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  • Subject: Halo: Unggoy Evolved (Fan-Fic)
Subject: Halo: Unggoy Evolved (Fan-Fic)

keep it up!

  • 07.15.2007 9:56 PM PDT
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Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: Sdrawkcab Eman
The end of this fanfic marks the end of an era.

But fortunately, there will be a part 2.
Knaht uoy yrev hcum! ( :


good ending to part one!!! sorry about the lateness i just found this fan-fic. What was all that gibberish about though???

  • 07.16.2007 8:41 PM PDT

Posted by: Rockets_Pwn101
Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: Sdrawkcab Eman
The end of this fanfic marks the end of an era.

But fortunately, there will be a part 2.
Knaht uoy yrev hcum! ( :


good ending to part one!!! sorry about the lateness i just found this fan-fic. What was all that gibberish about though???
Twas speaking in the tongue of the quoted user's name. Thanks a lot for the feedback though, man, and thanks to the rest of y'all as well. Despite my current problemas, I'm gonna try to get Chapter 3 posted by this Saturday. Should be a bit of a doozy, though, what with the Grunt sargeant in the clutches of Johnson and "teh chief".

[Edited on 07.16.2007 9:03 PM PDT]

  • 07.16.2007 9:03 PM PDT

No soldier should be honored for doing what is expected
of him. He is after all, just doing his job.

Posted by: the green grunt
(|__/) This....This is bunny
(x..X) Keslo Killed it
('') ('') what a nice guy

Return of the Chief! Ooo-rah

  • 07.18.2007 10:46 AM PDT

Chapter 3: Bodyguards and Babysitters

The three Grunts, now as clueless as ever, followed the specially armored Elite through a series of corridors, each of which looking distinctly similar.
"So," said Fisca, "You said the Prophets wanted to speak with us. May I ask why?"
"The hierarchs chose not to inform me, but suggested only that I take you to the Mosoleum."
"Mosoleum, huh?", beamed Pillow, "Sounds fancy."
Chosing to speak no further, the Honor Guard continued onward until he and the three Unggoy arrived at a rather large gravlift. The four of them entered the small space, slowly drifting downward until they reached the city's lower level.
The next passage was lined with Elite Honor Guards, who looked as though they were mere statues rather than actual members of the Covenant. This, of course, frightined the Grunts a small bit, though it was only a few moments later when they reached their destination.
The door infront of them opened like the wings of a lady bug, allowing the troops to press onward. However, once the door opened, a strangely familiar figure passed the Unggoy. It was an Elite, whom of which was coated in what looked like stone-plated armor. The Sangheili simply gave the Grunts a quick nod as he passed by, as if he knew who they were. Shortly thereafter, the Unggoy turned forward, and entered the Mosoleum.

The Grunt Sargeant, now moments away from defeat, stared fearfully into the faceless beast that was the Master Chief.
"You wanna do the honors, Chief?", asked Johnson from behind the machine-gun turret. The Chief nodded, pointed his battle rifle at the crimson-armored Unggoy, but just before he began to fire, a sudden burst of white and blue erupted in front of the Spartan. With his shields fully drained, he dived under the control panel to his right.
"Don't worry, Chief. I got 'em!", barked Johnson. However, not more than a second later, a glowing, blue sphere leaped onto his machine-gun turret.
"Ah, damn!", he growled, as the Sargeant hopped several steps backward. As the turret infront of Johnson was destroyed before his very eyes, a squad of four silver-coated Elites entered the frey.
"This is no place for a Grunt!", shouted one of the Elites, looking back at the Sargeant.
"Huh? Then why'd you guys send me here?!", the Grunt Sargeant exclaimed angrily, though still thankful that the four of them arrived when they did.
"Well, you understand that-", the Elite was cut off when a shell from Sargeant Johnson's sniper rifle blasted through his skull. The Sangheili's face hit the surface of the floor, blood pouring out of his mouth.
"Oh, geez!", the Grunt Sargeant beamed, as the Unggoy ran through the bulkhead passageway, and away from all of the hubbub.

