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  • Subject: Halo: Unggoy Evolved (Fan-Fic)
Subject: Halo: Unggoy Evolved (Fan-Fic)
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* kazoo *

  • 09.30.2007 9:32 PM PDT

___.............._______/```````````````:::--...
|.==,-.~;. ____:._______ __’__’__’_ _ _\=
|................--:---:--:--‘---:,, ,,, ,,, ,,,:---: /=
`-.,.__._._,,...---:::"
Truth and Reconciliation , Halo Infinities , Council of the Rising

Part 3's just in time for Halo3!

  • 09.30.2007 9:42 PM PDT

Posted by: Sludgee
* kazoo *
With a banjo to accompany it? (c wut i did thar)

October the thirteenth marks the beginning of Part III, folks. ;)

-Rarez

  • 10.01.2007 2:25 PM PDT
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Ooooooohh.

* confetti *

  • 10.04.2007 6:03 PM PDT

Yay, can't wait Rarz. ( Joins Sludgee. )

  • 10.07.2007 11:06 PM PDT

Posted by: Sludgee
Ooooooohh.

* confetti *
Don't throw everything off, yet. Save the cake (which I will not be eating) and such for Saturday.

Speaking of which, any of you unlucky blokes that entered this thread by accident, Part 3 will contain Halo 3(-related?) spoilers.

-Rarez

[Edited on 10.11.2007 4:27 PM PDT]

  • 10.11.2007 3:15 PM PDT

Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: Sludgee
Ooooooohh.

* confetti *
Don't throw everything off, yet. Save the cake (which I will not be eating) and such for Saturday.

Speaking of which, any of you unlucky blokes that entered this thread by accident, Part 3 will contain Halo 3(-related?) spoilers.

-Rarez
Yay; can't wait, you've gotten me hooked on this fanfic; I realy can't wait, I don't have H3 yet nor an xbox360!

  • 10.12.2007 1:21 PM PDT

Posted by: silverblade18
Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: Sludgee
Ooooooohh.

* confetti *
Don't throw everything off, yet. Save the cake (which I will not be eating) and such for Saturday.

Speaking of which, any of you unlucky blokes that entered this thread by accident, Part 3 will contain Halo 3(-related?) spoilers.

-Rarez
Yay; can't wait, you've gotten me hooked on this fanfic; I realy can't wait, I don't have H3 yet nor an xbox360!
And you're still gonna read it? Good golly, mate! :O

  • 10.12.2007 10:03 PM PDT

Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: silverblade18
Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: Sludgee
Ooooooohh.

* confetti *
Don't throw everything off, yet. Save the cake (which I will not be eating) and such for Saturday.

Speaking of which, any of you unlucky blokes that entered this thread by accident, Part 3 will contain Halo 3(-related?) spoilers.

-Rarez
Yay; can't wait, you've gotten me hooked on this fanfic; I realy can't wait, I don't have H3 yet nor an xbox360!
And you're still gonna read it? Good golly, mate! :O
What! I'm commited to the story; plus I can't afford an xbox 360 just yet, plus not enough games that I like yet.

  • 10.13.2007 5:47 PM PDT

oh mah gawd he be postin' spoilerz get bant

Halo: Unggoy Evolved

Part III

Chapter 1: Predetermined Rant

"They let me pick." said Cortana, "Did I ever tell you that? Choose whichever Spartan I wanted. You know me. I did my research. Watched as you became the soldier we needed you to be. Like the others, you were strong and swift and brave; a natural leader. But you had something they didn't. Something no one saw but me. Can you guess?
"Luck."

