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  • Subject: Halo: Unggoy Evolved (Fan-Fic)
Subject: Halo: Unggoy Evolved (Fan-Fic)

This chapter was brought to you by My Right Hand, and sponsored in part by the So Sleepy it's Epic foundation.

Chapter 6: An Abomination Named Gracey

The five Unggoy stared blankly at the carnage that had just occured. Fisca, Pillow, and the Grunt Sergeant were fixed on the Jiralhanae with its head lying inside of a bowl of Yanme'e stew, while Piggyback and Chrille had their eyes on the corpse resting just next to the front door. The brute "infant", however,sat laughing, unaware of its parents' demise.
"Damn," boomed one of the two marines, nudging the head of the sword-stricken corpse, "Nice goin', Arby!"
"Ah, you bastard! Now I'm hungry." barked the other marine, reminiscing of-at the risk of ruining a perfectly solid joke for all of the nubcakes out there-his employment at a local Arby's resturant.
"Humans," said the Arbiter, "Where are we?"
"Why, Voi, of course! Popular for its-"
"Ok, we don't need a grand spankin' tour of the place." the Grunt Sergeant winced.
"Voi?" asked the Arbiter, "But these brutes-"
Just then, the body near the front door that was believed to be a corpse began to rise.
"Ok, so, we didn't find you right outside of our home, but you get the idea."
The hungry marine frowned, placed a magnum into the brute's mouth, thereby spewing a fairly large amount of brain tissue onto the floor.
"Dang, this writer just makes stuff up as he goes along, doesn't he?" said the marine.
"Yeah, pretty much." said Pillow, "Just run with it."
"What about that thing?" asked the hungry marine, pointing his assault rifle towards the child.
"I'll take the brute." said the Arbiter, "I will show her the ways of the Sangheili, hopefully turning her into one of my own. Come now, my child."
"What. The heck. Are you talking about?" asked Chrille, staring at the Arbiter, who was now holding the brute within his arms.
"C'mon." the marines nodded, "There's a Pelican outside."
The others nodded, and as they exited the front door, there stood a vast, dust-striken highway, with no sign of activity other than the dropship hovering just to their right.
"I must go now, Unggoy." the Arbiter stated, "This Jiralhanae's brain must be cleansed of all things brute."
"Wait, you can't just leave, mate!" exclaimed Piggyback.
"Sure I can!" boomed the Sangheili, hopping aboared the dropship, "I'm the Arbiter, biatch!"

  • 11.18.2007 1:12 AM PDT
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Well this just keeps getting better and better.

Good work, best chapter yet!

* thumbs up *

  • 11.18.2007 2:41 AM PDT

Posted by: DeeJ
Why don't you just give me ONE SECOND!

Lol, keep writing like that, It's teh best, seriously. Give them all goofy senses of humor XD

  • 11.18.2007 11:01 AM PDT
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Arbiter gangsta thats awesome...lol "The writer must make this up as he goes along" that got me

  • 11.18.2007 2:09 PM PDT

I can't believe I just heard the Arbiter say " Biatch " ; that is soo funny; yet another great chapter, keep 'em commin'.

  • 11.18.2007 8:35 PM PDT
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Posted by: silverblade18
I can't believe I just heard the Arbiter say " Biatch " ; that is soo funny; yet another great chapter, keep 'em commin'.


Technically, you were reading it. You were reading it, right?

>.> <.<

  • 11.18.2007 10:49 PM PDT

Yes Sludgee, I read it, I was just makeing a statement about something, ma' friend.

  • 11.18.2007 10:51 PM PDT

Posted by: Sludgee
Well this just keeps getting better and better.

Good work, best chapter yet!

* thumbs up *
Seriously? When I wrote/typed it, I was tired as heck. I wonder....(not rly, lawl)

Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
Lol, keep writing like that, It's teh best, seriously. Give them all goofy senses of humor XD
Gee, thanks! =D

Posted by: silverblade18
I can't believe I just heard the Arbiter say " Biatch " ; that is soo funny; yet another great chapter, keep 'em commin'.
Well, you may be rather let-down, this week, then. Arby's gone. :'(

  • 11.19.2007 1:27 PM PDT


Posted by: silverblade18
I can't believe I just heard the Arbiter say " Biatch " ; that is soo funny; yet another great chapter, keep 'em commin'.[/quote]Well, you may be rather let-down, this week, then. Arby's gone. :'(
Huh? I don't get you rare.

  • 11.19.2007 8:15 PM PDT

___.............._______/```````````````:::--...
|.==,-.~;. ____:._______ __’__’__’_ _ _\=
|................--:---:--:--‘---:,, ,,, ,,, ,,,:---: /=
`-.,.__._._,,...---:::"
Truth and Reconciliation , Halo Infinities , Council of the Rising

LOL the arbiter being gangasta'

FOO'
BIATCH

how's the hand and the playing halo with your feet coming along?

