Off Topic: The Flood
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  • Subject: How to Fix the Call of Duty Campaigns
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Subject: How to Fix the Call of Duty Campaigns
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Dolphins, man. Dolphins. They are gonna take over the world, and kill us all, man! THEY'LL KILL US ALL! Oh no, they will start with Gondile. Haha, hell if they are gettin' me! No way man, I'll kill 'em. I'll kill them all!!!


First, the small things. Whoever is doing their music needs a swift slap up their face and kicked to the street, he isn't doing his job right. Get a new guy. I don't care where, but have him show some demos, and if they're up to -blam!- Marty-O-Donnel par, then welcome aboard.

Next, new gun designs. We're in the future now, right? Well stop making already existing guns look futuristic, and instead, just actually make some new concepts for weapons. Think outside the box. Not a Neo-M16, but a Gravity Gun. (Not saying rip off the GG, but, you know) This also applies to grenades.

Ok but now let's focus on the real bad boys. All the tropes that come with a COD campaign need to get their dick crunched by a steel toed boot. Let's start with um... erm.. health. Health needs a complete redo. No more get shot, hide behind cover, suck your thumb, regenerate health, rinse and repeat. Bother that nonsense. Instead, bring in the doom style health system. That's right, start with the big 100, or maybe have like 10 bars of health, or have, whatever, have a health system that does not regenerate, but requires first aid kits to gather health back. You could even go as far as to also take the Doom armor system or some variation of. Pick up a helmet off a dead soldier, 25+ armor, idk.

Now we're getting good, but we aren't finished turning these unsalted peanuts into a lobster dinner just yet. Next up is redoing the horrid level design. By god, the insurmountable amount of linear paths boggles my mind. Levels need to get creative and involve multiple paths. Not only such, but even should have light puzzle elements. Not necessarily making you solve a puzzle to get by, but maybe, say, exploding a crane that will drop whatever it's holding onto a group of enemies. I know it sort of does this already, but not enough of it. And hell, why not make puzzles that should be solved to get through? They could also be light, like having to shoot an exploding barrel that will set a rope on fire that burns down the door to let you through. But the bottom line is that there needs to be more than one -blam!- path.

Now, this goes hand in hand with the before. I cannot say this enough, and if anything gets through, it's this. STOP. THE. MOTHER. -blam!-. COMMANDS. When there's spotlights shining through, we do NOT need our partner to shout at the top of his longs to avoid the spot lights. We do NOT need our partner to tell us to get down when there is a -blam!- tank driving near us. We do NOT need our partner to tell us to stay quiet when we are HIDING FROM THE ENEMIES ALREADY AS HAS BEEN DECLARED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MISSION. Teammates need to keep their goddamned mouths shut. They can speak for characterization, or say things like RELOADING, but I swear to god if they even go as far as to suggest I take out the guy on the roof, balls are getting tapped. With a brick. A really dirty one.

Ah, see, we've dissected the pig and we're ripping out it's organs, BUT, we're replacing them with better, stronger, robotic parts. We HAVE the technology. Let's not stop yet. A big issue comes down to enemies. They aren't varied worth a -blam!-. You've got the military guys with red berets, and the military guy with green berets, and sometimes, once on a lucky moon, you get a military guy with blue berets. The all stand there retardedly and shoot, occasionally ducking, sometimes jacking their partner, but overall, just being human. So why don't we make an effort to make the enemies varied? I'm not talking about introducing freaking aliens or mutants or something, but why not different, unique strands of the military? Ok, say we have our standard army dude with a gun of his choice. Now, let's throw assassins into the mix, similar to the black ops of Half Life. They can be sneaky and use the knife primarily. Now let's throw Juggernauts into the mix. They've been there before, for, uh, um, one mission? Have them as regular as a Hunter in Halo. Let's think even more outside the box. Have special marines that only use pistols but they build up barricades for themselves. They'd be fast too, so it'd be a bit of trouble to take 'em out. And hell, while we're at it, let's throw kamikaze guys regularly. Shoot 'em and detonate 'em before they explode on Y-U-O. I misspelled that. The point is, the possibilities for variation are endless. Variation is NOT different beret types. While we're on that, make sure to give each of these varied enemies color and outfit differences. We don't want all these cool and different enemies to still have the same hair style, do we?

I almost wouldn't mention vehicles because after playing Black Ops 2, I am pleasantly surprised that vehicles had a lot of action in the campaign. By god was it fun as hell to drive that car through the highway, or more importantly, lead a horse on a desperate struggle. But I mention this because the vehicle sections are forced sections. I don't like that and neither should you. It should almost always (I'm excluding escape scenes and other actual plot specific parts) be optional to go on foot or hop on the APC. Makes for re playability to have it set up this way, and more importantly, gives the player a lot more control.