The early morning sun streamed through the canopy, and onto the foreground, where the Master Chief appeared lifeless. Two marines stared blankly at the armored figure, while the other-wearing a sargeant's cap-was facing the other direction.
"This ain't good." said one of the marines.
"Damn" the other said under his breath, "How far did he fall?"
"Two kilometers, easy."
The man in the sargeant's cap turned to face the Chief. It was him; the best of the best. Sargeant Avery Johnson.
"Stay sharp!" barked the sargeant, as he moved closer toward the gauntlet. While there were no damages to be seen on the armor itself, the demon inside appeared, again, lifeless.
"Corpsman?" said Johnson.
"His armor's locked up." replied the marine, dancing his fingers around his computer keyboard, "Gel layer could've taken most of the impact.
"I don't know, Sargeant Major."
Johnson kneeled toward the Spartan, placing a hand on his chest (feeling for breath and the like). After a quick sigh, the sargeant reached his hand back, and takes what appeared to be a chip out of the back of the Master Chief's head.
"Radio for VTOL, heavy lift gear." said Johnson, "We're not leavin' him here."
Just then, a large, armored hand grabbed the sargeant's wrist.
"Yeah. You're not." said a now motioned Chief, as if his voice couldn't get any raspier. The Spartan pulls himself back onto his feet, while the sargeant scoffs at him.
"Crazy fool. Why do you always jump?" asked a flabbergasted Avery, "One o' these days, you're gonna land on somethin' as stubborn as you are! And I don't do bits and pieces."
As in most cases, the Chief said nothing, but simply took the small chip from Johnson's hand, staring at it for a moment.
"Where is she, Chief? Where is Cortana?"
The Master Chief paused, then quickly placed the chip back into his noggin.
"She stayed behind." answered the Spartan.
"Corporal, make it quick."
"Sorry, sir." the marine said to the Chief, "Your armor's still in partial lockdown."

Master Chief examines his surroundings; plants. Lots and lots of plants, he thought to himself.
Just then, the heat-wave effect of a Covenant active camouflage came into view.
"I"ve retrieved the berries that you have-"
Without allowing the creature to finish his sentence, the Chief dashed forward, grabbed a pistol from a nearby marine, and jammed it between the mandibles of the Elite.
"Chief, wait! The Arbiter's with us!" Johnson barked.
"Come on now. We got enough to worry about without you two tryin' to kill each other."
The Spartan hesitated, though eventually lowered his weapon. The Arbiter shrugged at the Chief, and said, "Were it so easy."
"Yeah, that's right! Don't mess Arby!" exclaimed a familiar tone. From behind the Sangheili came three Unggoy. It appeared to be none other than Pillow, Fisca, and XxxPiggybackXxxx, who instead of wearing their black-coated Spec-Ops armor, now wore something relatively close to that of the UNSC marines. At least in terms of colour. (that would be a camouflaged green, folks)
"We must go." said the Arbiter, "The brutes have our scent."
"Then they must love the smell of-"
"Wait a minute!" exclaimed Pillow, interupting the sargeant, "How did this story begin?"
"With the chief," answered the corporal, "Of course."
"Ok, let's get somethin' straight here. This is our story. Read the title, folks. Unggoy Evolved."
"Gee, and you wonder why we weren't included in the Legendary Edition." Fisca sighed.
"Don't worry, lads." Piggyback said optimistically, "I'm sure that if the writer milks this series long enough, we'll be included in The Cortana Chronicles: Part Deux."

The Grunt Sargeant finally awoke, greated by several UNSC marines, the majority of which staring at him like a pack of hyenas.
"Hey, he's awake!" said one of the marines.
"Wait, don't shoot!" exclaimed the Grunt Sargeant, "I come in peace."
"Man, if I had a nickle for every time I heard that, I'd be one rich son of o' gun." scoffed one of the marines.
"He could be tellin' the truth. I mean, why else would they put him in this cell?"
"Dude. It's a grunt." said a marine blankly.
"Still, I suggest we back off for now. He ain't got no weapons, first of all."
"Man, if I had a nickle for every time I heard that, I'd be one rich son of o' gun."
"Er, I think you already used that one." said the crimson-armored Unggoy.
"Hey, it ain't my fault." replied the soldier, "Both my combat and mission dialogue are limited."
"So, what do we do?"
"Well, if it'll help with you asking questions all the time," said the same marine, "Have this."
"Whadd'ya talkin' about, son? That was my first question!"
"Yeah, well, I'm just sick of listenin' to ya." the marine scoffed, tossing the Unggoy a harmonica.
The Grunt Sargeant examined the musical instrument, pressing it up against his air-breather. The following tune was that of Danny Boy.