The four troops entered the Mosoleum, with the Prophets of Truth and Mercy glued, as always, to their one-wheel armchairs. The two of them appeared to be sitting beside what looked like an empty locker. However, the only thing that the Grunts were interested in was the shere size of this (mostly purple-coated) chamber.
"Noble Prophets of Truth and Mercy....", the Honor Guard bowed before the elderly beings.
"Thank you, 'Tasma. You may leave, now."
The Elite nodded, turned backward, and left the chamber.
"So, you wanted to see us 'bout something?", Fisca asked.
"Indeed.", the Prophet of Truth answered, "You see, not but moments ago, a new Arbiter was appointed. You may have noticed the Sangheili who last exited this chamber was wearing a rather unique coat of armor."
"A new Arbiter, eh?", Fisca asked rhetorically, "So, what's the problem?"
"The true face of heresy has been revealed," Truth replied "and after receiving this holo-drone, we believe that we have found their exact location."
The Prophet clicked a small button on the left arm of his chair. Seconds later, the form of a strangely-armored Grunt appeared.
"Our Prophets are false! Open your eyes, my brothers! They would use the faith of our Forefathers to bring ruin to us all! The Great Journey is-"
The transmission ended, or rather cut off by Truth himself.
"How this one Unggoy was able to gather such a fraction of troops is unknown. However, because of your knowledge in the field-as it were-you three will be accompanying the Arbiter on his mission."
"With all due respect, your excellency," Fisca said "We just followed orders."
"Yeah. Most of the time, it was usually either Hackle or the Sargeant that came up with the plans. But, well, you all know what happened to Hackle, right?", Pillow said. The other two Grunts replied with a sigh, feeling remorse for their fallen comrade.
"Nonetheless," Truth said "each of you have survived through countless trials that many would consider suicidal......I have faith in you three."
"Thank you, your excellency. We'll get it done.", Fisca said, as he and the other two Unggoy marched backward and left the chamber.

[Edited on 07.22.2007 11:50 AM PDT]

  • 07.21.2007 8:49 PM PDT

"Men cry not for themselves, but their comrades."

"A hero need not speak. When he is gone, the world will speak for him."

Great chapter, Rare! Like the way you're changing the story just for the grunts. Keep it up!

  • 07.21.2007 9:22 PM PDT

Join the best group of all time Last Refuge!

Posted by: KidWitPotential
ya know, im proud to be an inverted player, its like we're a rare breed or something


Do NOT send me Recruitment Letters, doing so will get you blocked faster than you can say "Huh?"

Nice work nevere expected the Heritic to be a grunt.

  • 07.22.2007 1:05 AM PDT

Posted by: DeeJ
Why don't you just give me ONE SECOND!

!!retpahc lufrednoW

  • 07.22.2007 10:38 AM PDT

Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
!!retpahc lufrednoW
'ey, you're catching on!

  • 07.22.2007 11:43 AM PDT
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CHAPTIR FOORE

"ELEET WUN - I DUN TULD JOO JOO WUZ GUNNA GET R4P3D
HALO MATIR - AWW NO U AINT

END SEEN

  • 07.22.2007 12:53 PM PDT

Very nice, keep it up!

  • 07.22.2007 10:12 PM PDT
Subject: Halo: Unggoy Evolved (Fan-Fic; Part Two Begins on Pg. 12)
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Posted by: Rare Spartan

Chapter 1: A Warm Welcome

Out in the deep reaches of space, far from Earth, lied a magnificent structure known as the Pillar of Autumn. This enormous spacecraft was the carrier for most of the UNSC (United Nations Space Command) force during the long-running war against the alien threat known as the Covenant.



