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Subject: Halo: Unggoy Evolved (Fan-Fic)

Posted by: Uberdawg
LOLOLOL. I loved Gravemind asking if he/she/it looked fat... that was hilarious!

However, I must ask, the scene with the Arbiter walking towards the Jackal as he took his armor off... what movie/book was that a parody from? I wish I knew when I read it first :(
He's ripper, slasher, terror. He's the teeth in the darkness, the talons in the night.

He's teh Beowulfz! =O

[Edited on 12.05.2007 9:42 PM PST]

  • 12.05.2007 9:25 PM PDT
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Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: Uberdawg
LOLOLOL. I loved Gravemind asking if he/she/it looked fat... that was hilarious!

However, I must ask, the scene with the Arbiter walking towards the Jackal as he took his armor off... what movie/book was that a parody from? I wish I knew when I read it first :(
He's ripper, slasher, terror. He's the teeth in the darkness, the talons in the night.

He's teh Beowulfz! =O


Again? :P

  • 12.06.2007 1:47 PM PDT

Posted by: Sludgee
Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: Uberdawg
LOLOLOL. I loved Gravemind asking if he/she/it looked fat... that was hilarious!

However, I must ask, the scene with the Arbiter walking towards the Jackal as he took his armor off... what movie/book was that a parody from? I wish I knew when I read it first :(
He's ripper, slasher, terror. He's the teeth in the darkness, the talons in the night.

He's teh Beowulfz! =O


Again? :P
Would you have preferred it if he said "This. Is. Sparta!!"? =P

(I'm sure everybody would)

Just wanted to get his jabs in before I put the literary spotlight back on the grunts. ;)

[Edited on 12.06.2007 1:55 PM PST]

  • 12.06.2007 1:54 PM PDT

That. Was. Awsome Rarez; keep em comming!

  • 12.06.2007 6:48 PM PDT

Posted by: silverblade18
That. Was. Awsome Rarez; keep em comming!
But mom! =(

Yeah, I'll have the next chapter out, tomorrow. Not sure if it'll really be the last one of the year, though. ;)

  • 12.07.2007 9:16 PM PDT
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(\__/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
(")_(") signature to help him gain world domination.

that was kick ass!!! lol

  • 12.07.2007 10:48 PM PDT

Chapter 11: Pimps of the Caribbean

"Alright, you ungrateful ninnies!" shouted Bart, as countless numbers of every existing form (save the (Proto) Gravemind) exited the ship through an enormous passageway (which was once the left wall of the control room), "Move out!"
"You comin', mate?" asked Little Sparky, his snout lifting upward.
"Aw, Spark. We've been through this.", Bart sighed.
"But-"
"Listen, mate." he said, "My duty was in gettin' this ship to Earth. Now that it's been done, I've gotta stay here."
"I ain't leavin' you behind." said Sparky.
"Don't worry, lad. Time will see to it that we meet again. Now, go make me proud!"
"Right." Little Sparky said, lowering his snout in disappointment. The combat form then walked down the ramp, following his parastic brethren outside of Uncle Dirtnap.

"1-2-3-Not it!" Said all but one member of the crew, as they stared deep into the Flood ship's interior.
"Dive into the pit, Spartan." said the Arbiter.
"Well, you know I would." replied the Spartan, "But, you see. I have this asthma problem, so-"
"Get yo' ass down there, biatch!" exclaimed the Sangheili, pushing the Master Chief into the seemingly bottomless pit. The Grunt Sergeant walked a few inches forward, trying to get a clearer view of his fall. However, the mudlike substance below his feet caused him to follow, sending him into the pit as well.

