Off Topic: The Flood
This topic has moved here: Subject: The OP's Story.
  • Subject: The OP's Story.
Subject: The OP's Story.

Inheritor #765 :D

Internets Awarded: +5
Approves: +8
Bans: 13

It all started when our cliche, protagonistic figure, OP, woke up in a secret vineyard. It was the sixth time it had happened. Feeling barely concerned, OP attacked a dangerous oil-soaked rag, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Duly ecstatic about the looming crises, he realized that his beloved iFlood was missing! Immediately he called his so-called best friend, Recon Number 54. OP had known Recon Number 54 for (plus or minus) one million years, the majority of which were exotic ones. Recon Number 54 was unique. He was ingenious though sometimes a little... pestering. OP called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Recon Number 54 picked up to a very angry OP. Recon Number 54 calmly assured him that most 3-legged wallabies grimace before mating, yet long-haired sea monkeys usually scandalously sigh *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting OP. Why was Recon Number 54 trying to distract OP? Because he had snuck out from OP's with the iFlood only seven days prior. It was a eccentric little iFlood... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before OP got back to the subject at hand: his iFlood. Recon Number 54 cringed. Relunctantly, Recon Number 54 invited him over, assuring him they'd find the iFlood. OP grabbed his whale and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Recon Number 54 realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the iFlood and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if OP took the tricked out go kart, he had take at least ten minutes before OP would get there. But if he took the The Floodmobile ? Then Recon Number 54 would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Recon Number 54 was interrupted by five oafish OP's Cats that were lured by his iFlood. Recon Number 54 yawned; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling displeased, he thoughtfully reached for his ninja star and carefully backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the imaginery desert, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the The Floodmobile rolling up. It was OP.

Chapter 2

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Big Lots to pick up a 12-pack of live hand grenades, so he knew he was running late. With a heroic leap, OP was out of the The Floodmobile and went exotically jaunting toward Recon Number 54's front door. Meanwhile inside, Recon Number 54 was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the iFlood into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his hammock. Recon Number 54 was stunned but at least the iFlood was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Recon Number 54 explosively purred. With a heroic push, OP opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some abrasive flaming idiot in a neighborhood-terrorizing crotch rocket,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Recon Number 54 assured him. OP took a seat right next to where Recon Number 54 had hidden the iFlood. Recon Number 54 grimaced trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But OP was distracted. Like a drunken sailor at happy hour, Recon Number 54 noticed a insensitive look on OP's face. OP slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Recon Number 54 felt a stabbing pain in his scalp when OP asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the iFlood right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on OP's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's live hand grenades from when she used to have pet Indonesian devil cats. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. OP nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Recon Number 54 could react, OP fearlessly lunged toward the box and opened it. The iFlood was plainly in view.

OP stared at Recon Number 54 for what what must've been eight nanoseconds. Heart filled with earnest fortitude, Recon Number 54 groped exotically in OP's direction, clearly desperate. OP grabbed the iFlood and bolted for the door. It was locked. Recon Number 54 let out a eccentric chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, OP,' he rebuked. Recon Number 54 always had been a little funny-smelling, so OP knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Recon Number 54 did something crazy, like... start chucking wolverines at him or something. Before anyone could take off their pants, he gripped his iFlood tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Recon Number 54 looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from OP. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame eleven days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for OP. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Recon Number 54 walked over to the window and looked down. OP was gone.

Chapter 3

Just yonder, OP was struggling to make his way through the magical cornfield behind Recon Number 54's place. OP had severely hurt his kidney during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral OP's Cats suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the iFlood. One by one they latched on to OP. Already weakened from his injury, OP yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of OP's Cats running off with his iFlood.

About ten hours later, OP awoke, his double chin throbbing. It was dark and OP did not know where he was. Deep in the arid fanstic pumpkin patch, OP was ridiculously lost. Unaware of the bleakness of existence, he remembered that his iFlood was taken by the OP's Cats. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a huge OP's Cat emerged from the imaginery desert. It was the alpha OP's Cat. OP opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the OP's Cat sunk its teeth into OP's fingernail. With a faint groan, the life escaped from OP's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.