Atcually, the Pillar of Autumn was one of the weakest and smallest ships in the UNSC fleet, it had its advantages, such as the tripple MAC guns which were weaker then their singular MAC counterparts but had a more effictive strategic value if used properly and the Pillar of Autumns honeycomb design gave the ship incredable durability. The only reason it was such an effictive ship was because of its Captian. Jacob Keyes was a brilliant tatical strategist in naval battles and came out the victor in many seemingly impossible to win battles. Not only that, but parts of the interior of the Pillar of Autumn had been stripped and changed to accomidate the spartans and their needs.

[Edited on 07.22.2007 10:41 PM PDT]

  • 07.22.2007 10:24 PM PDT
Subject: Halo: Unggoy Evolved (Fan-Fic)
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"Don't you trust me?'
"No, I can't say that I do."
"Good, you'll live longer."

i do not mean any offense in what i will say here it may seem offensive but i am just a blunt person

first of all dont use the word BEAMED in ur fanfics i have seen u use it many times and some1 else even told u u r using it wrong u still are so just dont use it
second ur explanations do not make much sense like for example when u said ""the explosion was so large it must have caused a rift in time."" time is intangible u might as well say the explosion was so large it hurt a bunch of spirits that were near it
third and most importantly THE CHIEF IS INVINCIBLE he cant die and when u said he flew into the mist because they deactivated the bridge.....
the was just nonsense u might as well said some marine corps were made were the marines had rocket boots and missile swords....
seriously it made no sense

STILL REMEMBERING I DO NOT WANT TO OFFEND ANYBODY

why would they talk to a flood??? the only flood that can talk is gravemind and how could the flood not be able to make a big enough flood form??????
thats just stupid crap right there

also... why would the flood kill one of their allies and then negotiate with them????
its like "Hey i just killed your friend now lets make a deal!"
the only person who could do that is the godfather and he isnt in halo...

not offending anybody

and why the heck would marines get so close with their warthogs?????
u were reversing marine intelligence with grunt intelligence there...
and plasma grenades flipping it??
that would work in halo 1 the game but not in a book nor fanfic
why would a bodyguard not care about being paid???
and why would the covenant capture master chief and NOT KILL HIM???
instead they stuck a tracker up his butt.... what would be the point of that
keyes that would be possible the demon?? no freakin way

not offending


how would grunts pilot a longsword??????
and also that xxpiggyback dude would have died because his methane would have run out... (grunts breath methane that is why they have the masks)
and the covenant would have NEVER EVER approved a meeting with the hierachs for 5 grunts.. as far as the covenant is concerned grunts are cannon fodder and they would not be granted a meeting...


other than that the storyline is pretty good
o ya and my friend here says they would have to strip the mc before they could implant a tracker in his butt unless they had a nuclear syringe...
not trying 2 offend simply blunt

but other than that ur story is good and try writing about some elites next time like an elite-only story that would be cool if u already have 1 forgive me i didnt check

  • 07.22.2007 10:36 PM PDT

Posted by: magey10
i do not mean any offense in what i will say here it may seem offensive but i am just a blunt person

first of all dont use the word BEAMED in ur fanfics i have seen u use it many times and some1 else even told u u r using it wrong u still are so just dont use it
second ur explanations do not make much sense like for example when u said ""the explosion was so large it must have caused a rift in time."" time is intangible u might as well say the explosion was so large it hurt a bunch of spirits that were near it
third and most importantly THE CHIEF IS INVINCIBLE he cant die and when u said he flew into the mist because they deactivated the bridge.....
the was just nonsense u might as well said some marine corps were made were the marines had rocket boots and missile swords....
seriously it made no sense

in reply to Zaxhar:

Touche.
STILL REMEMBERING I DO NOT WANT TO OFFEND ANYBODY

why would they talk to a flood??? the only flood that can talk is gravemind and how could the flood not be able to make a big enough flood form??????
thats just stupid crap right there

also... why would the flood kill one of their allies and then negotiate with them????
its like "Hey i just killed your friend now lets make a deal!"
the only person who could do that is the godfather and he isnt in halo...

