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This topic has moved here: Subject: linglin the ultimate grunt! a fan fic no flamming it my first!
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Subject: linglin the ultimate grunt! a fan fic no flamming it my first!
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halox43 aren't you like 13. so shut the -blam- up.

  • 07.23.2006 2:11 PM PDT
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Posted by: StrayEwok
http://objection.4camp.net/go.php?n=175693

  • 07.23.2006 2:13 PM PDT
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http://objection.4camp.net/go.php?n=176337

  • 07.23.2006 2:17 PM PDT
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Oh well. Time to leave this thread be and let it die by the inevitable tide of time.

  • 07.23.2006 2:18 PM PDT
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So Linglin went to tell his troops to get ready for the up coming battle with the humans. So they got there weapons and armor then they all gathered around Rolmee. As Rolmee was giving a speech to his troops, there was a shot hitting a red armored elite. Rolmee yelled sniper take him out! Linglin ordered the jackals to line up in a phlanax. Then five more shots rang out hitting two grunts, and a jackal. He told his elites to go west two units and flank the enemy snipers. As they did he saw from the corner of his eyes he saw a enemy vehicle. The humans call it a warthog he though. So he got one of his grunts to get a fuel rod cannon ,and the grunt shot the warthog and it blew up killing all three humans. The snipers stopped shooting. Linglin wondered if they killed his group of elites he sent to kill the snipers. Then he saw something, he got a vision inhancer. he looked threw it he saw ten of the twelve elites he sent, they where walking back to there camp site. Linglin asked the elites what happened. they told him they killed the snipers, but a squad of humans came out of nowhere and attacked they killed two elites but we killed all of them.
Linglin went to report to Rolmee, he said to Rolmee we have lost twentyseven of our one hundered and eighty-five strike team.Rolmee said it was a little loss, but that wasnt all of the humans there are alot more in the base, i can feel it. "linglin" said Rolmee "go get me my ghost." Linglin nodded.

[Edited on 7/23/2006]

  • 07.23.2006 2:26 PM PDT
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there sorry it took so long had to clean. is it a little better with the shorthand?

  • 07.23.2006 2:36 PM PDT
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Posted by: the killer grunt
there sorry it took so long had to clean. is it a little better with the shorthand?


You'd be amazed what a difference it makes.

  • 07.23.2006 2:37 PM PDT
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so the story is ok?

  • 07.23.2006 2:40 PM PDT
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It's okay for a newbie story writer. In this context I'm using "newbie" as "not having written 45972 other stories prior".

  • 07.23.2006 2:46 PM PDT
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Yea it needs a few touch ups here and there but all things considered its fine. I can see the ideas that you are trying to develope. Keep it up because you only get better with practice.

  • 07.23.2006 2:50 PM PDT
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thank you

  • 07.23.2006 2:50 PM PDT
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Linglin got Rolmee's ghost and drove it to him. Rolmee thanked Linglin for his work and drove to the camps headquarters. Linglin was tired so he went to his methine chamber and slept. Four hours later he was awaken by an elite. The elite told Linglin that he had to report to Rolmee imeditaly. So Linglin went to Rolmee and asked," Excellancy did u ask for me?" And Rolmee nodded. He told Linglin that there attack will be today. So Rolmee told Linglin to prepare his troops. Two hours later all of the covanant had there weapons and armor on and they where ready to fight till the death. They activated there active camo, and Rolmee ordered there airstrike. The phantoms shot at human military hard points of the base.Rolmee then put a plasma bomb on the fence surrounding the base. Ten seconds later it blew up. The covanant ran in noone noticed they where there. They found the humans headquarters. Rolmee lead the troops into the room, he saw five heavy armed humans guarding the door, he threw a plasma granade. It hit one marine in the side of the face, he screamed,"Get it off, get it off!" he ran at the other marines and the granade blew up. It killed two marines. The other marines turned there thermal goggles on and saw the covavant troops. The marines shot at them then the covanant shot back easily killing the marines. But the marines killed three grunts, two jackals, and three elites. Then Rolmee busted the door down, he saw the officer named Jesse. jesse had twenty-five marines in the room. There was a fight that killed twenty-nine covanant, but they captured Commander Jesse. They got out of the headquarters and fought the rest of the marines that where still alive. After the battle the covanant lost alot of troops but they won the battle.