Less than ten miles away, Recon Number 54 was entombed by anguish over the loss of the iFlood. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened live hand grenade. With a skillful thrust, he buried it deeply into his shin. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about OP... wishing he had found the courage to tell him that he loved him. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the iFlood that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant OP's Cats, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(
Nevar forget.


My story of me sucks i know...

  • 01.01.2013 11:14 AM PDT

Gamertag: KoB Kuro Yakobi

Im a anime fan. If you every need a anime recommendation just PM me. Currently watched over 280 anime.

Only think I got out of that was I need to watch MOAR ANIMU.

  • 01.01.2013 11:14 AM PDT

signatures are for fa- wait

tl;dr version plox

  • 01.01.2013 11:17 AM PDT

Country: United States.
State: Pennsylvania.
County: Warren.
I graduated from high school on June-11-2011. I'm 19 right now. I'm turning 20 in December. I like playing video games, and board games. I like reading Sci-Fi, and World War II novels, and what not.

"There is nothing better in the world than being better at a video game than someone else....oh wait"

Posted by: fenlon
Now this is the story all about how
my life got flipped, turned upside down.
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there.
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-air.

In west Philadelphia born and raised
on the playground where I spent most of my days.
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
and all shooting some b-ball outside of the school.
When a couple of guys, they were up to no good
started making trouble in my neighbourhood.
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
and said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-air."

I whistled for a cab and when it came near. The
License plate said "fresh" and had a dice in the mirror.
If anything I could say that this cab was rare,
but I thought nah, forget it, yo homes to Bel-air!

I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
and I yelled to the cabby "Yo, homes smell you later!"
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there.
To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-air.

That was some major spelling error I fixed for you OP.

  • 01.01.2013 11:19 AM PDT
  • gamertag: ossku
  • user homepage:

''Misanthropes have some admirable if paradoxical virtues. It is no exaggeration to say that we are among the nicest people you are likely to meet. Because good manners build sturdy walls, our distaste for intimacy makes us exceedingly cordial "ships that pass in the night." As long as you remain a stranger we will be your friend forever.''

''I want people to be sincere; a man of honor shouldn't speak a single word that doesn't come straight from his heart. ''


Posted by: jacobwseibers
need to watch MOAR ANIMU.

Damn right.

  • 01.01.2013 11:19 AM PDT

Yeah, I'm not reading all that

  • 01.01.2013 11:19 AM PDT

Gamertag: KoB Kuro Yakobi

Im a anime fan. If you every need a anime recommendation just PM me. Currently watched over 280 anime.


Posted by: ossku

Posted by: jacobwseibers
need to watch MOAR ANIMU.

Damn right.

So we both agree.

  • 01.01.2013 11:20 AM PDT

I am the God Emprah of Mankind.

Deal with it.

Thread saved for a time when I have more patience and time to waste.

Hope Recon manages to free the Narwhal army to stop the Unicorn uprising.

  • 01.01.2013 11:22 AM PDT

Inheritor #765 :D

Internets Awarded: +5
Approves: +8
Bans: 13

Currently working on Part two on this story.

OP's REVENGE with his army of ninja monkeys.

  • 01.01.2013 11:34 AM PDT

I prefer the 4chan green text format.

  • 01.01.2013 11:57 AM PDT

Did I really just read all of that? Wow.

  • 01.01.2013 11:59 AM PDT


Posted by: V3RN6T0R
I prefer the 4chan green text format.


Lol the only reason that was made was for people with no attention span.
You are better than that.

  • 01.01.2013 12:00 PM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

Genabis, Exobus, Levitibus.

~Greensleeves.


