because it was Fall and in Fall it gets colder. Suddenly a beam of light appeared out of nowhere! It was hard to make out but Zach and Terry saw there dog being sucked up into a somewhat flying object! "Did you see a U.F.O.......because I saw a U.F.O" said Zach in a freaked out voice. " Ya I saw a U.F.O......that just sucked up our dog!" cried Terry. Zach and Terry were shocked! They've heard about aliens but they didn't believe they existed. They decided to tell there parents that Roxy was at Grandma's house. They ended up telling there Mom. Well.....her response was...."You lost Roxy!, WHY,WHY,why couldn't it be me! "Well technically we didn't lose her, she was abducted by aliens" said the boys. "Bad excuse, you both are grounded for life!, go to your room! "yelled their mom. Zach and Terry went to their room. "Grounded for life!!!". That hurts said Zack. "Ya emego lets put on our bad boy sombreros" Terry muttered to himself. How are we going to get out of this one? Asked Terry. Maybe we could jump out the window and live on the streets. We would be poor and people would give us money exclaimed Zach. "No, that's not going to work. How about we get in touch with those people who experiment with U.F.O.'s and use ice cream as alien mucus to prove it " said Terry. "It's worth a shot" said Zach. Zach and Terry tiptoed downstairs, Zach got the ice cream from the freezer and Terry took his dads cell phone. Zach and Terry tiptoed back upstairs. Terry dialed the fire department by accident . The voice on the other end said "Hello, is your house in danger of being burnt down well, we were . " Terry hung up the phone. The boys just laughed and laughed. "How about we text aliens to 911" said Zach. "ok" said Terry. Terry texted messaged aliens to 911. "We come in peace" said an unidentified man. "Aliens have abducted our dog and we have alien mucus to prove it so bring a U.F.O." said Terry really fast. "We'll come right away" said the unidentified man. "What do we need a U.F.O. for?" asked Zack. "We need a U.F.O. so we can fly into space and get Roxy back, said Terry.
Zack and Terry sat up in their room for about an hour while their mother continued yelling like crazy downstairs. "What seems to be taking so long" said Zach. "I don't know, maybe he is having trouble finding his way here" said Terry. He was actually there 5 seconds after the boys had called except that he landed at the neighbours house by mistake and started asking lots of questions. "Where was your dog abducted?, Where is the alien mucus?, Where is Zach and Terry Tompson" and so on. "Look there he is over there" said Zach pointing out the window. He's at the neighbours house. The boys started to wave to catch the man's attention. The man saw them waving and said to the neighbours "You didn't see anything, right?" "Right" said
Zach and Terry's neighbours nervously. The man then climbed up a pipe, opened the bedroom window and jumped in. "I better not hear you two sneaking out" yelled Zach and Terry's mom. "No mom" they yelled back.
"Hello, my name is Cobra Pooplah". "I work for the government and anyt`hing you may see or hear with me you are not to tell anyone ok, explained the man". "Ok" answered the boys. I need to ask you some questions. "Where and when was your dog abducted and what was the colour of the U.F.O?" asked Cobra Pooplah. "Park, 6:33 and grey" said the boys very fast. "good , ok now how could we get on the roof?" asked Cobra Pooplah. Zach and Terry looked at each other and smiled. The three of them took a secret passage in the closet and the next thing they knew was they were on the roof. They all climbed into a U.F.O. "Put on these space suits boys" said Cobra pooplah. They all climbed into the U.F.O , sat down and Cobra Pooplah started the ship. Zach said "10, 9 ......" "We're here" said Cobra Pooplah. "8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 and blastoff" Zach finished mumbling quietly to himself. "We need not to be seen" said Cobra Pooplah.
When they got into the Evil Alien Spaceport there was a big arrow sign that said on it "Dog named Roxy this way" Before they entered the room they each put on a plastic alien mask. They went in the room and picked Roxy up to take her back when an alien said "hey, where are you taking the mutt?" "Uhm" said Terry. "To the disecting room" said Cobra Pooplah. They headed back to the U.F.O. "Lets go", said Zach and the ship started to move. Back at the Evil Alien Spaceport the alien said "Wait a minute, there is no dissecting room , after them!". "Oh no, the aliens are coming after us" yelled the boys both at the same time. "Don't worry boys" said Cobra Pooplah. A laser gun appeared at the top of the ship and started shooting the aliens.
They finally made it back to earth. They did a TV broadcast world wide letting everyone know that aliens are set to invade and they need your help. The government handed out laser guns all over the world. The aliens came and shot lasers down at everyone but they were dodged. U.F.O.'s one after the other kept coming down because of the laser guns. While Zach and Terry were fighting for their lives and the world their mom came up to them and said, "Ah boys, I see you found the dog but that won't change anything". Their mom had turned into an alien. "I can't hurt my mom" cried Terry. "But I can" said Zach. Zach blasted his mom with the laser gun and the two watched as their mom melted away. "mommy" cried Terry. "Oh suck it up you big baby" said Zach. They had won the fight. They were victorious and the world returned to normal almost. "Zach and Terry meet your new mom" said Cobra Pooplah. "Hi my name is Nanny Mcfee, supercalafragalisticsuperalidoshish" Terry woke up. "Uh it was just a dream". "Zach, Zach I just had the most weirdest dream" said Terry. Zack turned over. "Ahhhhh!!!!! Terry screamed "Zach is a alien!!!!" Zach took of the mask. The boys laughed.
They lived happily ever afteruntilZach and Terry's dad turned into a goblin..
I am a literary genius.
[Edited on 12.29.2012 2:46 PM PST]