- Rare_Spartan
- |
- Exalted Legendary Member
Chapter 11: Pimps of the Caribbean
"Alright, you ungrateful ninnies!" shouted Bart, as countless numbers of every existing form (save the (Proto) Gravemind) exited the ship through an enormous passageway (which was once the left wall of the control room), "Move out!"
"You comin', mate?" asked Little Sparky, his snout lifting upward.
"Aw, Spark. We've been through this.", Bart sighed.
"But-"
"Listen, mate." he said, "My duty was in gettin' this ship to Earth. Now that it's been done, I've gotta stay here."
"I ain't leavin' you behind." said Sparky.
"Don't worry, lad. Time will see to it that we meet again. Now, go make me proud!"
"Right." Little Sparky said, lowering his snout in disappointment. The combat form then walked down the ramp, following his parastic brethren outside of Uncle Dirtnap.
"1-2-3-Not it!" Said all but one member of the crew, as they stared deep into the Flood ship's interior.
"Dive into the pit, Spartan." said the Arbiter.
"Well, you know I would." replied the Spartan, "But, you see. I have this asthma problem, so-"
"Get yo' ass down there, biatch!" exclaimed the Sangheili, pushing the Master Chief into the seemingly bottomless pit. The Grunt Sergeant walked a few inches forward, trying to get a clearer view of his fall. However, the mudlike substance below his feet caused him to follow, sending him into the pit as well.
The Grunt Sergeant opened his eyes, only to find himself in a puddle of bright liquid; coolant. The inside of the Covenant ship was unlike anything he'd ever seen before. The walls were branched with a very sunctionlike material. And instead of the average purple, blue, or red seen on Covenant cruisers, the walls of this ship were almost entirely covered in a rancid, yellow-orange.
Just then, the Grunt Sergeant's vision began to blur, and the passageway before him seemed to move farther away from him.
Do not be afraid. I am piece; I am salvation.
The Unggoy's vision regained its regularity. The Grunt Sergeant tipped his cap forward and said, "What in sam hell was that?"
I am a timeless chorous. Join your voice with mine, and sing victory everlasting.
"Okay, okay. Just tell me the lyrics and I'll-"
I was speaking metaphorically, you insolent twat! the unknown voice shouted.
"So, there won't be any singin', then?" asked the Grunt Sergeant.
Well....There is one song I do know. But you'll just laugh.
"No, I won't!" exclaimed the Unggoy, "Go ahead." There was a cough coming from the mysterious voice.
My momma said, you can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
She said, love don't come easy
How much more must I-
"Alright, that's enough!" barked the Grunt Sergeant.
Wait- You don't like it?
"I didn't say that."
Well, did you-
"Oh, would you look at the time?" said the Grunt Sergeant, looking at his left wrist. "I best be goin'. We'll keep in touch, alrighty?"
But....I is a monument to all your sins. =(
And there it was. He knew that voice sounded familiar. This was the Gravemind, and apparently, it was fliriting with him.
"Are you flirting with me?"
Please, stay with me.
"Listen, bud." said the Grunt Sergeant, "You're nice and all, but it would never work out between us. I mean, you're a ginormous, snake thingy. And I'm- I'm just a grunt. Aren't there any others of your kind out there?"
Your selfishness blinds you, sinner! And so you shall be punished!
"Wait, what?" Just then, the figure of what appeared to be another Unggoy grew out of the biomass to the Sergeant's right.
"Sarge....Help me." said the impaled Unggoy.
"Silco?" asked the Grunt Sergeant.
"Please, get me down from here.", the grunt coughed two Flood spores out of his mouth, then sighed.
"What happened to ya, son?", the Grunt Sergeant frowned.
"I lost a game of I-Spy to the Gravemind." Silco replied, his eyes facing downward.
"Don't worry. I'll get you down from there!" the Grunt Sergeant said, as he began to remove Silco's arm's from the biomass.
"No, stop!" exclaimed Silco, sending half a dozen more flood spores out of his mouth.
"But you just said-"
"Not like that." Silco explained, "You must find the dead man's chest."
"The what?"
"The dead man's chest." repeated the impaled Unggoy, "Find the Ark. You'll learn everything there."
"But wait. I don't understand! What is the-" Silco's body shrunk back into the wall. He was gone. Just then, a bright light gazed on the Grunt Sergeant, and as he looked upward, there was a Covenant Phantom, hovering just above the broken ceiling.
"Sarge, get in!" shouted Pillow. The Unggoy looked back at the wall. What the hell was going on? Where was this Ark. And more importantly, what was it? He had time enough for that later. Right now, the Grunt Sergeant had to get out of this place, to avoid any further flirtations from the Gravemind. And so, the cap-wearing Unggoy approached the gravlift, thereby lifting him into the enterior of the Phantom. The Covenant-based aircraft left the ship, and entered the CCS cruiser hovering just next to the enormous, blue sphere that formed well over an hour ago. The cruiser known as Shadow of Intent.
"Will it live, Oracle? Can it be saved?" asked Commander Rtas 'Vadum, his hands resting on his short, hovering throne. The Master Chief and the Arbiter stood by 343 Guilty Spark, near the middle of the flat structure before them. The three Unggoy stood just across from them, with the elderly Hood, as well as Captain Miranda Keyes, standing on the side across from Rtas.
"Uncertain." answered the monitor, fiddling with a small, purple-coated object, "This storage device has suffered considerable trauma. Its matrices are highly unstable."
"Perhaps one of our technicians-"
"That will not be necessary." Rtas interupted Hood when, just then, the device sprang to life, revealing a holographic image of Cortana.
"Chief!" she exclaimed.
"Success!" cheered Guilty Spark.
"High Charity, the Prophets' holy city, is on its way to Earth," Cortana said, "with an army of Flood.
"I can't tell you everything. It's not safe. The Gravemind.....it knows I'm in the system."
"It's just a message." said the Chief.
"Yes, and therefore, it does not matter, correct?" the Arbiter said sarcastically.
"Let it play." replied the half-jawed 'Vadum.
"But it doesn't know about the portal." the AI continued, "Where it leads. On the other side, there's a solution. A way to stop the Flood, without firing the remaining Halo rings." Just a couple seconds later, Cortana was on her knees, crying desperately.
"Hurry Chief." she said softly, "The Ark. There isn't much time." The transmission ended.
"I'm sorry." Guilty Spark said.
"No matter, Oracle." replied 'Vadum, "We've heard enough.
"Our fight is through the portal. With the brutes and bastard Truth!" his fellow Sangheili cheered, with a small squeak coming from Pillow.
"Fine.", Hood sighed, "We'll remain here. Hold out as long as we can."
"Did you not hear? Your world is doomed." said Rtas, "A Flood army. A Gravemind has you in its sights. You barely survived a small contamination.
"And you, Shipmaster, just glassed half a continent!" barked Hood, "Maybe the Flood isn't all I should be worried about."
"One single Flood spore can destroy a species. Were it not for the Arbiter's counsel, I would've glassed your entire planet!"
What followed was a rather dreary debate between Miranda and Hood. And in the end, the half-jawed Sangheili and his crew of Covenant Seperatists reigned supreme in the department of badassery.
"Alright. Is there anything else you need?" asked Hood.
"Actually, there is." replied Rtas, "From now on, you shall refer to me as $hitmaster."