not offending anybody

and why the heck would marines get so close with their warthogs?????
u were reversing marine intelligence with grunt intelligence there...
and plasma grenades flipping it??
that would work in halo 1 the game but not in a book nor fanfic
why would a bodyguard not care about being paid???
and why would the covenant capture master chief and NOT KILL HIM???
instead they stuck a tracker up his butt.... what would be the point of that
keyes that would be possible the demon?? no freakin way

not offending


how would grunts pilot a longsword??????
and also that xxpiggyback dude would have died because his methane would have run out... (grunts breath methane that is why they have the masks)
and the covenant would have NEVER EVER approved a meeting with the hierachs for 5 grunts.. as far as the covenant is concerned grunts are cannon fodder and they would not be granted a meeting...


other than that the storyline is pretty good
o ya and my friend here says they would have to strip the mc before they could implant a tracker in his butt unless they had a nuclear syringe...
not trying 2 offend simply blunt

but other than that ur story is good and try writing about some elites next time like an elite-only story that would be cool if u already have 1 forgive me i didnt check

Firstly, about the Chief being "invincible", that's simply a sterotypical image for the big fella in this story, showing off how much of a "badass" that he is in the eyes of many fans. My intent when I wrote those pieces was for the readers to just assume he found a way out of his problema 'cause, well, he's "teh chief". As I've said before, this was written as a comedy (whether you find it all that funny or not), which partially explains why Little Sparky-the Flood Infection Form-speaks (with his "Godfather-like" personality, aside form his use of the word "mate"). This is also why the Grunts were able to pilot a UNSC fighter (though I suppose I could see why you'd disagree with that one). If I included Darth Vader drinking a milk shake in this story, I have a feeling you would've made some criticism 'bout that as well.
Now about the "rift in time", seeing as how this is a fan-fiction, I was unaware that that kind of logic was required.

In reply to Zaxhar:

Touche, my friend.

[Edited on 07.22.2007 11:30 PM PDT]

  • 07.22.2007 11:13 PM PDT
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Ahh, a new chapter, fresh outta the oven . . . Or where ever Fan fics come from.

  • 07.23.2007 12:02 PM PDT
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"Don't you trust me?'
"No, I can't say that I do."
"Good, you'll live longer."

Posted by: Rare_Spartan
[quote]Posted by: magey10
i do not mean any offense in what i will say here it may seem offensive but i am just a blunt person

first of all dont use the word BEAMED in ur fanfics i have seen u use it many times and some1 else even told u u r using it wrong u still are so just dont use it
second ur explanations do not make much sense like for example when u said ""the explosion was so large it must have caused a rift in time."" time is intangible u might as well say the explosion was so large it hurt a bunch of spirits that were near it
third and most importantly THE CHIEF IS INVINCIBLE he cant die and when u said he flew into the mist because they deactivated the bridge.....
the was just nonsense u might as well said some marine corps were made were the marines had rocket boots and missile swords....
seriously it made no sense

in reply to Zaxhar:

Touche.
STILL REMEMBERING I DO NOT WANT TO OFFEND ANYBODY

why would they talk to a flood??? the only flood that can talk is gravemind and how could the flood not be able to make a big enough flood form??????
thats just stupid crap right there

also... why would the flood kill one of their allies and then negotiate with them????
its like "Hey i just killed your friend now lets make a deal!"
the only person who could do that is the godfather and he isnt in halo...

not offending anybody

and why the heck would marines get so close with their warthogs?????
u were reversing marine intelligence with grunt intelligence there...
and plasma grenades flipping it??
that would work in halo 1 the game but not in a book nor fanfic
why would a bodyguard not care about being paid???
and why would the covenant capture master chief and NOT KILL HIM???
instead they stuck a tracker up his butt.... what would be the point of that
keyes that would be possible the demon?? no freakin way

not offending


how would grunts pilot a longsword??????
and also that xxpiggyback dude would have died because his methane would have run out... (grunts breath methane that is why they have the masks)
and the covenant would have NEVER EVER approved a meeting with the hierachs for 5 grunts.. as far as the covenant is concerned grunts are cannon fodder and they would not be granted a meeting...


