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  • Subject: Have Fun Doing Your Laundry, Johnson!
Subject: Have Fun Doing Your Laundry, Johnson!

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Okay, I was in one of my crazier moments, playing on Pillar of Autumn. I was killing the marines. Johnson says "Next one who dies does my laundry!", and strangely enough, the next one I killed was Johnson! Funny.

[Edited on 7/29/2006]

  • 07.28.2006 1:32 AM PDT
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Good ol' Johnson and his witty catch phrases.

  • 07.28.2006 3:52 AM PDT

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Posted by: Snap Dragon
Good ol' Johnson and his witty catch phrases.


Yep. But he better watch himself. Like in this case.

  • 07.28.2006 12:30 PM PDT

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Eh, Johnson the greatest character of all time. Him and his catchy/sweet phrases.

-BH-

[Edited on 7/28/2006]

  • 07.28.2006 12:54 PM PDT
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I've never heard him say that before!

  • 07.29.2006 12:08 AM PDT
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Posted by: Mattbluhalofan
Posted by: Snap Dragon
Good ol' Johnson and his witty catch phrases.


Yep. But he better watch himself. Like in this case.


No kidding, he doesnt get regenerative abilities untill the end of the game. *


*First Strike

  • 07.29.2006 1:33 AM PDT

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Johnson: Take THAT!
Grunt: Catch this!
*plasma grenade sticks to Johnson*
Johnson: Oh GOD! Get it OFF!
*boom*
Johnson: YAAAAHHHHH!
Chief: What the hell? I thought he couldn't die!
Mendoza: That's Halo 2.
Chief: Dammit!

  • 07.29.2006 1:49 AM PDT
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Posted by: Mattbluhalofan
Johnson: Take THAT!
Grunt: Catch this!
*plasma grenade sticks to Johnson*
Johnson: Oh GOD! Get it OFF!
*boom*
Johnson: YAAAAHHHHH!
Chief: What the hell? I thought he couldn't die!
Mendoza: That's Halo 2.
Chief: Dammit!


Meh...he'll just respawn in the next level....

  • 07.29.2006 1:57 AM PDT

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Posted by: Snap Dragon
Posted by: Mattbluhalofan
Johnson: Take THAT!
Grunt: Catch this!
*plasma grenade sticks to Johnson*
Johnson: Oh GOD! Get it OFF!
*boom*
Johnson: YAAAAHHHHH!
Chief: What the hell? I thought he couldn't die!
Mendoza: That's Halo 2.
Chief: Dammit!


Meh...he'll just respawn in the next level....


Or ten minutes later, when you see the next fleet of marines.

Chief: Johnson?! You died?
Johnson: Uhh, no, I'm... uhhh... Jimson.
Chief: No you aren't.
Johnson: Okay, okay! I'm Johnson, dammit! You happy now?
Chief: Thought so.
Johnson: Besides, I'm not supposed to die until the Flood show up!
Chief: The what?
Johnson: Nothing! Um, look a jackal!
Chief: Jackals don't board ships!
*elite backhands Johnson, and he dies*
Cheif: Well, that should solve a lot of confusion.
*door opens and Johnson runs out*
Johnson: Let's hit 'em!
Chief: What the hell?! You just died!
Johnson: No I didn't! I'm right here!
*mysterious explosion kills Johnson and all the marines*
Chief: Well, okay, whatever. Let's get to the lifeboat.

  • 07.29.2006 2:03 AM PDT

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*Chief runs to first lifeboat crash, Johnson runs up to him*
Johnson: It's a mess, sir. We're scattered all over this valley.
Chief: Where the-- How are you here?
Johnson: What the hell are you talking about, Chief?
Chief: I just saw you die like two or threee times on the Pillar of Autumn.
Marine: The Autumn! SHE'S BEEN HIT!
Chief: Shut up!
Johnson: I don't know what you're talking about, son!
Mendoza: He's gone loco!
Chief: God, no one listens!
Marine: Heads up! I've got a Covenant dropship headin' in! Over here!
Chief: Kill him! Kill Johnson!
*500 needles go in Johnson, he explodes*
Mendoza: He'll be back.
*Chief beats Mendoza to the ground with his MA5B*
Chief: Okay, calm down. There's our warthog. Let's just go find the other survivors.

  • 07.29.2006 2:09 AM PDT

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*Chief reaches rockslide*
Johnson: We could use your help, sir!
Chief: Oh, damn it! Why me?!
Johnson: Damn, Chief, what's your problem? Why you so freaked out by me?
Chief: You don't stay dead! You die, and you come back like ten minutes later!
Johnson: You're crazy, man!
Chief: I'll show you crazy!
*Chief whips out a rocket launcher and kills all the marines*
Chief: Foe Hammer, I need you to pick me up!
Cortana: We need to go to the Truth and Reconcilliation to rescue the captain.
Chief: And get the hell away from Johnson.

