- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
Episode 1:
Command: Sahara here is your briefing. A batch of weapons plans have recently been stolen from the Reach government No one knows who took the plans or why, but they contain information on a high voltage EMP rocket capable of wiping out 600 square miles of power. This blast could shut down power in cities and towns for days…causing the military to be vulnerable, it will also result in a 5000 estimated death from riots and the hospitals not having the electricity to heal the wounded from those riots. Intel has tracked the plans to a planet maid out of 97% water, now officially named Pandora. There is a small group of islands that the plans are supposedly in. Your mission is to find gather intelligence of who took the plans, why and to destroy all information if any found…….this is a recording.
Fisher: Well men, we’ll be landing on the islands soon, almost each island base some kind of outpost, meaning we have a lot of searching to do before we find what were looking for.
Wilks: Five bucks says I find it before you.
Loaf: You’re on
Wilks: Sucker
Spooner: Five bucks! How did you get that we don’t even get paid!
Wilks: What do you mean? I get 28 bucks an hour.
Loaf: Yah I get 30 per hour.
*Everyone looks at Capt. Fisher*
Fisher: Um…well it goes like this
*BAMN, there’s an explosion right by the outside of the passenger seats*
Spooner: -blam!-! Is everyone alright!
Everyone: (some form of yes)
Spooner: Good, I thought we would have to trust Wilks with our lives.
Wilks: Yah I thought you were all screwed…hey wait!
Fisher: Lea status report!
Lea: The lower left engine base been blown off, I can keep her stable for about 2 more miles, but were gonna need to abandon ship.
Fisher: Alright men were going to have to jump…And I think that my best chance for survival is to use Billy as a shield to cushion my fall.
Billy: Don’t worry captain, I’ll…wait, WHAT!
Loaf: Jump! When the hell, were at 9000 feet with no parachutes! Its suicide!
Fisher: You know, the situation looked a whole lot brighter for you Billy less people before you butted in Loaf.
Loaf: Sir, permission to speak offensively?
Fisher: Permission denied, now everyone get in rows of 2, were going to jump in pairs of two.
*Everyone gets in 2 lines but Spooner and Wilks end up in the front*
Spooner: *looking down* I ain’t jumping you jump you jump
Wilks: Hell no, its suicide. You go
Loaf: Why would I listen to you
Wilks: Hey Five bucks says I-
Loaf: Oh shut up
Spooner: Your not making this any easier, were gonna die if we stay here anyway.
Wilks: You try saying that when it's your turn
Spooner: Damn it just go!
*Spooner runs up and melees Wilks in the back, causing him to fall out*
Fisher: Oh My God!
Spooner: Oh -blam!- what did I just do!
Fisher: Spooner, that was traitorous and stupid…where did you come up with the brilliant idea to get rid of Wilks.
Loaf: Um sir…I think you’re missing the severity of the situation.
*Another missile hits the pelican*
Lea: Oh god! Where going down! I can’t hold her! We have to jump!
*The pelican starts to go down at a steady incline and everyone falls out of the pelican*
Later on an island*
Spooner: *slowly opening eyes and getting up from the ground* Oh go my head…what happened.
Loaf: Don’t you remember?
Spooner: No…
Loaf: Well first we got hit with a missile, and then you killed wilds and then-
Spooner: Wait I killed Wilks!
Loaf: Yah…Capt. Fisher promoted you to a Sgt. For it too.
Spooner: Well, then I think it was worth it.
Loaf: -blam!- you! You killed our medic, now no one can heal Billy!
Billy: *Lieing on the ground* uhhh, I like to think I served my country well.
Loaf: Billy you didn’t serve your country…your Captain just screwed you over
Billy: I try not to remember the bad times
Spooner: Wilks couldn’t help him anyway, he’s a crappy medic…which brings me to my second question…how did we survive?
Loaf: Oh that, we all piled on top of Billy, he took most of the impact while everyone else stayed safe.
Spooner…
Loaf: What, it was Captains idea.
Spooner: Not surprising
Over by the pelican*
Fisher: So how bad is it?
Lea: Well the gas tank’s shot and the engines tilt control is busted, so even if we could turn them on I couldn’t fly it. But the radio is still slightly intact.
Fisher: Great, how long before we can contact command?
Lea: We can get about 10 miles on it…command is 10 light years away.
Fisher: Great! With 10 miles we can easily get in contact with command! Start working on it.
Lea: Sir, a light year is something like 3 trillion miles
Fisher: I don’t want excuses! I want results! *walks away*
Lea: …-_-
Over by where Loaf and Spooner are*
Loaf: So were does it hurt Billy?
Spooner: That was the most pointless question I have ever heard.
Loaf: I’m just trying to help.
Billy: It hurts everywhere…
Loaf: You poor kid…we really need Wilks
Spooner: For the last time Wilks sucks, don’t you know why he got transferred to our squad?
Loaf: No
Spooner: His entire squad got shot, and instead of trying to help them out, Wilks crouched behind a rock in fear of the enemy.
Loaf: Well how did he get out?
Spooner: The enemy felt sorry for him so they just gave him back
Loaf: ...Yah, I think were better off without him
Spooner: What if he’s still alive
Loaf: Don’t be an idiot
Spooner: Yah…sorry.
Somewhere else on the island*
*A group of natives crowd around wilks*
Wilks: Umm guys…anyone…help…please
Its still a rough draft, and I really need some better jokes, as you can see my jokes suck. Thats just the plot of episode number 1
[Edited on 8/9/2006]