Not even close to being done. That's a lie, we are close. But not done. Characters and the story need a scientifically approved amount: -blam!-ON of improvement. Black Ops 2 had me laughing so hard because there were so many goddamned betrayals it just got silly. You got to the point where everybody you would meet would betray you at some point. It's ridiculous and makes the player not want to care about anyone, and that's bad for character development. There should be more personal dialogue that extends the characteristics of one. I'm not saying in the middle of a firefight we should have Mason tell us he snuggles with Hello Kitty dolls every Thursday, but by god, I want to be able to tell a character is terrified, or amused, or has conflicting feelings, or just, SOMETHING. I mention story beside my existing argument for characters because I literally have no idea what could be done to fix it. There's little you can do, and I sort of appreciate the story of Black Ops 1 a teensy bit. At this point, the best I can do is shrug.

Cutscenes. Cutscenes, cutscenes, cutscenes. I'm so goddamned sick of cutscenes. When it gets to the point where you take 20 steps and have a cutscene, then take another 20 steps forward and have another cutscene, and then take ANOTHER 20 STEPS FORWARD AND HAVE A CUTSCENE, it gets aggravating. Yes, when I plunge into the water, I don't need an automatic swim for me, just give me controller options to swim. Yes, when an explosion happens, I don't need to have to fall down and do the jazz hands maneuver for the fifth time. Yes, when a vehicle is falling, I don't need my controller to be taken away from me because I can very well use the A button just very -blam!- fine. It's just repulsive how much the game assumes you can't do on your own and initiates a beautifully rendered cutscene of you staring at a dude's mustache. Forget the game and just make a goddamn movie if this is how it has to be done.

Oh lordy Lucifer I've typed over 7000 words. There's just so much more that can be done to the Campaign that could make it playable, creative, and... Dare I say it... enjoyable. Consider and think about what I've just thrown up onto my keyboard, and let me know you're agreeable or conflicting thoughts.

[Edited on 01.05.2013 7:44 PM PST]

  • 01.05.2013 7:30 PM PDT

Posted by: Falcon Saber
I like how your sub box is full of science and political videos but your recommendations are full of anime girls kissing each other.

Just Zoid being Zoid ^_^

I think you wasted your time typing that

  • 01.05.2013 7:31 PM PDT
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Posted by: Teh_Zoid
I think you wasted your time typing that

  • 01.05.2013 7:31 PM PDT


Posted by: Teh_Zoid
I think you wasted your time typing that

  • 01.05.2013 7:32 PM PDT
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Dolphins, man. Dolphins. They are gonna take over the world, and kill us all, man! THEY'LL KILL US ALL! Oh no, they will start with Gondile. Haha, hell if they are gettin' me! No way man, I'll kill 'em. I'll kill them all!!!


Posted by: Teh_Zoid
I think you wasted your time typing that
:3

  • 01.05.2013 7:33 PM PDT

Wait, you actually are looking at this? Damn, I never look at these, at least on this site.

I disagree, I love the campaigns, but then again I really only pay attention to the story, and not really the gameplay

  • 01.05.2013 7:33 PM PDT
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My XBL is my account´s name not the alligned winner one :)


Posted by: Halfanhour4

Posted by: Teh_Zoid
I think you wasted your time typing that

  • 01.05.2013 7:33 PM PDT

Well then, you somehow found my signature, nice job, so time for your prize.............FLOODIANS! ATTACK! Also, those socks do NOT make you look handsome.

How about nuking the franchise and starting all over again?

  • 01.05.2013 7:35 PM PDT
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Dolphins, man. Dolphins. They are gonna take over the world, and kill us all, man! THEY'LL KILL US ALL! Oh no, they will start with Gondile. Haha, hell if they are gettin' me! No way man, I'll kill 'em. I'll kill them all!!!


Posted by: Wars0ngGlutch
I disagree, I love the campaigns, but then again I really only pay attention to the story, and not really the gameplay
... If you're paying attention to the story, you should still be disappointed.

  • 01.05.2013 7:36 PM PDT
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F0ck the police

You forgot to take out strike force missions. I seriously can't even finish black ops 2 on normal because the strike force missions. I also suck at multiplayer and hate zombies.

  • 01.05.2013 7:36 PM PDT

We work in the dark to serve the light.

CROSSOVER WITH DOA!

  • 01.05.2013 7:37 PM PDT

I disagree, I prefer CoD's campaign the way it is.

  • 01.05.2013 7:38 PM PDT

Wait, you actually are looking at this? Damn, I never look at these, at least on this site.


Posted by: Gondile

Posted by: Wars0ngGlutch
I disagree, I love the campaigns, but then again I really only pay attention to the story, and not really the gameplay
... If you're paying attention to the story, you should still be disappointed.


I must be ignorant or something like that, because I find myself laughing at what some of the characters say, being sad when they die, etc.

But then again, opinions

  • 01.05.2013 7:39 PM PDT

Posted by: Falcon Saber
I like how your sub box is full of science and political videos but your recommendations are full of anime girls kissing each other.

Just Zoid being Zoid ^_^


Posted by: mastesargent
CROSSOVER WITH DOA!
Give ALL the soldiers GIANT BOOBS

  • 01.05.2013 7:40 PM PDT

Music is fine

Grenades have been improved already
And Black Ops II takes place in the near future, not in the distant future

This isn't even Call of Duty anymore

Time and money friend
Some things aren't worth the effort

So you're suggesting to fire all the voice actors and make the characters mute?

