- MyNameIsCharlie
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- Fabled Mythic Member
Studies show that men think about sex every 7 seconds. I do my best to eat hotdogs in under 6, just so things don't get weird.
Please allow me to introduce Myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith
Posted by: BaghdadBean
Morality:
You are not responsible for the child's biological siblings. End of story. Regardless of blood, the child you are adopting is YOURS. You are responsible for that child. The line ends there. This woman is being highly unethical in approaching you this way, and you should not feel any guilt or obligation towards her or her other children. You did not put her in the current situation. She made her own adult choices, and she should be held accountable for them. You are an adoptive parent of a child, not an adoptive parent of a family. If you were to adopt the other siblings, it would be different, but as it stands now, there is absolutely ZERO normal human moral obligation towards the other siblings. If you choose to feel sentimental towards them, that's different than a moral obligation. As it is now, your moral obligation is to NOT offer her any money, as that would negate the terms of your adoption, thereby failing your obligation towards the one child in this mess that IS your moral responsibility.
For the record, I am a parent, and I am from a family that has traditionally relied on adoption to pass the torch from generation to generation. My heart goes out to you for being stuck in such a horrible situation.
That is the best advice I've received so far, even from family members. Thank you.
The part that is saddest about this, is that because of this incident we have decided to pass on any contact from her from birth until he is an adult, and that our estate will be held in trust until he's 25. I don't want her to even have the ability to manipulate him should something bad befall Mrs Charlie and me.