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This topic has moved here: Subject: Halo: Unggoy Evolved (Fan-Fic)
  • Subject: Halo: Unggoy Evolved (Fan-Fic)
Subject: Halo: Unggoy Evolved (Fan-Fic)

Posted by: Uberdawg
Posted by: Rare_Spartan
The cruiser previously known as Hail of Fortitude-and currently known as Uncle Dirtnap-sailed viciously through Slipspace


LOLOL... Uncle Dirtnap. So much win!
A great name for a crappy band, isn't it?

Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
*hug*
;) <3

Posted by: Sludgee
What the blazes . . . More giraffes.
"Not while I'm holdin' this sword, foo'!" says the Arbiter.

I'll try to get the next chapter out on Saturday, folks. Let's have a nice week! =D

-Rarez

  • 11.28.2007 4:37 PM PDT

Okay; can't wait!

  • 11.28.2007 8:23 PM PDT
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Alright! Make sure you eat your greens.

  • 11.28.2007 11:06 PM PDT

Posted by: Sludgee
Alright! Make sure you eat your greens.
Back off, foo'! You ain't mah momma. ;)

  • 11.29.2007 1:13 PM PDT
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Fine, eat some pie instead then. :P

  • 11.29.2007 5:56 PM PDT
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Wait for it...wait for it....ITS HERE!

  • 12.01.2007 9:20 AM PDT

Chapter 9: Arbywulf

"Woah, nice job Arbiter!" cheered Pillow, standing on the edge of the mud-laiden (and relatively large) cliffside.
"Wait!" exclaimed Fisca, "What the heck just happened?" The Arbiter frowned-as best as a Sangheili could-.
"Would you like to hear the story of how I slew these monstrous creatures?" asked the Arbiter.
"Actually, I think we should just go and-"

Noon had arisen, and with it giraffes. Again and again the monsters attack. Foul beasts, from the depths of hell! I hacked and slashed at these foul beasts with my sword, spilling their guts off the cliff edge. And then...one of them seized me by its jaws. It dragged me off the edge. I....killed the monster with my own blade. I...plunged it into its heart.

"Wow."
"Woah."
"Awe." the three Unggoy swelled up with tears.

Uncle Dirtnap continued to move rapidly through slip space, nearing ever closer towards its destination. Little Sparky's presence kept the Proto-Gravemind, Bart, cheery. The creature's bulbous appearance was highly respected by the working class, though it never quite helped him at making friends. Ever since they left their carrier form, however, the two had been best mates. And nothing was going to change that.
"I need to get to Earth! Hurry up, you slow bastard!"
"Hey," Bart exclaimed, "Why are you in such a hurry, lad?"
"I've got a bone to pick with a couple folks. It's nothin'."
"Oooh.", Bart shook his tentacles with fear.
"What is it?" asked the Sangheili corpse.
"The man upstairs ain't gonna like that, Spark. You need to stay focused towards the mission at hand."
"Ah, the man upstairs? He's never going to find out, mate! Just you-"
Just then, the flood-infested corridor shook violently. To Sparky's suprise, the Gravemind- it was listening.
"Little one: Into my office, immediately!"

[Edited on 12.02.2007 12:15 PM PST]

  • 12.02.2007 1:23 AM PDT
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Lololololol. I'mma win!

Any more monsterous giraffes ahead?

  • 12.02.2007 1:47 AM PDT

Posted by: DeeJ
Why don't you just give me ONE SECOND!

Depths >_>

  • 12.02.2007 12:11 PM PDT

Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
Depths >_>
*Reads through*

Orly?

  • 12.02.2007 12:17 PM PDT

Posted by: DeeJ
Why don't you just give me ONE SECOND!

Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
Depths >_>
*Reads through*

Orly?

Very much so. I am aware that the firefox dictionary IS crap, but.. >_>
<_<
>_>

  • 12.02.2007 12:20 PM PDT

Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
Depths >_>
*Reads through*

Orly?

Very much so. I am aware that the firefox dictionary IS crap, but.. >_>
<_<
>_>
Ouch. :'(


NOTE: Ah don't use firefox.....Oops.

[Edited on 12.02.2007 1:55 PM PST]

  • 12.02.2007 12:23 PM PDT

Posted by: DeeJ
Why don't you just give me ONE SECOND!

Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
Depths >_>
*Reads through*

Orly?

Very much so. I am aware that the firefox dictionary IS crap, but.. >_>
<_<
>_>
Ouch. :'(

NOTE: Ah don't use firefox.....Oops.

...
Phail.

  • 12.02.2007 12:31 PM PDT

Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
Depths >_>
*Reads through*

Orly?