other than that the storyline is pretty good
o ya and my friend here says they would have to strip the mc before they could implant a tracker in his butt unless they had a nuclear syringe...
not trying 2 offend simply blunt

but other than that ur story is good and try writing about some elites next time like an elite-only story that would be cool if u already have 1 forgive me i didnt check

Firstly, about the Chief being "invincible", that's simply a sterotypical image for the big fella in this story, showing off how much of a "badass" that he is in the eyes of many fans. My intent when I wrote those pieces was for the readers to just assume he found a way out of his problema 'cause, well, he's "teh chief". As I've said before, this was written as a comedy (whether you find it all that funny or not), which partially explains why Little Sparky-the Flood Infection Form-speaks (with his "Godfather-like" personality, aside form his use of the word "mate"). This is also why the Grunts were able to pilot a UNSC fighter (though I suppose I could see why you'd disagree with that one). If I included Darth Vader drinking a milk shake in this story, I have a feeling you would've made some criticism 'bout that as well.
Now about the "rift in time", seeing as how this is a fan-fiction, I was unaware that that kind of logic was required.

In reply to Zaxhar:

Touche, my friend. <<quote


this may be only my view but i have a feeling that some other people agree with me as well and also i think fanfictions are ok i just think that the rift in time was unnecessary and really cheesy :( i just dont think you should have included it
and about the comedy part i dont really think u should write comedy anymore... no offense but i hadnt even realized it was a comedy i only even nearly laughed at a couple of the jokes in it and about the flood form the idea was ok just how u finalized it was not... u should have said it was gravemind speaking through the flood or something...
thats pretty much my whole impression of ur story. the storyline is good but i think how u finalized it could have been better

[Edited on 07.23.2007 10:11 PM PDT]

  • 07.23.2007 9:51 PM PDT

Posted by: magey10
Posted by: Rare_Spartan
[quote]Posted by: magey10
i do not mean any offense in what i will say here it may seem offensive but i am just a blunt person

first of all dont use the word BEAMED in ur fanfics i have seen u use it many times and some1 else even told u u r using it wrong u still are so just dont use it
second ur explanations do not make much sense like for example when u said ""the explosion was so large it must have caused a rift in time."" time is intangible u might as well say the explosion was so large it hurt a bunch of spirits that were near it
third and most importantly THE CHIEF IS INVINCIBLE he cant die and when u said he flew into the mist because they deactivated the bridge.....
the was just nonsense u might as well said some marine corps were made were the marines had rocket boots and missile swords....
seriously it made no sense

in reply to Zaxhar:

Touche.
STILL REMEMBERING I DO NOT WANT TO OFFEND ANYBODY

why would they talk to a flood??? the only flood that can talk is gravemind and how could the flood not be able to make a big enough flood form??????
thats just stupid crap right there

also... why would the flood kill one of their allies and then negotiate with them????
its like "Hey i just killed your friend now lets make a deal!"
the only person who could do that is the godfather and he isnt in halo...

not offending anybody

and why the heck would marines get so close with their warthogs?????
u were reversing marine intelligence with grunt intelligence there...
and plasma grenades flipping it??
that would work in halo 1 the game but not in a book nor fanfic
why would a bodyguard not care about being paid???
and why would the covenant capture master chief and NOT KILL HIM???
instead they stuck a tracker up his butt.... what would be the point of that
keyes that would be possible the demon?? no freakin way

not offending


how would grunts pilot a longsword??????
and also that xxpiggyback dude would have died because his methane would have run out... (grunts breath methane that is why they have the masks)
and the covenant would have NEVER EVER approved a meeting with the hierachs for 5 grunts.. as far as the covenant is concerned grunts are cannon fodder and they would not be granted a meeting...


other than that the storyline is pretty good
o ya and my friend here says they would have to strip the mc before they could implant a tracker in his butt unless they had a nuclear syringe...
not trying 2 offend simply blunt

but other than that ur story is good and try writing about some elites next time like an elite-only story that would be cool if u already have 1 forgive me i didnt check

