Off Topic: The Flood
This topic has moved here: Subject: Judge my song?
  • Subject: Judge my song?
Subject: Judge my song?

So I wrote a song, and I am terrible at judging anything of my own, so I was wondering if you guys could pitch in some constructive criticism. I can't really sing it for you or anything, so you won't be able to judge to song overall, but here are the lyrics. It's supposed to be a heavy rock/light metal song

Whip out the red lighter
Whack it for the fire
Bring it up
To the spark
Get a little brighter

Goin' in, sinkin' in
Look it's disappeared within'
Waiting now
What the hell
Don't be disappointin'

(Explosive drum solo)

{CHORUS} (I'm really unsatisfied with this, so I think I'm going to change it, but here's the current version)

{Boom boom boom boom}
{Look now there it goes}
{Boom boom boom boom}
{Screaming as it blows}
{Boom boom boom boom}
Damn, its out of control!

Insert guitar solo

Off the street, on the lawn
The flame is spreading on and on
Grab the hose
Hope it goes
The house just got its flame on

George the neighbor came out first
Saw that everything had burst
911!
911!
Get someone to end its thirst

{CHORUS}
Now here comes that firetruck

Piano riff

Men in red come rushing out
Spray the fire with their spout
House a'steamin'
Neighbors screamin'
Looks like I am heain' out

Police scream to stop right there
Hah, -blam!- please as if I care
Push me up
To their truck
With a gun up in my hair

Now I'm sitting in prison
With a surprise deep within
Pull it out
Create a route
Only need to pull the pin

Explosive combination of instruments

{CHORUS}

small piano riff to close up the song

  • 01.04.2013 3:47 AM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

I wrote a song too:

WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB

WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB

WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB

DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM

WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB

WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB

CZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

  • 01.04.2013 3:50 AM PDT
  • gamertag: ankerd
  • user homepage:

Bringing in Fikst. Bringing back lmao.
Inheritor # 475 world,

#6 In the Country.

Halocharts.com


Posted by: trolling69
I wrote a song too:

WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB

WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB

WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB

DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM

WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB

WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB

CZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT


I love it.

  • 01.04.2013 3:52 AM PDT


Posted by: trolling69
I wrote a song too:

WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB

WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB

WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB

DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM

WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB

WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB

CZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT


Oh man I loved that part where it goes WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB

  • 01.04.2013 3:55 AM PDT

I wrote a rap:


Yo homies I got so many hoes and -blam!-
I get so high 'till mah heart gets hit
My -blam!-es all love me, just for who I am
My father bought his weed from Vietnam!

I get laid twice a day by mah favourite -blam!-es yo
They suck mah -blam!- breakfast, nose lunch and at dinner mah toez
I go downtown to shoot 'em up at da bank cus I need mo money
The person most proud of me is mah vereh own mummy!

I just wanna be a normal folk but I know dat can't happen
I smoke so much weed and I just can't stahp fappin!
I get mah hoes to do it for meh, I'm too coo' to do this -blam!-
With mah future wife I can't wait to lick her -blam!-!


YO WUB WUB -blam!-S!

  • 01.04.2013 4:15 AM PDT