Very much so. I am aware that the firefox dictionary IS crap, but.. >_>
<_<
>_>
Ouch. :'(

NOTE: Ah don't use firefox.....Oops.

...
Phail.
You chose this. You go home.

  • 12.02.2007 12:36 PM PDT

Posted by: DeeJ
Why don't you just give me ONE SECOND!

Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
Depths >_>
*Reads through*

Orly?

Very much so. I am aware that the firefox dictionary IS crap, but.. >_>
<_<
>_>
Ouch. :'(

NOTE: Ah don't use firefox.....Oops.

...
Phail.
You chose this. You go home.


That was weak. You disgrace me.

  • 12.02.2007 12:38 PM PDT

Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
Depths >_>
*Reads through*

Orly?

Very much so. I am aware that the firefox dictionary IS crap, but.. >_>
<_<
>_>
Ouch. :'(

NOTE: Ah don't use firefox.....Oops.

...
Phail.
You chose this. You go home.


That was weak. You disgrace me.
Maybe you just don't like parody, is all.

And since I can't include 'Your Mom' jokes here, I give up. >_>

[Edited on 12.02.2007 12:45 PM PST]

  • 12.02.2007 12:43 PM PDT

Posted by: DeeJ
Why don't you just give me ONE SECOND!

I was all in joking content >_>

  • 12.02.2007 12:45 PM PDT

Posted by: HaIoChick4Ever
I was all in joking content >_>
Iknorite. ;)

[Edited on 12.02.2007 1:29 PM PST]

  • 12.02.2007 1:27 PM PDT

Gravemind! I hate Gravemind! Annother realy good chapter, especialy with the Beowulf reference! I just saw it yesterday eve!

  • 12.02.2007 8:02 PM PDT

Posted by: silverblade18
Gravemind! I hate Gravemind! Annother realy good chapter, especialy with the Beowulf reference! I just saw it yesterday eve!
T'was the awesome sauce, wasn't it? ;D

By the way, I'm thinking of releasing only two more chapters this year, and then start back up in January. That's right, I'm abandoning some of you!

-Rarez

[Edited on 12.03.2007 8:58 PM PST]

  • 12.03.2007 8:55 PM PDT

Noo, don't leave us! No realy it's akay man, 'twas just jokeing, I can wait!

  • 12.04.2007 3:37 PM PDT
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Oh noes!

Alright, but these next chapters had better be good to make up for it!

:P

  • 12.04.2007 3:47 PM PDT

Lo sludgee! I toyaly agree with sludgee on this one!

  • 12.04.2007 9:39 PM PDT

Chapter 10: Homecoming

"....Lashing fire for all that remains when we, the worthy, have passed beyond." said a holographic Truth from ontop of a relatively short pedestal. The Arbiter-the three Unggoy following-approached the San 'Shyuum and said, "I will not be shamed. Not again. Not by you!" The Sangheili slung his plasma rifle forward, sending several small sparks through the air, along with fragments of the damaged projector.
"Hey, what's the Demon doin'?" asked the Grunt Sergeant, pointing to the far side of the V-shaped passageway (from the exterior of the warehouse), where the Master Chief was crouching his body up-and-down the seemingly lifeless body of a Kig-yar soldier.
The Arbiter marched angrily toward this obscenity, disgusted.
"You think it's fun to mock your opponents in this fashion?" barked the Sangheili.
"Argh!" squaked the apparently living creature, "I spit on your visor, Demon!"
"Let him die quickly!" the Arbiter shouted, walking away. And as the Demon moved onward, the three Unggoy pointed their plasma pistols directly toward the birdlike creature's skull.
"Kill me yourself!" shouted the Kig-yar, raising his head forward. The Arbiter closed his eyes for a brief moment, then turned back toward the soldiers.
"So," asked the Sangheili, "You want your name in the book of the Arbiter? That it should end with me being killed by some Kig-yar with no name?"
"My name is Glop!" shouted the creature, now standing back on his feet, "And my name shall be remembered forever!"
"Only if you kill me!" shouted the Arbiter, his energy sword now shining through the sun's rays, "Otherwise, you're nothing." The noble Sangheili threw his sword onto the floor, walking closer toward the Kig-yar, who now held a Brute Shot (Type-25 Grenade Launcher).
"Now, let me tell you something." the Covenant Seperatist said, ripping pieces of his armor off one at a time, "The gods will not allow me to die by your feeble weapon! The gods will not allow me to be taken by any parasite! The gods will not allow me to pass in my sleep!" The Sangheili ripped the last piece of his armor off, revealing the Mark of Shame branded on his chest.
"Now, Glop, strike me hear, and end my life!"
The Kig-yar, now struck with fear, nervously held the Brute Shot over his head, nearly ready to plunge the launcher's blade into the alien's heart.
"Unggoy, give him his sword or I'll-I'll-"
"You'll what?" shouted the Arbiter, "Kill me? Then go on, do it! Kill me! Kill me!!"
Glop closed his eyes, sighed, then dropped his weapon onto the floor, along with himself. The Arbiter walked forward, looked down apon the Kig-yar and said, "You know why you can't kill me my friend? Because I died what seems like years ago."
The Arbiter turned backward, preparing to put his armor back onto his body, "That's enough parody for now. Come, Unggoy."
"Huh? Where are we goin' now?" asked Pillow.
"Into battle." the Arbiter replied.
"Wait- did you just say 'into battle'?", Fisca gulped.
"But of course. Surely, you didn't think those asses were going to kick themselves?"