Firstly, about the Chief being "invincible", that's simply a sterotypical image for the big fella in this story, showing off how much of a "badass" that he is in the eyes of many fans. My intent when I wrote those pieces was for the readers to just assume he found a way out of his problema 'cause, well, he's "teh chief". As I've said before, this was written as a comedy (whether you find it all that funny or not), which partially explains why Little Sparky-the Flood Infection Form-speaks (with his "Godfather-like" personality, aside form his use of the word "mate"). This is also why the Grunts were able to pilot a UNSC fighter (though I suppose I could see why you'd disagree with that one). If I included Darth Vader drinking a milk shake in this story, I have a feeling you would've made some criticism 'bout that as well.
Now about the "rift in time", seeing as how this is a fan-fiction, I was unaware that that kind of logic was required.

In reply to Zaxhar:

<<quote
about the flood form the idea was ok just how u finalized it was not... u should have said it was gravemind speaking through the flood or something...
But the Gravemind doesn't show up 'til Halo 2 (though I could've, if I wanted to, put him in Part One). Even if I was to reveal that (not spoilin' anything), it would be during Part Two. Regardless, I appreciate the feedback, man.

Thanks to the rest of y'all as well. I'll try to get Chapter 4 posted by Saturday.

  • 07.23.2007 11:15 PM PDT
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"Don't you trust me?'
"No, I can't say that I do."
"Good, you'll live longer."

o well gravemind is cool and it is another storyline so u should just stick him in

and also.... how do we know there is only one gravemind???


lmao i bet when some people read that they will scream i almost did because its so suspenseful

lol

[Edited on 07.24.2007 1:32 AM PDT]

  • 07.24.2007 1:30 AM PDT
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Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: magey10
i do not mean any offense in what i will say here it may seem offensive but i am just a blunt person

first of all dont use the word BEAMED in ur fanfics i have seen u use it many times and some1 else even told u u r using it wrong u still are so just dont use it
second ur explanations do not make much sense like for example when u said ""the explosion was so large it must have caused a rift in time."" time is intangible u might as well say the explosion was so large it hurt a bunch of spirits that were near it
third and most importantly THE CHIEF IS INVINCIBLE he cant die and when u said he flew into the mist because they deactivated the bridge.....
the was just nonsense u might as well said some marine corps were made were the marines had rocket boots and missile swords....
seriously it made no sense

in reply to Zaxhar:

Touche.
STILL REMEMBERING I DO NOT WANT TO OFFEND ANYBODY

why would they talk to a flood??? the only flood that can talk is gravemind and how could the flood not be able to make a big enough flood form??????
thats just stupid crap right there

also... why would the flood kill one of their allies and then negotiate with them????
its like "Hey i just killed your friend now lets make a deal!"
the only person who could do that is the godfather and he isnt in halo...

not offending anybody

and why the heck would marines get so close with their warthogs?????
u were reversing marine intelligence with grunt intelligence there...
and plasma grenades flipping it??
that would work in halo 1 the game but not in a book nor fanfic
why would a bodyguard not care about being paid???
and why would the covenant capture master chief and NOT KILL HIM???
instead they stuck a tracker up his butt.... what would be the point of that
keyes that would be possible the demon?? no freakin way

not offending


how would grunts pilot a longsword??????
and also that xxpiggyback dude would have died because his methane would have run out... (grunts breath methane that is why they have the masks)
and the covenant would have NEVER EVER approved a meeting with the hierachs for 5 grunts.. as far as the covenant is concerned grunts are cannon fodder and they would not be granted a meeting...


other than that the storyline is pretty good
o ya and my friend here says they would have to strip the mc before they could implant a tracker in his butt unless they had a nuclear syringe...
not trying 2 offend simply blunt

but other than that ur story is good and try writing about some elites next time like an elite-only story that would be cool if u already have 1 forgive me i didnt check