[Edited on 7/23/2006]

  • 07.23.2006 3:09 PM PDT
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Oh geeze, I feel like I'm back on the WoW RolePlaying forum again...

You have a basic plot line, and you have names. Many people think that's all they need at first, but that's only the beginning. Linglin is a Grunt who bosses people around. Okay. What's his personality? Is he the typical cowardly Grunt? A bit of an aggressive streak? Is he a jokester, quiet, maybe a bit rebellious? Why does he think and say the things he does? How does he react to different things?

What about those under his command? They have lesser roles, but they do mean something. Does he favor any? Perhaps a few of the Jackals are plotting against him?

Somewhat less important, (but still very important indeed!) is details. Where is this taking place? Why are they after that paticular commander? How do they plan to do it? What's the environment? Is it cold, dark, humid, swampy, forested, snowy, or something other?

Well, I need to go now. I hope I have helped.

  • 07.23.2006 3:12 PM PDT
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i wander whut hapens if rolmee dies oh wait i know the humans ell send in the mc not il have to wait

  • 07.23.2006 3:12 PM PDT
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lala stupid post

[Edited on 7/23/2006]

  • 07.23.2006 3:17 PM PDT
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After the covanant got aboard there flagship Rolmee took LInglin and two more elites and grunts to the room that Commander Jesse was in. Rolmee told the two other elites Zolmloe,and Rotlomoa, that if any one comes in the room, to get there identification and if they arnt apart of the crew shoot them on sight. He told the grunts the same,then he left. Linglin left with Rolmee, Linglin asked Rolmee where they where heading. Rolme replied."High Charity." As soon as he said it, the whole ship shook. there alarm went off, Rolmee said,"humans, Linglin guard the human kill anyone who enters the room. Linglin entered the room. Commander Jesse said." My marines are going to kill everyone of you covanant bast$%#&$ and they will save me!" Zolmloe slapped the human hard. Then i heard gunfire, there right outside our door. Linglin said ill call for backup. Then he blacked out....

  • 07.23.2006 3:30 PM PDT
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post ppl

  • 07.23.2006 4:42 PM PDT
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ppl read!

[Edited on 7/24/2006]

  • 07.23.2006 4:49 PM PDT

You really should write out the entire story before you post anything. As others have said above, develop your characters, plot, setting, etc. Try finishing sophomore English as well, if you pay attention, it will immensely improve your writing abilities.


Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure that bumping your own posts is ilegal so stop doing it before this post gets locked.

  • 07.23.2006 5:17 PM PDT
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http://objection.4camp.net/go.php?n=192298

[Edited on 7/23/2006]

  • 07.23.2006 5:59 PM PDT
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i liek pie and by the way death to the humans (not me!)

  • 07.23.2006 6:38 PM PDT
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Posted by: SpoonGuard
You really should write out the entire story before you post anything. As others have said above, develop your characters, plot, setting, etc.


Yes yes yes yes yes. How did I forget to mention that... think it out. My stories rot in my head for atleast a week before I start writing a rough draft. I've had a few stories sitting around for a few months that I haven't started yet. I'm still thinking out the plotlines in my wittle head.

And I love pie too, but did you really need to post it? Bumpspamming is highly looked down upon here.

Darnit... I wanna write now, but I don't know what to do a story about. Maybe I'll just hash together a paragraph or two, no real huge story. Maybe...

[Edited on 7/23/2006]

  • 07.23.2006 6:43 PM PDT
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mayeb a story abotu a grunt that likes pie?

mmmmmmmmmmmm pie

and i think its good but needs improvements

  • 07.23.2006 7:10 PM PDT
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I don't have a real Halo-related story in my head. I've been doing some crazy things, thinking out reactions and whatnot. For example, one of mine is throwing an Elite into a civilian human place as an ambassador or something. What would the reactions be from both sides, what would be the conflicts, ect. I'm more thinking out the mindsets and attitudes of many possible characters right now, not working on plotlines.

But that's just in Halo. Heck, I'm typing up an intro to a Freelancer story right now in another tab.

  • 07.23.2006 7:16 PM PDT
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"post ppl"

Ok. Well, I tried to be nice the first time, but I still think it could do with a bit of work. Oh hell, screw it. Your fan-fic is cack. Okay?

CC

  • 07.24.2006 5:48 AM PDT

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