  • 11.20.2007 8:26 PM PDT

Posted by: blackke7995
LOL the arbiter being gangasta'

FOO'
BIATCH

how's the hand and the playing halo with your feet coming along?
Pretty good, though I'm actually gettin' the cast off today. (Tis one o' clock in the mornin' over here in OK/Transylvania) There is a possible chance of a new chapter later on (as in 'today); we'll see. ;)

-Rarez

[Edited on 11.20.2007 11:57 PM PST]

  • 11.20.2007 11:56 PM PDT

He watches every Hodgetwin video they put up...on ALL their channels. He calls them the Hodge Triplets, and considers himself the 3rd triplet. He's started talking and acting like them now. Every other line out of his mouth "Thaaas some BULLLLLL**** maaayne" or "Gotta make dem gainzzzz". He calls his biceps "gains". When he eats post-workout, he talks to his biceps, "Don't worry gains, I'm feeding you. Daddys gonna feed you, gainz *kisses biceps*".

Good chapter! Dude, I can't wait to see what you do with this Brute baby... LOL!

  • 11.21.2007 4:49 PM PDT

This chapter was brought to you by Both My Right and Left Hands.[/Happy Thanksgiving]

Chapter 7: Gears of Wuh?

The Grunt Sergeant and his squad hunched their backs against the edge of the vast, rubble-laden highway, unsure of their next objective.
"So," asked Fisca, "why didn't we just hitch a ride with the Arbiter?"
Pillow looked to his right, staring feavorishly at his comrade. "You saw the leather on those seats. No way was I gonna hop in there!" he said. Fisca nodded unfavorably, looked at the Sergeant sitting to his right and said, "So, Sarge, you never did tell as about your trip away."
"You mean when I went to that space station?" the Grunt Sergeant said rhetorically, "Well, I did meet somebody."
"Oh, well look at you, Sarge!" exclaimed Pillow suggestively. (Reader: What teh fark!)
"Who was it. Another Grunt?" asked Fisca.
"Actually," replied the Grunt Sargeant, leaning forward, "It was a Jackal."
Pillow gasped. "Now, Sarge. You know not to get involved with them. Those gals are rotten scum! Nothing more."
"Scum." stated Fisca, "A layer of impurities that accumulates at the surface of a liquid (especially water or molten metal)."
"When did I say this Jackal was female?" the Grunt Sergeant winced. Fisca and Pillow's jaws dropped.
"Sarge. Is there something you want to tell us?" asked Pillow. Their Sergeant sat for a moment to wrap his head around their misunderstanding, spit inside of his airbreather, and exclaimed, "No, no! Not like that! He was just a squad partner. We got off on a bumpy start, but soon, we became really good pals."
"What happened to the lad?" Piggyback entered the conversation.
"After the Demon killed the Prophet of Regret, the temple we were standing on was destroyed. That's when I met you two with that big, ugly, plant thingy. But Lop- I never saw him again, the poor fella. I could've saved 'im."
"Hey, don't blame yourself." said Fisca, "You have us."
"Ah, who gives a flip about you three." the Grunt Sergeant mocked, "I'm sick of making friends, and then losing 'em days later."
"Those are the gears of war." Chrille said, sitting several feet away from the rest of the crew.
"Wait-" said a suprised Piggyback, "Did you just-"
"Gears of War™ , now for the PC." she winked, "Avaiable at a Gaming Grunts™ store near you."
"Jee, are we that popular now?" asked Fisca.
"Didn't you hear?" asked the Grunt Sergeant, "We're up to about seven readers, now. That's quite an achievement after nearly two years of this stuff."
"So, onto a more meaningful subject:" said Fisca, "What were you doing before you caught back up with us?"
"Trust me. You don't wanna know." Chrille replied.
"Yes, I do." Fisca said.
"Well, if you must pry-"
"I must, I must."
"Well," she said, "I was first stationed on Earth. I was the Deacon during a sabatoge expedition to eliminate the human pistol."
"Why that weapon?" asked Pillow.
Chrille paused for a moment, then said, "It was too good."
"And with that said," asked Piggyback, "What are we supposed to be doing?"
"Well, we were trying to find Hackle, but once we got to Earth, Chrille and I got shot out of the airlock." the Grunt Sergeant replied.
"Oh, yes. I remember him!" Piggyback exclaimed, "Good lad. Why isn't he here?"
"He's chosen to stay with the Covenant." said Fisca.
"And why are we going after him?"
"We're gonna try to bring the boy back to our side, o' course." said the Sergeant.
"And what makes you think he'll listen?" Piggyback asked.
"Why, we've got Chrille here." he answered, "Once he finds his lovebird caught up with us, he'll come rushing back to our side."
"Not a very good reason to switch sides, if you ask me. The lass might as well just join him."
The Grunt Sergeant paused. "Well, would you like it if we threatened to kill him?"
"Now, I like the sound of-"
Just then, an loud screech came from above, and racing past their heads was an enormous CCS-class Battlecruiser. The Unggoy's eyes followed the cruiser's path. Within seconds, their gaze was fixed on the relatively large crater just east of the highway, and the Forerunner Dreadnought planted within its center.