Firstly, about the Chief being "invincible", that's simply a sterotypical image for the big fella in this story, showing off how much of a "badass" that he is in the eyes of many fans. My intent when I wrote those pieces was for the readers to just assume he found a way out of his problema 'cause, well, he's "teh chief". As I've said before, this was written as a comedy (whether you find it all that funny or not), which partially explains why Little Sparky-the Flood Infection Form-speaks (with his "Godfather-like" personality, aside form his use of the word "mate"). This is also why the Grunts were able to pilot a UNSC fighter (though I suppose I could see why you'd disagree with that one). If I included Darth Vader drinking a milk shake in this story, I have a feeling you would've made some criticism 'bout that as well.
Now about the "rift in time", seeing as how this is a fan-fiction, I was unaware that that kind of logic was required.

In reply to Zaxhar:

Touche, my friend.


lol, sorry for correcting :P its great though for a fan-fic though, im writing one myself but it has nothing to do with any of the stories, they make reference to them but the main individuals are never mentioned in the exising Halo material. prolly goinna suck tho, meh, ill try.

  • 07.24.2007 11:49 AM PDT

Posted by: Zaxhar
Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: magey10
i do not mean any offense in what i will say here it may seem offensive but i am just a blunt person

first of all dont use the word BEAMED in ur fanfics i have seen u use it many times and some1 else even told u u r using it wrong u still are so just dont use it
second ur explanations do not make much sense like for example when u said ""the explosion was so large it must have caused a rift in time."" time is intangible u might as well say the explosion was so large it hurt a bunch of spirits that were near it
third and most importantly THE CHIEF IS INVINCIBLE he cant die and when u said he flew into the mist because they deactivated the bridge.....
the was just nonsense u might as well said some marine corps were made were the marines had rocket boots and missile swords....
seriously it made no sense

in reply to Zaxhar:

Touche.
STILL REMEMBERING I DO NOT WANT TO OFFEND ANYBODY

why would they talk to a flood??? the only flood that can talk is gravemind and how could the flood not be able to make a big enough flood form??????
thats just stupid crap right there

also... why would the flood kill one of their allies and then negotiate with them????
its like "Hey i just killed your friend now lets make a deal!"
the only person who could do that is the godfather and he isnt in halo...

not offending anybody

and why the heck would marines get so close with their warthogs?????
u were reversing marine intelligence with grunt intelligence there...
and plasma grenades flipping it??
that would work in halo 1 the game but not in a book nor fanfic
why would a bodyguard not care about being paid???
and why would the covenant capture master chief and NOT KILL HIM???
instead they stuck a tracker up his butt.... what would be the point of that
keyes that would be possible the demon?? no freakin way

not offending


how would grunts pilot a longsword??????
and also that xxpiggyback dude would have died because his methane would have run out... (grunts breath methane that is why they have the masks)
and the covenant would have NEVER EVER approved a meeting with the hierachs for 5 grunts.. as far as the covenant is concerned grunts are cannon fodder and they would not be granted a meeting...


other than that the storyline is pretty good
o ya and my friend here says they would have to strip the mc before they could implant a tracker in his butt unless they had a nuclear syringe...
not trying 2 offend simply blunt

but other than that ur story is good and try writing about some elites next time like an elite-only story that would be cool if u already have 1 forgive me i didnt check

Firstly, about the Chief being "invincible", that's simply a sterotypical image for the big fella in this story, showing off how much of a "badass" that he is in the eyes of many fans. My intent when I wrote those pieces was for the readers to just assume he found a way out of his problema 'cause, well, he's "teh chief". As I've said before, this was written as a comedy (whether you find it all that funny or not), which partially explains why Little Sparky-the Flood Infection Form-speaks (with his "Godfather-like" personality, aside form his use of the word "mate"). This is also why the Grunts were able to pilot a UNSC fighter (though I suppose I could see why you'd disagree with that one). If I included Darth Vader drinking a milk shake in this story, I have a feeling you would've made some criticism 'bout that as well.
Now about the "rift in time", seeing as how this is a fan-fiction, I was unaware that that kind of logic was required.