"Your office?" asked Little Sparky, "But my liege, you're still hangin' out at High Chari-"
Just then, the Combat Form's vision blurred, and now appeared to be standing within what was once the Council Chamber of the Covenant's holy city, High Charity. But now, this hall was simply writtled with Brain Forms, its atmosphere poisoned by countless flood spores.
The large, snakelike tentacles of the Gravemind oozed from the bottom of the elevator shaft, creeping towards poor Sparky.
Silence fills the empty grave, now that I am gone.
But my mind is not at rest, for questions linger on.
Now I will ask and you will answer.
"Please, your majesty." begged Little Sparky, "I didn't mean-"
"Do I look fat to you?" asked the Gravemind, its entire figure plopped ontop of the shaft, its physic as mangled as a bowl of noodles.
"Sir, I don't know how to-"
"Do I. Look fat?" the creature asked again.
"Um, no, my lord. You're....glowing?"
"Really? You're so sweet!" exclaimed the creature, its voice more playful than ever before. Sparky's vision blurred once again, as he was teleported back into the control room of Uncle Dirtnap.
"What the bloody hell was that all about?"

The hillside was littered with Covenant corpses, the only notice of sound of plasma fire coming from the Anti-Air (AA) Gun standing on all three legs at the top of the hill.
"What happened here?" asked Fisca.
"Looks like somebody beat us to the punch." the Grunt Sergeant said with a small bit of optimism.
"Spartan." whispered the Arbiter, staring blankly at the Master Chief, who was pumping countless bursts from him his assault rifle into the belly of the enormous AA Gun. The crew raced to the top of the hill, where, not far from the cliff edge, stood the Forerunner Dreadnought.
"Sergeant, can your hear me? This is Chrille. We are inside the ship. I repeat: We are inside the ship. Over." the Unggoy spoke through the Sergeant's radio.
"I hear ya. Good work!" replied the Grunt Sergeant, tipping his (army) cap forward with relief when, just then, half-a-dozen UNSC Frigates began firing onto the ship's seemingly weak exterior.
"Chrille, you still with us?" barked the Unggoy.
"Yeah." she replied, "Just a bit shakey there."
"Wow, that was a lot of people dying at once!", they heard Piggyback saying in the background. The head of the gun behind them fell off of its torso, and off of the cliff edge. To their suprise, the Mater Chief was alive and well, his assault rifle slung over his back.
Seconds later, the ground below the Forerunner ship began to lower, opening a rather large crater, its sides opening wide open like the petals of a flower. What followed was a large, blue beam, rocketing into the swirling vortex in the sky.

The Arbiter growled moments later, as the Dreadnought drifted into the gigantic, blue sphere that hovered just above the crater.
"Chrille, come in! Over." shouted the Grunt Sergeant. There was no answer.
"Hey, look!" exclaimed Pillow, pointing to the left of the huge pedestal. It was a CCS Battlecruiser. However, there was something not quite right about it, as this one was covered in a rancid, green-red. The ship flew just over the crew's heads, and crashed just next to the warehouse they had just moments ago walked out of.
The Flood had arrived.

[Edited on 12.05.2007 7:54 PM PST]

  • 12.05.2007 7:20 PM PDT

He watches every Hodgetwin video they put up...on ALL their channels. He calls them the Hodge Triplets, and considers himself the 3rd triplet. He's started talking and acting like them now. Every other line out of his mouth "Thaaas some BULLLLLL**** maaayne" or "Gotta make dem gainzzzz". He calls his biceps "gains". When he eats post-workout, he talks to his biceps, "Don't worry gains, I'm feeding you. Daddys gonna feed you, gainz *kisses biceps*".

LOLOLOL. I loved Gravemind asking if he/she/it looked fat... that was hilarious!

However, I must ask, the scene with the Arbiter walking towards the Jackal as he took his armor off... what movie/book was that a parody from? I wish I knew when I read it first :(

  • 12.05.2007 8:09 PM PDT