[Edited on 11.22.2007 12:12 AM PST]

  • 11.21.2007 9:38 PM PDT

Posted by: DeeJ
Why don't you just give me ONE SECOND!

Ftw.

  • 11.22.2007 12:16 AM PDT

OMG, Lop, I liked him! Annother great Chapter rare, as always!

  • 11.22.2007 10:18 PM PDT

Posted by: silverblade18
OMG, Lop, I liked him!
But Silverblade, the moral of this chapter was to not get involved with Jackals. >;D

  • 11.23.2007 6:56 PM PDT

*sniffs* Ya, but I think they're cool, tho!

  • 11.23.2007 8:42 PM PDT
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its almost 1 in the morning *yawn* i liked this chapter GOW part was very funny

  • 11.24.2007 9:27 PM PDT
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Very good. But what's wrong with leather seats? Unless the vehicle had been left in the sun for too
long, I see no reason why they would be a bad thng . . .

  • 11.25.2007 3:20 AM PDT

Chapter 8: Get Ready...Go!

"Hackle's on that ship." said the Grunt Sergeant, staring provocatively at the excavation site, beyond.
"So, what's the plan?" asked Fisca. The Sergeant looked to his left, where-to his suprise-stood a rather large, cratelike building; a warehouse. And just to the right of the (entry's) sliding doors sat two vehicles, whose appearance was similar to that of a Helicopter's.
"Huh. Can't believe we didn't notice that earlier." Pillow said blankly.
"Alright." ordered the Grunt Sergeant, "Chrille and Piggyback, y'all will take those two aircrafts. Get on that ship!"
"What about you?" asked Chrille.
"Pillow, Fisca, and I will head into this-here building. It's time to take some action!"
"Ah, just great.", Fisca sighed.

The cruiser previously known as Hail of Fortitude-and currently known as Uncle Dirtnap-sailed viciously through Slipspace, unable to cope with the loss of structure.
"Ah, you bloody idiots! We're going to crash!" barked Little Sparky, currently in possession of a Sangheili. The immense, bulbous figure that stood before began to shake its brown, suctionlike tentacles. Mostly out of anger.
"Quit your whinin', lad! We'll get there." said the Brain Form, whose only purpose was to pilot Uncle Dirtnap. Unsuprisingly, Brain Forms are incapable of engaging in direct combat.
"Yeah, well you better." barked Sparky, pointing at an unattended corpse to this right, "I didn't come aboard this ship to end up like him."
"Right. You joined because of force. I'm a Proto-Gravemind, after all. That means I'm next in line for supreme ruler of the Flood."
"Don't rub it in."

With the warehouse as empty as a new pair of shoes, the Grunt Sergeant and his two comrades exited through the back entryway, where they stood on an immense field of rain-swept gravel. UNSC marines raced across the track, while riding ontop of small, yet speedy motorcycles.
"Woohoo!" shouted one of the marines, raising his hand into a fist when-just then-the ground below them began to quake.
"What. Was. That?" asked Pillow; the small, T-shaped console next to the three Unggoy came to life, revealing the Prophet of Truth's limp figure.
"Be praised, my brothers!" said the holographic San 'Shyuum, "Our enemy must now face the true might of our Covenant!"
Seconds later, four oversized girrafes lept onto the mucky foreground, with small devices (that looked similar to a movie projector) strapped to the top of the their heads. As the mechanism on one of their head's lit, an enormous blast of plasma struck a nearby Warthog. With that, one of the Pelicans up-high began to descend; the Arbiter lept out.
"Wuz happenin'?" barked the Sangheili, "Let's show these foo's how we be kickin' it ol' skool!"

  • 11.25.2007 2:53 PM PDT

Posted by: DeeJ
Why don't you just give me ONE SECOND!

*hug*

  • 11.25.2007 3:33 PM PDT
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What the blazes . . . More giraffes.

  • 11.26.2007 2:05 AM PDT

What is it with you and Giraffes? Great chapter tho.

  • 11.26.2007 11:01 PM PDT

Posted by: silverblade18
What is it with you and Giraffes? Great chapter tho.
Now, if only the fight was finished in Amuricah, then none of this giraffe malarkey would have occured. Infact, they probably would've had to go up against vicious Covenant poodles.

  • 11.27.2007 5:44 AM PDT

He watches every Hodgetwin video they put up...on ALL their channels. He calls them the Hodge Triplets, and considers himself the 3rd triplet. He's started talking and acting like them now. Every other line out of his mouth "Thaaas some BULLLLLL**** maaayne" or "Gotta make dem gainzzzz". He calls his biceps "gains". When he eats post-workout, he talks to his biceps, "Don't worry gains, I'm feeding you. Daddys gonna feed you, gainz *kisses biceps*".

Posted by: Rare_Spartan
The cruiser previously known as Hail of Fortitude-and currently known as Uncle Dirtnap-sailed viciously through Slipspace


LOLOL... Uncle Dirtnap. So much win!

Also, good to see those giraffes! Can't wait fo' mo'.

  • 11.27.2007 1:18 PM PDT