In reply to Zaxhar:

Touche, my friend.


lol, sorry for correcting :P its great though for a fan-fic though, im writing one myself but it has nothing to do with any of the stories, they make reference to them but the main individuals are never mentioned in the exising Halo material. prolly goinna suck tho, meh, ill try.
Hakuna Matata . Good luck with your fan-fic as well.


[Edited on 07.25.2007 10:24 PM PDT]

  • 07.24.2007 9:27 PM PDT
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"Don't you trust me?'
"No, I can't say that I do."
"Good, you'll live longer."

holy crap... what i said got copied & pasted like 6 times

wierd..

  • 07.27.2007 10:49 PM PDT

Just as a heads-up, you squirrely hamsters, the next chapter'll be posted tonight.

[Edited on 07.28.2007 12:58 PM PDT]

  • 07.28.2007 12:52 PM PDT

Chapter 4: More Wimper, Less Bang

Continuing down a series of narrow passageways, the Grunt Sargeant eventually came across a newly-latched Seraph fighter near a set of bay windows. The crimson-armored Unggoy hopped aboard. However, not more than two seconds later, a pair of six Jackals came rushing out of the ship, knocking the Grunt Sargeant back onto the station floor.
"Listen, folks," the Sargeant ordered "We can't stay here! All of y'all, back into the ship!"
Just then, however, the lead Jackal-Lop-approached the Unggoy, with nothing more than a lowered beam rifle in his right hand.
"Whoah there, gas sucker!", squaked Lop, "Who are you to be tellin' my boys what to do?"
The Grunt Sargeant pointed toward the the narrow corridor from whence he came. And there he was; the Master Chief, while he couldn't quite see them, was moving in on their position.
"Into the ship, boys!", ordered Lop.
"But wait," said one of Lop's troops "What if the others knew we chickened out?"
"Oh, please, Jep! The battlefield out there is so crowded, I'd be suprised if they even caught a glimpse of our ship. Now, c'mon!"
"Well, you guys can run, but I'm goin' out with a bang!", the Jackal remarked, as he headed down the corridor and toward the Spartan.
"Jep, you get your sorry hide back here, right now! I'm ordering you to-"
But it was too late. The Chief had spotted them, and as he continued toward the end of the passageway, he knocked the brave Jackal to the floor with the butt of his battle rifle. With that, the six remaining troops headed into the Seraph fighter and prepared for their retreat.

The three Unggoy stood just outside of their Phantom, still ever so curious about the danger that lied not too far ahead. As a white-clad Elite passed by them, Silco noticed a slight difference in his appearance from the rest of the Elites, as half of his jaw seemed to be missing.
"Hey, get a load of that guy?", Silco told his squadmates, pointing toward the seemingly deformed Sangheili.
"Stop staring!", barked Fisca in a whisper. Silco winced (as best as an Unggoy could through their protective gas mask). Eventually, after given the order, each of the squad members climbed aboard their vessels (metaphorically speaking). A moment later, three Phantoms came to life, and the aircrafts shot forward. It wasn't long before they were but mere minutes away from their destination. However, as they reached closer toward the Heretic stronghold, Fisca began to wonder if the two Prophets truly had even the slightest bit of faith in them.

[Edited on 07.28.2007 9:59 PM PDT]

  • 07.28.2007 7:56 PM PDT
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Short, sweet and to the point. As it should be.

  • 07.28.2007 11:51 PM PDT

Join the best group of all time Last Refuge!

Posted by: KidWitPotential
ya know, im proud to be an inverted player, its like we're a rare breed or something


Do NOT send me Recruitment Letters, doing so will get you blocked faster than you can say "Huh?"

Greeat work man I know someone in your previos storys has said this, but you should see if you can get some of this published

  • 07.29.2007 5:22 PM PDT