- EYEd0ntC4R3
- |
- Noble Member
So I wrote a song, and I am terrible at judging anything of my own, so I was wondering if you guys could pitch in some constructive criticism. I can't really sing it for you or anything, so you won't be able to judge to song overall, but here are the lyrics. It's supposed to be a heavy rock/light metal song
Whip out the red lighter
Whack it for the fire
Bring it up
To the spark
Get a little brighter
Goin' in, sinkin' in
Look it's disappeared within'
Waiting now
What the hell
Don't be disappointin'
(Explosive drum solo)
{CHORUS} (I'm really unsatisfied with this, so I think I'm going to change it, but here's the current version)
{Boom boom boom boom}
{Look now there it goes}
{Boom boom boom boom}
{Screaming as it blows}
{Boom boom boom boom}
Damn, its out of control!
Insert guitar solo
Off the street, on the lawn
The flame is spreading on and on
Grab the hose
Hope it goes
The house just got its flame on
George the neighbor came out first
Saw that everything had burst
911!
911!
Get someone to end its thirst
{CHORUS}
Now here comes that firetruck
Piano riff
Men in red come rushing out
Spray the fire with their spout
House a'steamin'
Neighbors screamin'
Looks like I am heain' out
Police scream to stop right there
Hah, -blam!- please as if I care
Push me up
To their truck
With a gun up in my hair
Now I'm sitting in prison
With a surprise deep within
Pull it out
Create a route
Only need to pull the pin
Explosive combination of instruments
{CHORUS}
small piano riff to close up the song