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  • Subject: Sadness
Subject: Sadness
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That's right. My plumage is brighter than yours.

No no, OP said to talk about sadness, and this is sadness, so you're fine! Plus, anyone can find help in anything--so you talking about it can def. still help out OP.

Posted by: xl OC Girl lx

Posted by: echo630
Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
Also, playing video games doesn't help. Back in the day when I would play Halo for like 6 hours a day, I didn't realize it at the time but looking back now, it was probably one of the most depressing time of my life. Upon selling my Xbox and never looking back, I now have a social life and feel so happy. I'm just saying, what you might think is helping you may be the cause of your sadness. It was for me.


I feel like I remember you from many years ago....

...and yes, I have to agree with OC. I quit playing XBox and watching a lot of TV around the beginning or second year of high school (I still had a WoW problem for a bit, but I pulled out of it fairly quickly). I started spending more time outdoors, cultivating friendships, improving upon myself. I read more, ran more, worked out more, dated more, worked more, and eventually I was a much happier, less "deluded" guy.

But really, it was when I gave up (or did my best to give up) being attached (to everything, to people, to the world, to my emotions, to who I thought I should be) that I truly felt...peaceful. I am now poorer than I have ever been in my entire life (and I was born into and raised in a poor family), yet I am quite serene. The universe is literally mind-boggling huge. The world itself holds so many wonders. Your mind is a fractal. The potential of the human being is limitless. I suggest exploring the world. Think of it as activating your latent self. Start engaging in activities you might have avoided before due to fear or shame or embarrassment. Challenge your body and mind. And eventually, realize that there is no "you" inside of your mind or body--you are without fixed self. That means that you can be anyone. You are always changing anyway, so don't be attached to who you have been or who you think you should be. Transform!

You probably do. I used to post here a whole hell of a lot haha.

You worded your post very well, and that made me think of something else. I was seriously addicted to gaming. For like two years, all I did was play video games. I didn't even have my first kiss or go on a date until I was 18 because of my lack of a social life before then. I know it sounds pathetic but it really was a bad time in my life. Kids are becoming obese from not seeing the light of day anymore. I missed out on a lot. I mean playing video games once in a while is fine, but I'm not sure I can believe that it can be someone's source of happiness in the long run.

I hope I'm not straying too far from the topic here, but at least it felt good to say that. I've kind of kept that to myself for a while.


I wish I could upvote comments! Your lack of hope in video games bringing lasting satisfaction is something that I share. I think they are an okay past-time...for some people...and they make a pretty cool career choice...for some people. And I don't like to differentiate too much, so I still believe that even while playing video game, you can reach what the Buddha calls "nirvana"...but it's much more difficult that way. Video games are distractions. They pull you out of this world and into another. What is worse, is you begin to care about that virtual world. You feel feel elated or numb when you are there, but anxious or sad when you're not. By using video games merely as a distraction from the real world's problems, you simply repress those thoughts, never giving them a chance to resolve naturally and healthily, and they eat you up till your guts spill out. "Get a social life, make friends, date? Forget it, I will play games and not think about it." "Get started on a career to better myself, help others, and fulfill my dreams? Forget it, I will level up my character." This is the kind of thinking that buries your problems--but your problems live on! They'll pursue you and undermine you unless you meet them face to face.

I have given up on fantasy worlds. They are mere escapes from and evasions of the truth. They allow me to ignore myself and my problems and my friends, but it isn't permanent by far.

Why does anyone want to grow fat in a chair? Why does anyone want to glue their eyes to a video game character all day? Why does anyone want to avoid the daylight like a bunch of vampires? Why does anyone want to miss out on life, with all its ups and downs, regardless of the dissatisfaction it may bring sometimes?

Why does anyone not want to extirpate that dissatisfaction from the root?

I missed out on a lot, too, OC, but I'm happy I realized early enough how anxious and depressed sitting in my room all day playing video games made me, how much it held me back. We're still so young. We have many years to rebound.

  • 12.31.2012 1:12 AM PDT
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Posted by: echo630
Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
What the hell are you two talking about?

Games are a source of entertainment that you can enjoy with friends or by yourself. Playing games are a source of happiness, and if you don't have a social life it's because you're not a social person, not because of videogames.

  • 12.31.2012 1:18 AM PDT

@trueunderdog

Chapter

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Furious George: The new -blam!-

Gaming can stimulate the pleasure centers of the brain but I would imagine that social activity and exercise can do more.

However, someone said it right when they said "different strokes for different folks," earlier. Also, gaming can be a social activity. Moreso today than it was years ago.

Evilcam put it best when he told me this a few years ago, "[gaming] is like a chatroom with a game running in the background."

[Edited on 12.31.2012 1:25 AM PST]

  • 12.31.2012 1:23 AM PDT
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That's right. My plumage is brighter than yours.


