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  • Subject: Halo: Unggoy Evolved (Fan-Fic)
Subject: Halo: Unggoy Evolved (Fan-Fic)

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Truth and Reconciliation , Halo Infinities , Council of the Rising

broken hand? oooooh

well good luck typing more masterpieces!

  • 11.07.2007 5:39 PM PDT

* Flinches * Well I hope that your hand heals well and quickly; broken bones can be such a -blam- ; good luck with the hand mate. peace.

  • 11.07.2007 7:27 PM PDT
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Broken bones are bad, they ruin everything.

Now is the perfect oppurtunity to learn how to play
Halo with your feet.

  • 11.08.2007 6:40 PM PDT

Posted by: Sludgee
Broken bones are bad, they ruin everything.

Now is the perfect oppurtunity to learn how to play
Halo with your feet.
While I bet my talents are that vast, I actually was able to play the 360 pretty well- even with the cast (which covers my middle, ring, and pinky fingers). On tuesday morning, however, before I discovered the true extent of the damage, I decided to go into a lesson in pain. I did this by poppin' in Super Mario 64. Now, those of you familiar with the game, there is a sequence in the game in which you have to swing Bowser by his tail using the analog-stick. I used my palm to spin the Koopa around; suffice to say, Bowser owned mah arse.

Thanks for all of the tender, Hallmark card-based comments, folks. I should only have this thingy on for about two weeks. I'm also still not entirely sure if I'll be headin' to the football game, so the verdict as to whether or not the next chapter will be posted this week is still at a 'maybe'. ;)

-Rarez

[Edited on 11.08.2007 8:24 PM PST]

  • 11.08.2007 8:24 PM PDT

This chapter of Halo: Unggoy Evolved was brought to you by My Right Hand. Oh, yeah, and kudos to Uberdawg for his insight on the ghetto.

Chapter 5: Brute Zone

The five Unggoy awoke, each lying on seperate-but matching-cushions. This box of a room was brightly-lit, with the walls painted with a shade od either yellow or pink. What happened? Where were they?
"Hey, they're awake!" exclaimed a rather low, yet strong voice. All of a sudden, two Jiralhanae stormed into the room, wearing no armor whatsoever.
"Argh, what the hell?" the Grunt Sargeant spoke softly, his head throbbing.
"We foundy you lovely Unggoy just outside of our house. We thought you might-"
Just then, the Arbiter stormed in from the other room, his energy sword pointed straight toward one of the brutes.
"Stand aside, unworthy adversary!" the Sangheili threatened.
"Please, don't!" cried the other brute, speaking for the first time, "We mean you no harm!"
Bewildered by the personality in this beast, the Arbiter lowered his weapon. Now back to a peaceful state of mind, the Jiralhanae said, "Come. Lunch is ready."
The grunts hopped off of their mattresses, following the the Arbiter (who continued to keep a close eye on the beasts) and the welcomers into the dining room. This chamber-much larger than the former, contained one, fairly large, wooden table. On the far, left side of the table sat what was probably one of the most disturbing creatures the crew had ever seen. With two, sharp front-teeth and small chunks of fur scattered throughout its arms, this abomination was indentified as a brute child.
"Please, sit." said one of the brutes cheerfully. All but the Arbiter hesitated, each taking a seat the farthest away from that awful creature holding the rattle. Infront of each of them sat a bowl, containing a rather grotesque substance; green.
"I love you." said both of the brutes simultaneously, their lips meeting.
"So," Fisca said regretabbly, "You two....live together?"
"But of course.", one of the beasts smiled when just then, a large, spherical object rose to the top of Chrille's bowl. It was the head of the Yanme'e chieftain.
"What in the world?" she asked, looking closer into the severed head.
"Mommy, I want Jackal!" whined the child.
"Not now, Gracey!" said the brute, "Maybe for dinner."
"Er, would you excuse us?" asked the Grunt Sargeant hesitantly. The couple nodded-smiling-as the commander lead his crew back into the cramped bedroom.
"What kinda sick, perverse madhouse is this place!" the sargeant whispered, huddled around his squad.
"Whadda we do?" asked Pillow, frowning.
"Follow me."
The five grunts left the bedroom, creeping towards the front door, just to the right of the dining room table. Immediatley spotted, a brute said, "Leaving so soon? We were just about to-"
Just then, the door slammed open, as two marines pumped continuous pieces of lead into the brute sitting just next to the child. The creature's face fell forward, and into the drone-squeezed concoction.
"He was my lover!" shouted the other brute, tipping the table over with his hands. As the Jiralhanae approached the marines, the Arbiter lunged forward, slamming the blade of his energy sword through its stomach. As the lifeless brute fell before the marines, the Sangheili gave a quick sigh.
"Man, these foo's just don't know!" snapped the Arbiter, "They. Just. Don't. Know!"

[Edited on 11.10.2007 6:50 PM PST]

  • 11.10.2007 6:26 PM PDT

He watches every Hodgetwin video they put up...on ALL their channels. He calls them the Hodge Triplets, and considers himself the 3rd triplet. He's started talking and acting like them now. Every other line out of his mouth "Thaaas some BULLLLLL**** maaayne" or "Gotta make dem gainzzzz". He calls his biceps "gains". When he eats post-workout, he talks to his biceps, "Don't worry gains, I'm feeding you. Daddys gonna feed you, gainz *kisses biceps*".

