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Subject: The idiots guide to life...
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All right everyone! post your advice for idiots and fools. So lets have fun- the more "Duh-ness" you can put in it the more points you get. the more funny or stupid the better.
This advice can be for anything, but try to keep it pretty clean.


Examples:


Don't clean up toxic waste with a vacuum cleaner.

Don't spit into the wind.

Don't tie your dog's leash to aircraft landing gear.




So give some crazy, stupid, lame, or funny ones!

  • 10.26.2004 7:31 AM PDT
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Dont shoot yourself in the foot with a railgun.

Dont sit beside a washed goose.

Always read the label before eating coal.

Dont chew tooth picks

[Edited on 10/26/2004 10:54:04 AM]

  • 10.26.2004 7:48 AM PDT
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Don't pull the trigger of a gun to see if it's loaded.

Don't light yourself on fire.

Don't stick metal objects into an electrical socket.

  • 10.26.2004 8:48 AM PDT
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Don't put a ketchup bottle in your eye to see if there is anything left. (I've done that. And it was ketchup left. Ouch!)

  • 10.26.2004 11:53 AM PDT
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Dont jump infront of a moving car

Dont dive in the shallow end of the pool

Dont try to pet a grizzly bear

Dont eat things you find on the ground

  • 10.26.2004 12:04 PM PDT
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Dont try balancing on the end of pins

Dont put salt in your eye

Dont drop a moose out of a plane

Never get a cab in mexico city

Red bull does not give you wings

  • 10.26.2004 12:14 PM PDT
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Arsenic is not a type of breath mint

Baloons will not let you float up into the sky

There is no spaghetti tree

  • 10.26.2004 12:18 PM PDT
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Don't drink the water...

Don't piss in the wind.

Don't drop the soap....

Don't check the gas tank with a lighter/match.

Don't smack a beehive.

Don't touch a hot stove.

Don't stare at the sun.

Don't eat raw pork.

Don't take a nap in the street.


[Edited on 10/26/2004 12:22:48 PM]

  • 10.26.2004 12:18 PM PDT
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Don't launch nuclear rockets with a match.

Don't clip your fingernails with a chainsaw.

  • 10.27.2004 10:44 AM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Dont test the heat of the burner on the stove by touching it (Ive done)
Dont see how long you can hold your breath by tieng a large rock to your leg and jumping in the water

  • 10.27.2004 11:38 AM PDT
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Don't see how long it takes to drown.
Don't start your xbox with a lighter.
Don't stare at bright lights in the road.

  • 10.27.2004 1:01 PM PDT
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Headlight fluid and Elbow grease.

  • 10.27.2004 1:03 PM PDT
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Don't mistake H2SO4 for H2O

  • 10.28.2004 6:10 AM PDT
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Never eat yellow snow

  • 10.28.2004 6:15 AM PDT
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Remember: Frequent breathing is the secret to a healthy life.

  • 10.28.2004 6:40 AM PDT
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Posted by: ObbiQuiet
Remember: Frequent breathing is the secret to a healthy life.


Just make sure that you're not breathing in chlorine gas.

  • 10.28.2004 6:57 AM PDT
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dont throw lighters into a fire.

  • 10.28.2004 7:39 AM PDT
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Posted by: Socialist

Dont chew tooth picks


why not? =\


Don't feed the monkeys.

  • 10.28.2004 8:27 AM PDT
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Posted by: SpArTaN KrIsTi
Posted by: Socialist

Dont chew tooth picks


why not? =\



Bloody mouth syndrome

  • 10.28.2004 8:37 AM PDT
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Posted by: Blackmarch
Don't mistake H2SO4 for H2O


Heh heh. I had a chemistry yeacher that kept singing a little ditty about this.

Poor joe is dead
He is no more

And then summat about H2SO4 and H2o

  • 10.28.2004 8:38 AM PDT
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Posted by: Socialist
Posted by: SpArTaN KrIsTi
Posted by: Socialist

Dont chew tooth picks


why not? =\



Bloody mouth syndrome


I do it all the time, hasnt happened to me.

  • 10.28.2004 8:50 AM PDT
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Posted by: Socialist
Posted by: Blackmarch
Don't mistake H2SO4 for H2O


Heh heh. I had a chemistry yeacher that kept singing a little ditty about this.

Poor joe is dead
He is no more

And then summat about H2SO4 and H2o


I wonder what would happen if someone put pure Na in their mouth?

  • 10.28.2004 10:57 AM PDT
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Dont put pure Na in your mouth

dont check the pressure of a moving cars tires

Dont stick your tounge in a toaster and turn it on

Dont jump off a bridge

dont stab yourself in the leg

  • 10.28.2004 1:10 PM PDT
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Don't smoke your dog.

If it starts with a number, don't eat it.

Don't try to wake up a rock.

[Edited on 10/28/2004 3:38:50 PM]

  • 10.28.2004 3:37 PM PDT
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Don't follow the mushroom off the cliff.

Remeber to throw the grenade

don't haci-sack with land mines.

  • 10.28.2004 3:56 PM PDT

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