Posted by: challengerX

Posted by: echo630
Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
What the hell are you two talking about?

Games are a source of entertainment that you can enjoy with friends or by yourself. Playing games are a source of happiness, and if you don't have a social life it's because you're not a social person, not because of videogames.


I personally am talking about attachment to video games. That's different that just playing sometimes with yours friends. I believe OC is talking about video games not bringing any lasting happiness and being bad for your health--which also kind of implies being attached. Of course people can play video games casually, but they are just distractions, and they easily have all the effects mentioned above when coupled with attachment. We're talking about finding lasting satisfaction in life, not short term distractions. Gaming communities tend to fall apart. Guilds dissolve and float away. People quit playing WoW. Friends quit getting on Live. You may never see many of your online friends' faces in person before they move on with their lives and you never hear from them again.

And these aren't worst case scenarios, either. They are very common. And anyway, we are talking about our own personal feelings toward video games, as well; we're talking about or own experiences, and what we sometimes see in others, unless they are really balanced.

  • 12.31.2012 1:24 AM PDT


Posted by: challengerX

Posted by: echo630
Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
What the hell are you two talking about?

Games are a source of entertainment that you can enjoy with friends or by yourself. Playing games are a source of happiness, and if you don't have a social life it's because you're not a social person, not because of videogames.

That's what I thought too once. And I still regret it now.

Echo, we're completely on the same page here. Seeing as how we're on a video game forum I know most people will disagree but at least we have found our sources of happiness :)

  • 12.31.2012 1:26 AM PDT
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Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
Also, playing video games doesn't help. Back in the day when I would play Halo for like 6 hours a day, I didn't realize it at the time but looking back now, it was probably one of the most depressing time of my life. Upon selling my Xbox and never looking back, I now have a social life and feel so happy. I'm just saying, what you might think is helping you may be the cause of your sadness. It was for me.

/depressing rant. Sorry bout it.
But I don't wana sell my Xbox!

  • 12.31.2012 1:27 AM PDT
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Posted by: echo630

Posted by: challengerX

Posted by: echo630
Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
What the hell are you two talking about?

Games are a source of entertainment that you can enjoy with friends or by yourself. Playing games are a source of happiness, and if you don't have a social life it's because you're not a social person, not because of videogames.


I personally am talking about attachment to video games. That's different that just playing sometimes with yours friends. I believe OC is talking about video games not bringing any lasting happiness and being bad for your health--which also kind of implies being attached. Of course people can play video games casually, but they are just distractions, and they easily have all the effects mentioned above when coupled with attachment. We're talking about finding lasting satisfaction in life, not short term distractions. Gaming communities tend to fall apart. Guilds dissolve and float away. People quit playing WoW. Friends quit getting on Live. You may never see many of your online friends' faces in person before they move on with their lives and you never hear from them again.

And these aren't worst case scenarios, either. They are very common. And anyway, we are talking about our own personal feelings toward video games, as well; we're talking about or own experiences, and what we sometimes see in others, unless they are really balanced.

I play as much as I can when I have the time, and the kindest person I've ever met, I met on Xbox Live.

I don't know about you, but I'll always have fond memories of gaming.

  • 12.31.2012 1:28 AM PDT
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Posted by: True Underdog
Evilcam put it best when he told me this a few years ago, "[gaming] is like a chatroom with a game running in the background."

Very true.

There are times when I'm getting my ass kicked in a match, but I'm having a good time talking to a friend.

  • 12.31.2012 1:30 AM PDT
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That's right. My plumage is brighter than yours.


Posted by: xl OC Girl lx

Posted by: challengerX

Posted by: echo630
Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
What the hell are you two talking about?

Games are a source of entertainment that you can enjoy with friends or by yourself. Playing games are a source of happiness, and if you don't have a social life it's because you're not a social person, not because of videogames.

That's what I thought too once. And I still regret it now.

Echo, we're completely on the same page here. Seeing as how we're on a video game forum I know most people will disagree but at least we have found our sources of happiness :)


Yeah, well, we have aged on here a good few years, so I guess it's expected ;) one thing I still need to pull away from in order to start living more is my laptop...it makes a slight hypocrite out of me some nights. But I at least manage to keep away from Bungie but for once every three to six months nowadays!

Since we are indeed on the same page, I hope you continue to explore life and learn from it make the absolute best out of it. I am always trying to do the same :D

And don't get me wrong Challenger, I have had some fond times with video games indeed! I met and had some great friends on Halo, RS3: Black Arrow, and MechAssault for a while. But they eventually disappeared, and I had no one familiar to play with. I had never even really seen them before. They were just voices.

