Off Topic: The Flood
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  • Subject: Master Plan
Subject: Master Plan
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I want to kidnap Applejack and chain her up in my ###### dungeon. She won't be able to move, and under her butt I will lay something precious to her...let's say the Apple family photo albums, open to irreplacable pictures of her dead parents.

Over two or three days I feed her regularly...but she gets very little water (she gets some, I'm not trying to kill her). I make her eat cheese and low-fiber sweets, so she gets constipated. If she gets stubborn and refuses to eat I might have to horsewhip her, but that's not really the point of this exercise.

Since her precious albums are right under her butt, and Applejack can't move, she is unable to poop. She has to stand there as horrible pressure builds up against her rectum.

After two or three days it's time for the harvest. I take the treasured photos away and move them to a safe place (I'm not a monster). Finally Applejack is allowed to poop, and I collect it in a bucket. That's not enough though.

With my bare ungloved hand I reach up her -blam!- and scoop huge handfuls of poop out manually. For such a little pony this is gonna hurt, so I might need some help holding her still.

Finally, when all Applejack's poop has been collected I portion it out into little bags and freeze it. Over the next few months I defrost 1 ounce baggies of Applejack's poop in the microwave and use it as lubricant to clop with.

Applejack can be released at this point. I give her a hug, some painkillers for her sore -blam!-, and put her photo albums in her saddlebag. She can go home now.

I'll need some help with this plan. If you're interested I can pay you with a share of Applejack's poop. If it goes well we can do it with some other pones too.

  • 01.06.2013 7:42 PM PDT

Nice coppypasta, you sick bastard

  • 01.06.2013 7:44 PM PDT
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*Wings flare up*

I've seen this on /mlp/ before. I loved it.

Post more OP.

  • 01.06.2013 7:44 PM PDT

Posted by: Falcon Saber
I like how your sub box is full of science and political videos but your recommendations are full of anime girls kissing each other.

Just Zoid being Zoid ^_^

Can't understand

  • 01.06.2013 7:44 PM PDT

man i get an erection just lookin at my girl lol and i dnt hide it i mean she realy doesnt mind she actually likes it lol also it shoes you dont have ED problems (i think)

Truer words were never spoken

BLUGH

  • 01.06.2013 7:47 PM PDT
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I'm not so good with advice...Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

People who come up with stuff like this need help.

  • 01.06.2013 7:47 PM PDT
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Posted by: Todge16801
People who come up with stuff like this need help.


If I just rearrange that a tad



Posted by: Todge16801
Help People who come up with this stuff.




So you're all in?

[Edited on 01.06.2013 7:52 PM PST]

  • 01.06.2013 7:52 PM PDT