- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
Funny idea to the beginnig of Halo 3.
Fade in. The camera gets some scenic shots of San Francisco. All is peaceful, until the Covenant ship from the end of Halo 2 crashes into a floor near the top of a large office building. Office workers on that floor fall over and stumble as the ship tears through metal, glass and cement.
The office workers stare at the cloud of smoke created from the crash at first, until finally a figure emerges from the dust. It's none other than Master Chief, clutching Halo: CE's assault rifle with new gloves for some reason.
MC: Hey.
The Master Chief walks through the crowd of shocked workers staring at him in awe, and presses the call button for the elevator on the opposite side of the room. He stands in awkward silence waiting for the elevator as everyone stares at him.
The elevator opens up, and inside a businesswoman is clutching the hand of a very fat 9-year-old boy with a picture of Master Chief's head on his grease-covered shirt. Probably her son.
Master Chief lowers his head as he enters the elevator, and presses "L" for the lobby floor. The doors close, and the people begin their descent.
During another very awkward silence, some classic jazz music starts to play and the fat boy looks up at Master Chief, but looks away as soon as Master Chief turns to look at the boy, and vice versa when the boy looks back up.
MC: *Coughs slightly*
The woman tugs at her son's arm.
Woman: Albert! Don't stare!
The boy looks disappointed. He then lifts a hand and begins to pick his nose. His mother tugs on his arm again.
Woman: Don't pick, Albert!
The boy begins to whimper. The woman rolls her eyes, reaches into her purse and pulls out a big-mac. The boy looks joyful, and grasps the burger with both of his fat, greasy hands and takes a messy bite out of it.
Silence apart from annoying chewing follows during the rest of the descent. Master Chief, somewhat irritated, shifts the weight from his left and right feet slightly. The boy eventually starts a conversation.
Albert: I played your game, Halo 2. It's awesome, campaign was kinda lame, though. Man, you do not want to play me in multiplayer, I'd totally own you. I'm a pro, all my friends think so. First I'd own you with the sword, then I'd get the noob combo and take your shield out with the plasma pistol, then I'd BXR you, and--
Master Chief, in the middle of the child talking, gets pissed off. He raises his knee up to his chest and stomps a massive hole through the elevator floor and picks up the child while he's talking. He flips him upside down and inserts him in the hole, but he gets stuck. His fat little legs wiggle as the Master Chief quickly drops a mighty boot down on his fat ass with amazing pressure. The child slips through and falls down the abyss.
The elevator eventually comes to a halt, and Master Chief steps out into the office lobby, leaving the woman inside with a facial expression containing a mixture of total shock and what appears to be a small amout of relief.
[Edited on 7/20/2006]