Of course, part of maturing is learning that EVERYTHING is impermanent, but video games just makes it more difficult to confront reality, I think. You can always find new friends, new guilds, new professions, and you never age, your character doesn't die forever, he doesn't get sick, he doesn't feel emotions himself.

As I said, you can reach enlightenment on a video game, but I believe it is very difficult. So so difficult.

[Edited on 12.31.2012 1:37 AM PST]

  • 12.31.2012 1:31 AM PDT

I think it's all about moderation. I, as well as many others, can have a hard time with that. I wasn't one of those people who could play for 30 min or an hour then turn off the tv. It was either I would play all day every day or I would have to get rid of my Xbox and not play at all.

Like all things in life--alcohol, ice cream, video games, etc--there's no harm if you do it in moderation. But don't find your happiness in these things. They are just sugarcoated evils.

  • 12.31.2012 1:31 AM PDT

@trueunderdog

Chapter

Narwhallace Smithington: Gone, but not forgotten. Never approve of anything lil guy. <3
Furious George: The new -blam!-

Don't talk about alcohol that way. :(

  • 12.31.2012 1:31 AM PDT

Yeah, when IFAPPED117HALO died. I was heartbroken.

  • 12.31.2012 1:32 AM PDT
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Posted by: xl OC Girl lx

Posted by: challengerX

Posted by: echo630
Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
What the hell are you two talking about?

Games are a source of entertainment that you can enjoy with friends or by yourself. Playing games are a source of happiness, and if you don't have a social life it's because you're not a social person, not because of videogames.

That's what I thought too once. And I still regret it now.

Echo, we're completely on the same page here. Seeing as how we're on a video game forum I know most people will disagree but at least we have found our sources of happiness :)

You're not understanding.

You weren't social as a person. Games had nothing to do with it. If anything, modern gaming online makes you a more social person.

  • 12.31.2012 1:32 AM PDT
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Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
I think it's all about moderation. I, as well as many others, can have a hard time with that. I wasn't one of those people who could play for 30 min or an hour then turn off the tv. It was either I would play all day every day or I would have to get rid of my Xbox and not play at all.

Like all things in life--alcohol, ice cream, video games, etc--there's no harm if you do it in moderation. But don't find your happiness in these things. They are just sugarcoated evils.

If you're just now having an epiphany about moderation, you do have some serious growing up to do.

  • 12.31.2012 1:34 AM PDT


Posted by: challengerX

Posted by: xl OC Girl lx

Posted by: challengerX

Posted by: echo630
Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
What the hell are you two talking about?

Games are a source of entertainment that you can enjoy with friends or by yourself. Playing games are a source of happiness, and if you don't have a social life it's because you're not a social person, not because of videogames.

That's what I thought too once. And I still regret it now.

Echo, we're completely on the same page here. Seeing as how we're on a video game forum I know most people will disagree but at least we have found our sources of happiness :)

You're not understanding.

You weren't social as a person. Games had nothing to do with it. If anything, modern gaming online makes you a more social person.

I disagree. I'm a very social person, I just never knew it because I didn't give myself a chance. And I also disagree about video games making you more social. I mean maybe if you're going to a friend's house and a bunch of your friends are all playing video games together for a bit, then okay. But online friends are not the same as real life friends. The reasons should be obvious.

  • 12.31.2012 1:36 AM PDT
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Sigs just aren't what they used to be.

Yea, I know that feel. If you notice it becoming a pattern I suggest seeing someone. You can only ever improve from it.

  • 12.31.2012 1:40 AM PDT


Posted by: challengerX

Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
I think it's all about moderation. I, as well as many others, can have a hard time with that. I wasn't one of those people who could play for 30 min or an hour then turn off the tv. It was either I would play all day every day or I would have to get rid of my Xbox and not play at all.

Like all things in life--alcohol, ice cream, video games, etc--there's no harm if you do it in moderation. But don't find your happiness in these things. They are just sugarcoated evils.

If you're just now having an epiphany about moderation, you do have some serious growing up to do.

Um... no. I realized this when I gave up gaming like 4 or 5 years ago, however long it's been. I just continue to stick to my opinion about playing video games in moderation.

Like I said, if you can limit yourself to playing video games as a once in a while pastime thing, then good for you. I couldn't, and I would even go so far as to say most people cannot. Therefore I gave it up completely and have been the happiest I've ever been. To each their own. My point was to not let these things control your life.

  • 12.31.2012 1:40 AM PDT
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Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
I disagree. I'm a very social person, I just never knew it because I didn't give myself a chance. And I also disagree about video games making you more social. I mean maybe if you're going to a friend's house and a bunch of your friends are all playing video games together for a bit, then okay. But online friends are not the same as real life friends. The reasons should be obvious.

Friendship is friendship. Just because you can't see them, it doesn't mean they aren't real people.