  • 07.29.2006 2:14 AM PDT

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*at desert plateau under T&R*
Johnson: There's a gravity lift that ferries troops and supplies between the ship and the surface!
Chief: JohnSON!
*they get out, Johnson's not there*
Chief: Okay, then.
*later, at grav lift*
Cortana: We've reached the grav lift and are ready for reinforcements!
*pelican drops down, Stacker gets out*
Chief: Oh, god, John--Stacker?
Stacker: What, you've never seen a sergeant that isn't Johnson before?
Chief: Honestly, no I haven't!
Stacker: Oh! Really? Damn. I feel sorry for you.
*they go in the grav lift, and enter the ship*
Johnson: We could use your help, sir!
Chief: Johnson?! But you weren't--You were--Where's Stacker?
Johnson: Stacker? Bah, you must have lost it!
Chief: But you don't die, you always come back, Stacker was there, and now it's you!
Johnson: We've got company!
Chief: Okay, just ignore him.
*later, when the Chief and the captain return to the bridge, Johnson's dead*
Chief: Thank GOD. He's dead.
Keyes: Let's get out of here.
Chief: Yes, SIR.

  • 07.29.2006 2:24 AM PDT

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*on the beaches of the cartographer island*
Johnson: Chief, we need your help!
Chief: NO! Why are you here?! You were killed by an elite! Hell, this isn't even your level!
Johnson: Heh, It'd take more than an elite to take down Sergent A.J. Johnson!
Chief: A.J.? Your name's AJ?
Johnson: Hell no! That's a girl's name! My name is Avery!
Chief: Johnson, Avery is a girl's name.
Johnson: No it ain't.
Chief: Yes it is.
Johnson: No it ain't.
Chief: Yes.
Johnson: No.
Chief: That's besides the point! The point is--
*Chief snaps Johnson's neck*
Chipps Dubbo: What the hell?!
Chief: This isn't your level either!
Marine who needs losenge voice: What?
Chief: No! None of you are supposed to be here!
Chipps: He's gone crazy!
Chief: I swear to god, if we get to the control room, I'm going to activate it.
Cortana: You just gave away a plot point, stupid!
Chief: Oh, son of a--

  • 07.29.2006 2:31 AM PDT

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*near control room, on bridge*
Johnson: This is Fire team Zulu requesting immediate asssitance from any UNSC forces!
*long pause*
Chief: I need a sniper rifle.
*down by scorpion*
Chief: Heh heh heh! Now's the time! Johnson, prepare to die!
*Chief gets in scorpion, blows Johnson up several times*
Johnson: YEEEAAAAHHHHHH!!!
*at control room*
Johnson: Good to see you, Chief! Let's activate this thing!
Chief: You aren't even supposed to be here-- Screw it.
*Chief pushes Johnson off balcony, and he falls to his "death"*

  • 07.29.2006 2:36 AM PDT

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*in swamp, in flood facility, watching helmet cam*
Johnson: This stuff is your history!
Chief: GOD! I can't get away!
*Chief takes out chip, snaps it in half, throws it on ground, stomps it*
*later, the Chief reaches the top for extraction*
Johnson: We could use your help, sir!
Chief: Oh my -blam!-ing GOD!
Johnson: I'm not that pretty!
Chief: Wh-Bu-Yu-Do-You were killed by the Covenant!
Johnson: It would take more than that to stop Sgt. A.J. Johnson!
Chief: I saw you get killed by the flood!
Johnson: It would take more than that circus freak show to stop Sgt. A.J. Johnson!
Chief: Hell, I killed you!
Johnson: It would take more than a stupid Spartan to stop Sgt. A.J. Johnson!
*the Chief is madder than hell*
Johnson: Oh, Sorry. I bet that hit hard. Heh, hello? Take off your helmet, I wanna see if you're pissed or not.
*Chief blows off Johnson's head with shotgun, is kidnapped by Guilty Spark*

  • 07.29.2006 2:44 AM PDT

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*after everything, the Chief blows up the Autumn, and flys off in a longsword, looks out window to see--*
Johnson: This is it, baby. Hold me.
*they hug, Chief's longsword swoops in, splatters them both, flys off*
*later, after rescuing survivors, Johnson walks out, Chief points pistol at his head*
Chief: Okay, I am sick of you, and your will to relive! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't pull this trigger!
Johnson: It would take more than that circus freak show to stop Sgt. A.J.--
*Chief shoots pistol, Johnson falls dead*
Chief: HA! I DID IT!

  • 07.29.2006 2:49 AM PDT

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*in Halo 2, in armory*
Gunns: Take cover and wait for the meter to read fully charged.
*door opens, Johnson walks out*
Johnson: That, or he can hided behind me!
Chief: NOOOOOOO!
*Chief runs over, grabs shotgun, shoots Johnson in the head, nothing happens*
Johnson: Ow.
Chief: What the hell?
Gunns: He's in god mode in Halo 2, remember?
Chief: YYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
*Chief takes shotgun, shoots himself in the head, dies*
Johnson: Oh, get up man, you've had worse!
*Chief spawns in heaven*
Chief: I did it! I'm dead! I'm in heaven! And I'm finally, at long last away from--
Johnson's ghost: Hey, Chief!
Chief: What the f--
*Chief turns around to see about fifty Johnsons all around him*
Chief: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

The End.

(OR IS IT?)

  • 07.29.2006 2:53 AM PDT
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Wow, octuple posts...don't see many of them.....

  • 07.29.2006 3:44 AM PDT
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That's funnily good.

  • 07.29.2006 9:56 AM PDT

Posted by: Snap Dragon
Good ol' Johnson and his witty catch phrases.

Yeah.

  • 07.29.2006 10:43 AM PDT

Ive killed johnson (friendly fire!!!, honestly) in the beginning of pilar of autumn once and another johnson said "mind not killin' my men". Then i looked down and saw the one i killed on the floor. As the other walked past me out of the room.

  • 07.30.2006 11:15 PM PDT