[Edited on 10.13.2007 8:10 PM PDT]

  • 10.13.2007 6:36 PM PDT

"Both my combat and mission dialogue are limited."
That's funny

  • 10.13.2007 7:24 PM PDT

He watches every Hodgetwin video they put up...on ALL their channels. He calls them the Hodge Triplets, and considers himself the 3rd triplet. He's started talking and acting like them now. Every other line out of his mouth "Thaaas some BULLLLLL**** maaayne" or "Gotta make dem gainzzzz". He calls his biceps "gains". When he eats post-workout, he talks to his biceps, "Don't worry gains, I'm feeding you. Daddys gonna feed you, gainz *kisses biceps*".

Excellent stuff! I'm not entirely caught up, but I'm getting there... This is hilarious!

  • 10.13.2007 8:38 PM PDT

Okay; Rare; I was not expecting this; already I'm impressed. Keep it up, can't wait for the next installment.

  • 10.14.2007 2:28 PM PDT
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Berries?

  • 10.14.2007 9:49 PM PDT

Posted by: Sludgee
Berries?
Indeed, lolz.

  • 10.15.2007 4:41 AM PDT
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Great start Rare. This is the only real reason I still go on the Halo 2 forums.

  • 10.15.2007 10:02 AM PDT

Thanks, fellas, as well as anybody else that took the time to read this first chapter. Chapter 2 should be out the door on Saturday.

-Rarez

  • 10.17.2007 9:54 AM PDT

Posted by: DeeJ
Why don't you just give me ONE SECOND!

Wewt :)

  • 10.19.2007 8:36 AM PDT

Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Thanks, fellas, as well as anybody else that took the time to read this first chapter. Chapter 2 should be out the door on Saturday.

-Rarez
Wart, Wart, Wart!

  • 10.19.2007 4:56 PM PDT

Chapter 2: Pardon Our Hegemony

For several days now, the Grunt Sargeant and his motley crew (which consisted almost entirely of UNSC marines) catered to each and every one of the Brutes' needs. From sharpening their claws to rating the stench level of their breath, the Jiralhanae of this sector had to be in tip-top shape for the arrival of their Chieftain. How like all slaves, these sad saps would be punished severely if ever they failed to fulfill their purpose. On one occasion, a marine was forced to watch an entire episode of Days of Our Lives. The conditions were fatal.
Today, the prisoners were forced to-for whatever reason-swing the rubble next to their jailhouse into the river below, using only shovels.
"Man, I can't take this crap no more." said one marine, "I'm bustin' outta here! Who's with me?"
"Man, if I had a nickle for every time I heard that, I'd be one rich son of o' gun.", replied another with his most frequently used piece of a dialogue.
"Dude, shut up." ordered the crew's bandana-wearing comrade, "Don't try it, man. You remember what happened to Noguchi."
"Speaking of lost men, has anybody seen Koeplin?" asked the determined troop.
"Beats me." answered the marine wearing a bandana, "How 'bout you, little guy?"
"Nope, can't say I have." the Unggoy answered.
Just then, a heavily-armored brute came stomping toward their location, with what appeared to be another marine being held by the neck. This was no doubt the much talked about Chieftain, who had survived countless battles, had fended off thousands of enemies.
The Grunt Sargeant looked closer at the marine, who appeared to be none other than Sargeant Johnson, whose last encounter involved the marine trying to eliminate the Unggoy with a machine gun turret.
The Brute Chieftain approached the jailhouse, though before he could enter, the shot of an SRS99D-S2 AM Sniper Rifle rendered the Jiralhanea lifeless.
"What in the blazes was-"
The crimson-armored Unggoy was interupted by several more bursts, eliminating the patrolling Kig-Yar (all of which stood on seperate rooftops). The Grunt Sargeant scanned the southern region, where a grunt wearing a dark blue shade of armor had her rifle placed on a relatively short stand. This was immediately recognized as Chrille, the female Unggoy that had accompanied the Sargeant on his trip to Earth (and Hackle's mate). How the two of them were even seperated in the first place, he was unsure.