And if you're playing games, and not making friends offline or online, it's because you were not a social person, or you were afraid to.

Your Xbox wasn't tying you to the chair, you were obssesively playing.

This is what I'm trying to say, you make your choices in life.

  • 12.31.2012 1:41 AM PDT
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That's right. My plumage is brighter than yours.


Posted by: challengerX

Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
I think it's all about moderation. I, as well as many others, can have a hard time with that. I wasn't one of those people who could play for 30 min or an hour then turn off the tv. It was either I would play all day every day or I would have to get rid of my Xbox and not play at all.

Like all things in life--alcohol, ice cream, video games, etc--there's no harm if you do it in moderation. But don't find your happiness in these things. They are just sugarcoated evils.

If you're just now having an epiphany about moderation, you do have some serious growing up to do.


Woah now, I don't think she said anything about just now having that epiphany, but that she realized it years ago.

I think you're arguing for things that, to an extent, we agree with. Moderation is key. Getting outside and having real friends, those things are key. But they become dangerous, easily.

  • 12.31.2012 1:41 AM PDT
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Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
My point was to not let these things control your life.

Nothing is controlling your life, you are. If you have an addiction to gaming, it's because you choose to, consciously or not.

  • 12.31.2012 1:43 AM PDT
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That's right. My plumage is brighter than yours.


Posted by: challengerX

Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
My point was to not let these things control your life.

Nothing is controlling your life, you are. If you have an addiction to gaming, it's because you choose to, consciously or not.


Come on, she's not saying that video games LITERALLY control your life by FORCING you to keep playing. It is a figurative expression. You're arguing weak semantics.

[Edited on 12.31.2012 1:44 AM PST]

  • 12.31.2012 1:44 AM PDT
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Posted by: echo630

Posted by: challengerX

Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
My point was to not let these things control your life.

Nothing is controlling your life, you are. If you have an addiction to gaming, it's because you choose to, consciously or not.


Come on, she's not saying that video games LITERALLY control your life by FORCING you to keep playing. It is a figurative expression. You're arguing weak semantics.

It's these figurative expressions people use to give themselves the feeling they are the victim.

[Edited on 12.31.2012 1:46 AM PST]

  • 12.31.2012 1:46 AM PDT


Posted by: challengerX

Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
I disagree. I'm a very social person, I just never knew it because I didn't give myself a chance. And I also disagree about video games making you more social. I mean maybe if you're going to a friend's house and a bunch of your friends are all playing video games together for a bit, then okay. But online friends are not the same as real life friends. The reasons should be obvious.

Friendship is friendship. Just because you can't see them, it doesn't mean they aren't real people.

And if you're playing games, and not making friends offline or online, it's because you were not a social person, or you were afraid to.

Your Xbox wasn't tying you to the chair, you were obssesively playing.

This is what I'm trying to say, you make your choices in life.

I didn't say online friends aren't friends, I said they're not the same as real life friends. I still talk to people on Facebook that I played XBL with years and years ago, and I have a penpal in Australia that I've known for about 12 years now.

But these friends are not the same as my real life friends. I can never go and get coffee with these people, hug them, see them, etc. These friends can't just come drive to your house and hang out with you. They can never be there for you like real life friends.

And I mean, God forbid there was a power outage. Where are your friends now?

  • 12.31.2012 1:46 AM PDT


Posted by: challengerX

Posted by: echo630

Posted by: challengerX

Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
My point was to not let these things control your life.

Nothing is controlling your life, you are. If you have an addiction to gaming, it's because you choose to, consciously or not.


Come on, she's not saying that video games LITERALLY control your life by FORCING you to keep playing. It is a figurative expression. You're arguing weak semantics.

It's these figurative expressions people use to give themselves the feeling they are the victim.

A victim? No one claimed to be a victim here. I am well aware of the fact that I made my own decisions and paid the price for them. I have admitted that several times now. Not sure where that comment came from.

  • 12.31.2012 1:49 AM PDT
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That's right. My plumage is brighter than yours.

Posted by: challengerX

Posted by: echo630

Posted by: challengerX

Posted by: xl OC Girl lx
My point was to not let these things control your life.

Nothing is controlling your life, you are. If you have an addiction to gaming, it's because you choose to, consciously or not.


Come on, she's not saying that video games LITERALLY control your life by FORCING you to keep playing. It is a figurative expression. You're arguing weak semantics.

It's these figurative expressions people use to give themselves the feeling they are the victim.


I also don't believe that anyone here is playing the victim. We've taken responsibility for our actions and we have decided to grow from them. We also realize that other people never rise to the occasion; they let themselves be sucked in because it is mind-numbing and (unless there is a power outage or some kind of disaster) the video games are always there for you, whether friends are online or not.

  • 12.31.2012 1:49 AM PDT