Off Topic: The Flood
This topic has moved here: Subject: My Guide to Becoming Immortal
  • Subject: My Guide to Becoming Immortal
Subject: My Guide to Becoming Immortal

Ignore my gamertag. It's actually Dragonzzilla.

It's actually real simple, achieving immortality. It really is... yet, people have spent their lives looking for a way to become immortal. Sure, biological immortality for humans is still a while's way but right here, as of this very moment, you can become immortal. Indulge me will you, while I give a thoughtful analogy.

Everyone goes to the School of Reality... everyone. As long as you can remember, you've been enrolled at the School and as you grow older, the higher grades you go into and once you reach a limit, you leave the School. Now, no one knows what it's like outside the school because everyone whose gone outside has never come back in. Even if they have, you wouldn't know because the School is just absolutely that huge.

Everyone knows the coolest guy in the School is a guy called Life. You see, Life has been around the School forever but somehow, he still maintains his extreme popularity. Life is everyone's friend and everyone wants to be with him since he maintains a book called History -a roster he constantly updates that contains the coolest, fastest, etc. people he's ever met. But since he's only just one guy, he can only pay attention to so many people, can only remember so many people and has to make edits and revisions to make room in the book.

Some of you want to get in that book. But Life... he's a hard guy to draw out. He's constantly going around the School in all of his vast glory and has other people swarming him all the time. He's gotten use to his ever-present crowd so he only pays attention to the people that really get his attention. You know that the Book contains entries that were written thousands of years ago and they're still there! Because Life thought they were that awesome!

The only way to get Life's attention is to grab him by the balls as hard as you can and start screaming into his ear. Sure, you might get expelled from the School but Life has a long memory and he admires bravery. Life would respect how much bravery it would take to get his attention and depending on how much you prove yourself, the more likely he's going to pay attention. The harder you hold on and the harder you scream, the longer you're going to leave your mark on Life. And because Life knows everybody, everybody will know you. Years after you're gone, people may still remember you but it takes a real badass to be not forgotten.

So there is my tip to life; that is my suggestion for immortality. Be spectacular while you can because Lord knows when you'll get a second chance. This is Dragonzilla, signing off.

[Edited on 12.31.2012 6:42 PM PST]

  • 12.31.2012 6:40 PM PDT
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I aim to please.

Or you could die like a normal person.

  • 12.31.2012 6:41 PM PDT

All I got from that post was that I have to grab balls...

  • 12.31.2012 6:42 PM PDT

Ignore my gamertag. It's actually Dragonzzilla.

Posted by: AV4T4RG4R
All I got from that post was that I have to grab balls...
That is unfortunate.

  • 12.31.2012 6:44 PM PDT

Quote from Confucius

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.

I thought we were talking about living immortality but your post works too.

  • 12.31.2012 6:46 PM PDT

Guide to immortality : Sleep with Life

I had a pretty big time thread once.

Here's me bragging about it.

Wait....so you're saying I have to sleep with Life?

  • 12.31.2012 6:49 PM PDT

Ignore my gamertag. It's actually Dragonzzilla.

Posted by: GoldenEagle29
Wait... so you're saying I have to sleep with Life?
Sleep, beat, talking... anything works.

  • 12.31.2012 6:50 PM PDT

-5/10. I hope you don't expect me to read that.

  • 12.31.2012 6:52 PM PDT
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Life is a training exercise.

  • 12.31.2012 6:52 PM PDT

Ignore my gamertag. It's actually Dragonzzilla.

Posted by: Ex0 Dante
-5/10. I hope you don't expect me to read that.
What we have here, Folks, is a perfect example of the pandemic currently plaguing the Internet. Some people think it's waaaaaaaay too much work to read anything more than four sentences long and just like that, cohesive and detailed explanations are thrown right out the window. Thanks, OP... for spreading your foul influence.

  • 12.31.2012 6:56 PM PDT

I am the God Emprah of Mankind.

Deal with it.


Posted by: Dragonzzilla
Posted by: Ex0 Dante
-5/10. I hope you don't expect me to read that.
What we have here, Folks, is a perfect example of the pandemic currently plaguing the Internet. Some people think it's waaaaaaaay too much work to read anything more than four sentences long and just like that, cohesive and detailed explanations are thrown right out the window. Thanks, OP... for spreading your foul influence.

Be easy on the guy. If everyone were so willing and open as us, then you wouldn't be that special.

  • 12.31.2012 6:59 PM PDT

"Halo! Its divine wind will rush through the stars, propelling all who are worthy along the path to salvation."

Immortality cannot be achived by mere mortals, one must proof their worth and die in battle to seat at Odin's side in Valhalla and become...immortal.

[Edited on 12.31.2012 7:02 PM PST]

  • 12.31.2012 7:01 PM PDT

Ima Bee

im not reading all that.

  • 12.31.2012 7:11 PM PDT
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Posted by: XRevelationX
Or you could die like a normal person.

  • 12.31.2012 7:12 PM PDT

I also have a guide: Don't die.

HP>0=Win.

I have followed this plan all my life and I haven't died yet.

  • 12.31.2012 7:12 PM PDT

''Hell is other people.''

I didn't bother to read the Guide. So...I guess I'm not going to be Immortal now?

  • 12.31.2012 7:12 PM PDT
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Posted by: Telec
Remember kids: when Uncle Delta tells you he has sweeties, he isn't lying.

Now get in the van.


The Black Chapter

Blow up the moon. Its bits will last for billions of years and you were the one that made them.

  • 12.31.2012 7:13 PM PDT

I am the God Emprah of Mankind.

Deal with it.

Darn, why are all the useful and interesting topics dieing?

Why doesn't anyone want to carry on debate about things that will change life?

  • 12.31.2012 7:13 PM PDT

"Each event is proceded by Prophecy. But without the hero, there is no event."-Zurin Arctus The Underking

Just get all the Ascension Crystals. Much easier.
Cookie for reference.

  • 12.31.2012 7:14 PM PDT

More awesome than a shark high-fiving a bear during an explosion...IN SPACE.

Wrong. To gain immortality, you go to a wishing well and wish to die out loud. Since you said it out loud, the wish will not come true, so you'll never die.

  • 12.31.2012 7:16 PM PDT