Posted by: fenlon
It all started when our cliche, protagonistic figure, OP, woke up in a secret vineyard. It was the sixth time it had happened. Feeling barely concerned, OP attacked a dangerous oil-soaked rag, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Duly ecstatic about the looming crises, he realized that his beloved iFlood was missing! Immediately he called his so-called best friend, Recon Number 54. OP had known Recon Number 54 for (plus or minus) one million years, the majority of which were exotic ones. Recon Number 54 was unique. He was ingenious though sometimes a little... pestering. OP called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Recon Number 54 picked up to a very angry OP. Recon Number 54 calmly assured him that most 3-legged wallabies grimace before mating, yet long-haired sea monkeys usually scandalously sigh *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting OP. Why was Recon Number 54 trying to distract OP? Because he had snuck out from OP's with the iFlood only seven days prior. It was a eccentric little iFlood... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before OP got back to the subject at hand: his iFlood. Recon Number 54 cringed. Relunctantly, Recon Number 54 invited him over, assuring him they'd find the iFlood. OP grabbed his whale and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Recon Number 54 realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the iFlood and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if OP took the tricked out go kart, he had take at least ten minutes before OP would get there. But if he took the The Floodmobile ? Then Recon Number 54 would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Recon Number 54 was interrupted by five oafish OP's Cats that were lured by his iFlood. Recon Number 54 yawned; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling displeased, he thoughtfully reached for his ninja star and carefully backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the imaginery desert, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the The Floodmobile rolling up. It was OP.

Chapter 2

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Big Lots to pick up a 12-pack of live hand grenades, so he knew he was running late. With a heroic leap, OP was out of the The Floodmobile and went exotically jaunting toward Recon Number 54's front door. Meanwhile inside, Recon Number 54 was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the iFlood into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his hammock. Recon Number 54 was stunned but at least the iFlood was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Recon Number 54 explosively purred. With a heroic push, OP opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some abrasive flaming idiot in a neighborhood-terrorizing crotch rocket,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Recon Number 54 assured him. OP took a seat right next to where Recon Number 54 had hidden the iFlood. Recon Number 54 grimaced trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But OP was distracted. Like a drunken sailor at happy hour, Recon Number 54 noticed a insensitive look on OP's face. OP slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Recon Number 54 felt a stabbing pain in his scalp when OP asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the iFlood right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on OP's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's live hand grenades from when she used to have pet Indonesian devil cats. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. OP nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Recon Number 54 could react, OP fearlessly lunged toward the box and opened it. The iFlood was plainly in view.

OP stared at Recon Number 54 for what what must've been eight nanoseconds. Heart filled with earnest fortitude, Recon Number 54 groped exotically in OP's direction, clearly desperate. OP grabbed the iFlood and bolted for the door. It was locked. Recon Number 54 let out a eccentric chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, OP,' he rebuked. Recon Number 54 always had been a little funny-smelling, so OP knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Recon Number 54 did something crazy, like... start chucking wolverines at him or something. Before anyone could take off their pants, he gripped his iFlood tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Recon Number 54 looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from OP. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame eleven days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for OP. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Recon Number 54 walked over to the window and looked down. OP was gone.

Chapter 3

Just yonder, OP was struggling to make his way through the magical cornfield behind Recon Number 54's place. OP had severely hurt his kidney during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral OP's Cats suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the iFlood. One by one they latched on to OP. Already weakened from his injury, OP yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of OP's Cats running off with his iFlood.

About ten hours later, OP awoke, his double chin throbbing. It was dark and OP did not know where he was. Deep in the arid fanstic pumpkin patch, OP was ridiculously lost. Unaware of the bleakness of existence, he remembered that his iFlood was taken by the OP's Cats. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a huge OP's Cat emerged from the imaginery desert. It was the alpha OP's Cat. OP opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the OP's Cat sunk its teeth into OP's fingernail. With a faint groan, the life escaped from OP's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.

Less than ten miles away, Recon Number 54 was entombed by anguish over the loss of the iFlood. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened live hand grenade. With a skillful thrust, he buried it deeply into his shin. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about OP... wishing he had found the courage to tell him that he loved him. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the iFlood that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant OP's Cats, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(
Nevar forget.


My story of me sucks i know...

  • 01.01.2013 12:02 PM PDT
  •  | 
  • Legendary Member


Posted by: jacobwseibers

Posted by: ossku

Posted by: jacobwseibers
need to watch MOAR ANIMU.

Damn right.

So we both agree.


I third that.

  • 01.01.2013 12:03 PM PDT

Ok I'm saving this.

  • 01.01.2013 12:06 PM PDT