Again, time and money
Why waste all of that on trivial things?

Time and money

So edgy

Those aren't cutscenes you retard

TL;DR Go play Halo

  • 01.05.2013 7:44 PM PDT

Black Ops 2's campaign was fine the way it was. It was well-written, the Villain had a motive that was clear to everyone. And it had closure and didn't leave any hanging questions unanswered. Simple as that.

And you said the soundtrack is terrible? You'd have to be tone deaf to hate this.

[Edited on 01.05.2013 7:52 PM PST]

  • 01.05.2013 7:44 PM PDT
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Dolphins, man. Dolphins. They are gonna take over the world, and kill us all, man! THEY'LL KILL US ALL! Oh no, they will start with Gondile. Haha, hell if they are gettin' me! No way man, I'll kill 'em. I'll kill them all!!!


Posted by: ReconE14
Music is fine

Grenades have been improved already
And Black Ops II takes place in the near future, not in the distant future

This isn't even Call of Duty anymore

Time and money friend
Some things aren't worth the effort

So you're suggesting to fire all the voice actors and make the characters mute?

Again, time and money
Why waste all of that on trivial things?

Time and money

So edgy

Those aren't cutscenes you retard

TL;DR Go play Halo
You're just a shining star aren't you? I envy the way you said your points and... didn't back them up at all with any other information other than calling me a retard. Get over yourself.

  • 01.05.2013 7:45 PM PDT

Some of that is on point, but other ideas you shared mess with the game too much.
Good: More control
Bad: Puzzles (kinda)
They would have to be almost obvious if that makes sense
Good: Adding juggs
Bad: All those extra classes like the handgun and building stuff

  • 01.05.2013 7:47 PM PDT

Posted by: Gondile
You're just a shining star aren't you?
What a unique insult
Posted by: Gondile
I envy the way you said your points and... didn't back them up at all with any other information other than calling me a retard. Get over yourself.
Unfortunately, I simply don't care enough to give an actual argument

Consider this an idle thought in response to your essay that nobody cares about

  • 01.05.2013 7:50 PM PDT

"It will take many bad things to ruin your day, but it only takes one good thing to make it."

"We have a bond that's stronger than any sports team or extra curricular group on campus........combined. This band is our family."

"Tis but the journey, not the destination."

"And that's my contingency plan. Well, it wouldn't be considered 'contingency' if it happens more than half the time..."

So much effort for nothing.

  • 01.05.2013 7:51 PM PDT
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Dolphins, man. Dolphins. They are gonna take over the world, and kill us all, man! THEY'LL KILL US ALL! Oh no, they will start with Gondile. Haha, hell if they are gettin' me! No way man, I'll kill 'em. I'll kill them all!!!


Posted by: Thanatos DwC
Some of that is on point, but other ideas you shared mess with the game too much.
Good: More control
Bad: Puzzles (kinda)
They would have to be almost obvious if that makes sense
stuff


Possibly. The puzzles idea itself is something that randomly popped up in my head while typing, so I'm not even completely sure it's a good thing to add.

Posted by: Thanatos DwC
Some of that is on point, but other ideas you shared mess with the game too much.
Good: Adding juggs
Bad: All those extra classes like the handgun and building stuff


But wouldn't the variation of different enemies make the battlefield more diverse and require a constant change of tactics?

  • 01.05.2013 7:52 PM PDT
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Dolphins, man. Dolphins. They are gonna take over the world, and kill us all, man! THEY'LL KILL US ALL! Oh no, they will start with Gondile. Haha, hell if they are gettin' me! No way man, I'll kill 'em. I'll kill them all!!!


Posted by: ReconE14
Posted by: Gondile
You're just a shining star aren't you?
What a unique insult
Posted by: Gondile
I envy the way you said your points and... didn't back them up at all with any other information other than calling me a retard. Get over yourself.
Unfortunately, I simply don't care enough to give an actual argument

Consider this an idle thought in response to your essay that nobody cares about

You have saddened me and I am crying myself to sleep now. :'(

  • 01.05.2013 7:52 PM PDT
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I don't need no stinking signature!

If you made all those changes it wouldn't even resemble cowadutee to the slightest degree. It'd be a completely new game.

[Edited on 01.05.2013 7:54 PM PST]

  • 01.05.2013 7:53 PM PDT

Posted by: Gondile

Posted by: ReconE14
Posted by: Gondile
You're just a shining star aren't you?
What a unique insult
Posted by: Gondile
I envy the way you said your points and... didn't back them up at all with any other information other than calling me a retard. Get over yourself.
Unfortunately, I simply don't care enough to give an actual argument

Consider this an idle thought in response to your essay that nobody cares about

You have saddened me and I am crying myself to sleep now. :'(
lel epic sarcasm xD
>tfw le irony :O

[Edited on 01.05.2013 7:57 PM PST]

  • 01.05.2013 7:56 PM PDT

That would completely change the game...

I love it.

  • 01.05.2013 7:57 PM PDT

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