Once all of the patrolling ground forces had been dealt with, a UNSC Pelican burst unto the scene, it's guns pumping massive amounts of lead into the two remaining defenses- Phantoms. In less than thirty seconds, each of the two Covenant spacecraft had been reduced to rubble, as they slowly drifted into the jungle's calm rivers.
Approximately three minutes later, after scanning the complex for any (enemy) survivors, Chrille approached the working crew near the jailhouse, causing the marines-who were now able to see her-aimed their weapons closely.
"Don't shoot!" exclaimed the Unggoy, "She's with me."
Just then, five more familiar figures came into view. Accompanied by the Arbiter, the Master Chief, and Piggyback, Fisca and Pillow rushed toward their commander, reunited at last.
"Sarge, you made it!" cheered Pillow, giving the crimson-armored grunt a ginormous hug. Without hesitant, the southern-accented Unggoy pushed his soldier away.
"Good golly, men, I can't believe you're still hangin'! What's he doin' here, though?" asked the Grunt Sargeant, poiting toward the easily recognizable Piggyback.
"Let's just say we cut the guy a bit of slack." Fisca answered optimistically.
"Where's Silco?" asked their Sargeant. His two men looked downward, nodding; he sighed.
"One more thing," asked the Unggoy, "What's with the armor colour?"
"Hey, if we're gonna be siding with the humans, we might as well wear their armor. Besides, we could easily be mistaken for an enemy on the battlefield." answered Fisca.
The Grunt Sargeant paused for a moment, examined the marine-based camouflage further, then said, "I want one."
"I'll make a note of it, sir. Now, we'd best be off. There's a Pelican just outside." The Sargeant nodded to Fisca, as he and his men (with Johnson following in behind with his marines) followed the the Arbiter and the Chief onto the Pelican just by the docks.
With everybody locked in, the Pelican took flight. The Grunt Sargeant, now reunited with (most of) his squad, felt as if a megaton weight had been lifted from his shoulders; he felt like things were finally looking up. Why shouldn't he, though, with the Arbiter by his side?

[Edited on 10.20.2007 8:56 PM PDT]

  • 10.20.2007 8:48 PM PDT

Posted by: DeeJ
Why don't you just give me ONE SECOND!

Lol motley crew...

  • 10.20.2007 11:22 PM PDT

Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
Lol motley crew...
As Wikipedia is to be believed, it's a cliché for a roughly-organized assembly of characters, and tons of other five-dollar words.

The more you know...

O ic wut u did thar

[Edited on 10.21.2007 11:03 AM PDT]

  • 10.21.2007 7:51 AM PDT

Join the best group of all time Last Refuge!

Posted by: KidWitPotential
ya know, im proud to be an inverted player, its like we're a rare breed or something


Do NOT send me Recruitment Letters, doing so will get you blocked faster than you can say "Huh?"

On one occasion, a marine was forced to watch an entire episode of Days of Our Lives. The conditions were fatal.
lol

  • 10.21.2007 5:36 PM PDT

Chrille kicks @#$, she soo rules, annother great chapter Rarez'!

  • 10.21.2007 9:06 PM PDT
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Anyone notice someone had been missing off the forums for about a couple of weeks? That would be me people. heh heh.

Loved the ending and the new beginning especially this part

"Both my combat and mission dialogue are limited."

  • 10.22.2007 7:05 PM PDT