My gosh, that was the best chapter yet! This part was the best:

"We foundy you lovely Unggoy just outside of our house. We thought you might-"

The sudden "he was my lover!" had me roaring, too. And seeing the Arbiter go gangstah again was AWESOME.

So pretty much... gud 1 rare keep it up!!1!!!1

P.S. That's too bad about your hand. How'd ya break it?

[Edited on 11.10.2007 7:28 PM PST]

  • 11.10.2007 7:27 PM PDT

Posted by: Uberdawg

P.S. That's too bad about your hand. How'd ya break it?
Oh, I think I'll have to save that for an XBL chat. ;)

  • 11.10.2007 9:09 PM PDT
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Ugh, Yan-me'e chowder . . . The whole thing was disturbing, but in a very good way.

:-)

Arbiter actually says his gangstah line pretty often. Well, it depends on how many times you shoot him,
I suppose.

  • 11.11.2007 1:21 AM PDT

Posted by: DeeJ
Why don't you just give me ONE SECOND!

*dies lolling*

Ghey brutes.... lololololo....

  • 11.11.2007 11:09 AM PDT

"Men cry not for themselves, but their comrades."

"A hero need not speak. When he is gone, the world will speak for him."

Dude, that's a shame, what happened to your hand. At least it hasn't affected your writing! Great chapters, Rare! Also, gangsta Arbiter is awesome! Keep it up!

  • 11.11.2007 11:00 PM PDT

Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
*dies lolling*

Ghey brutes.... lololololo....
Danke. ;)

But, Mr. Sludgee, that's actually true. =O This was probably one of the first, really disturbing chapters, so far.....Hope to have a lot more of that. ^_^

Thanks for the feedback, Arbiter. (That's funny) Chapter 6 should be out this Saturday, assuming I don't break another hand, tonight. O' course, I could just take Sludgee's suggestion in using my feet to do stuff. (other than walkin' and climbin' trees)

  • 11.13.2007 5:34 AM PDT
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Typing with your toes might be a bit much . . .

  • 11.13.2007 6:12 PM PDT

Posted by: Sludgee
Typing with your toes might be a bit much . . .
Fair enough.

  • 11.13.2007 7:10 PM PDT

Wow, just, wow, Yan Me'e chowder, a brute baby, and two ghey brutes! Can this get any weirder? Annother great chapter, man, keep 'em comming man, I likey this story more every chapter.

  • 11.14.2007 6:31 PM PDT

Posted by: silverblade18
Wow, just, wow, Yan Me'e chowder, a brute baby, and two ghey brutes! Can this get any weirder? Annother great chapter, man, keep 'em comming man, I likey this story more every chapter.
Buggers, brutes, and babies, oh mah! =O

  • 11.14.2007 7:41 PM PDT

-=-=-=-=-=-=
bR's R fUn
-=-=-=-=-=-=

Did anybody actually read this -blam!-? You seem really bored man go get a ho.

  • 11.14.2007 8:18 PM PDT

-=-=-=-=-=-=
bR's R fUn
-=-=-=-=-=-=

I'm sorry i really can't read this i just find it soooo boring. I tried twice i read like 3 sentences then i was done.

  • 11.14.2007 8:21 PM PDT
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do you like muffins?

ok
Posted by: NotShookImCold
I'm sorry i really can't read this i just find it soooo boring. I tried twice i read like 3 sentences then i was done.

ok...Go read Harry Potter then.

  • 11.14.2007 8:29 PM PDT

No thanks, I already own most of them and have read all but the last one; I am about three quarters of the way through the last one and I find this more exiting than all of the Harry Potter books combined, no offense too anyone who likes them but I prefer this story and the Eragon books, but thats just me.

  • 11.14.2007 10:42 PM PDT
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Posted by: NotShookImCold
Did anybody actually read this -blam!-? You seem really bored man go get a ho.


He's just expressing himself.

His sense of humour and his like of Halo.

  • 11.15.2007 2:36 AM PDT

Posted by: Sludgee
Posted by: NotShookImCold
Did anybody actually read this -blam!-? You seem really bored man go get a ho.


He's just expressing himself.

His sense of humour and his like of Halo.
....and I think my obsession with manta-rays sneeked in there as well.

But to answer your question, Mr. Cold, I er....think a couple people might have. :/

[Edited on 11.15.2007 3:11 PM PST]

  • 11.15.2007 3:06 PM PDT
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Yeah, they just might have . . .

  • 11.16.2007 6:19 PM PDT
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A recurring mistake I've noticed was"sargeant". Unless there is an alternative spelling I'm not aware of, I believe it is "sergeant", as in "Sergeant Johnson". A minor mistake, but when writing, it's generally good form to make sure that the titles are right.

Anyway, just pointing it out. Keep the Grunty Goodness coming!

  • 11.16.2007 9:22 PM PDT

Posted by: Malrohir
A recurring mistake I've noticed was"sargeant". Unless there is an alternative spelling I'm not aware of, I believe it is "sergeant", as in "Sergeant Johnson". A minor mistake, but when writing, it's generally good form to make sure that the titles are right.

Anyway, just pointing it out. Keep the Grunty Goodness coming!
So it is. Nearly two years of writing about these fellas, and I spelt part of the main character's name wrong. =O Thanks for pointin' that out, dear sir.

I will certainly keep the Grunty Goodness comin', though. Should be a pretty long read, this week.

[Edited on 11.16.2007 10:43 PM PST]

  • 11.16.2007 9:34 PM PDT

Yay! More Grunty Goodness!

  • 11.16.2007 11:55 PM PDT