The Grunt Sergeant opened his eyes, only to find himself in a puddle of bright liquid; coolant. The inside of the Covenant ship was unlike anything he'd ever seen before. The walls were branched with a very sunctionlike material. And instead of the average purple, blue, or red seen on Covenant cruisers, the walls of this ship were almost entirely covered in a rancid, yellow-orange.
Just then, the Grunt Sergeant's vision began to blur, and the passageway before him seemed to move farther away from him.
Do not be afraid. I am piece; I am salvation.
The Unggoy's vision regained its regularity. The Grunt Sergeant tipped his cap forward and said, "What in sam hell was that?"
I am a timeless chorous. Join your voice with mine, and sing victory everlasting.
"Okay, okay. Just tell me the lyrics and I'll-"
I was speaking metaphorically, you insolent twat! the unknown voice shouted.
"So, there won't be any singin', then?" asked the Grunt Sergeant.
Well....There is one song I do know. But you'll just laugh.
"No, I won't!" exclaimed the Unggoy, "Go ahead." There was a cough coming from the mysterious voice.
My momma said, you can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
She said, love don't come easy
How much more must I-
"Alright, that's enough!" barked the Grunt Sergeant.
Wait- You don't like it?
"I didn't say that."
Well, did you-
"Oh, would you look at the time?" said the Grunt Sergeant, looking at his left wrist. "I best be goin'. We'll keep in touch, alrighty?"
But....I is a monument to all your sins. =(
And there it was. He knew that voice sounded familiar. This was the Gravemind, and apparently, it was fliriting with him.
"Are you flirting with me?"
Please, stay with me.
"Listen, bud." said the Grunt Sergeant, "You're nice and all, but it would never work out between us. I mean, you're a ginormous, snake thingy. And I'm- I'm just a grunt. Aren't there any others of your kind out there?"
Your selfishness blinds you, sinner! And so you shall be punished!
"Wait, what?" Just then, the figure of what appeared to be another Unggoy grew out of the biomass to the Sergeant's right.
"Sarge....Help me." said the impaled Unggoy.
"Silco?" asked the Grunt Sergeant.
"Please, get me down from here.", the grunt coughed two Flood spores out of his mouth, then sighed.
"What happened to ya, son?", the Grunt Sergeant frowned.
"I lost a game of I-Spy to the Gravemind." Silco replied, his eyes facing downward.
"Don't worry. I'll get you down from there!" the Grunt Sergeant said, as he began to remove Silco's arm's from the biomass.
"No, stop!" exclaimed Silco, sending half a dozen more flood spores out of his mouth.
"But you just said-"
"Not like that." Silco explained, "You must find the dead man's chest."
"The what?"
"The dead man's chest." repeated the impaled Unggoy, "Find the Ark. You'll learn everything there."
"But wait. I don't understand! What is the-" Silco's body shrunk back into the wall. He was gone. Just then, a bright light gazed on the Grunt Sergeant, and as he looked upward, there was a Covenant Phantom, hovering just above the broken ceiling.
"Sarge, get in!" shouted Pillow. The Unggoy looked back at the wall. What the hell was going on? Where was this Ark. And more importantly, what was it? He had time enough for that later. Right now, the Grunt Sergeant had to get out of this place, to avoid any further flirtations from the Gravemind. And so, the cap-wearing Unggoy approached the gravlift, thereby lifting him into the enterior of the Phantom. The Covenant-based aircraft left the ship, and entered the CCS cruiser hovering just next to the enormous, blue sphere that formed well over an hour ago. The cruiser known as Shadow of Intent.

"Will it live, Oracle? Can it be saved?" asked Commander Rtas 'Vadum, his hands resting on his short, hovering throne. The Master Chief and the Arbiter stood by 343 Guilty Spark, near the middle of the flat structure before them. The three Unggoy stood just across from them, with the elderly Hood, as well as Captain Miranda Keyes, standing on the side across from Rtas.
"Uncertain." answered the monitor, fiddling with a small, purple-coated object, "This storage device has suffered considerable trauma. Its matrices are highly unstable."
"Perhaps one of our technicians-"
"That will not be necessary." Rtas interupted Hood when, just then, the device sprang to life, revealing a holographic image of Cortana.
"Chief!" she exclaimed.
"Success!" cheered Guilty Spark.
"High Charity, the Prophets' holy city, is on its way to Earth," Cortana said, "with an army of Flood.
"I can't tell you everything. It's not safe. The Gravemind.....it knows I'm in the system."
"It's just a message." said the Chief.
"Yes, and therefore, it does not matter, correct?" the Arbiter said sarcastically.
"Let it play." replied the half-jawed 'Vadum.
"But it doesn't know about the portal." the AI continued, "Where it leads. On the other side, there's a solution. A way to stop the Flood, without firing the remaining Halo rings." Just a couple seconds later, Cortana was on her knees, crying desperately.
"Hurry Chief." she said softly, "The Ark. There isn't much time." The transmission ended.
"I'm sorry." Guilty Spark said.
"No matter, Oracle." replied 'Vadum, "We've heard enough.
"Our fight is through the portal. With the brutes and bastard Truth!" his fellow Sangheili cheered, with a small squeak coming from Pillow.
"Fine.", Hood sighed, "We'll remain here. Hold out as long as we can."
"Did you not hear? Your world is doomed." said Rtas, "A Flood army. A Gravemind has you in its sights. You barely survived a small contamination.
"And you, Shipmaster, just glassed half a continent!" barked Hood, "Maybe the Flood isn't all I should be worried about."
"One single Flood spore can destroy a species. Were it not for the Arbiter's counsel, I would've glassed your entire planet!"
What followed was a rather dreary debate between Miranda and Hood. And in the end, the half-jawed Sangheili and his crew of Covenant Seperatists reigned supreme in the department of badassery.
"Alright. Is there anything else you need?" asked Hood.
"Actually, there is." replied Rtas, "From now on, you shall refer to me as $hitmaster."

  • 12.08.2007 2:04 PM PDT
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Out of the Darkness, a raucous, snorting laughter could be heard above the drip
of some poor soul's nose, bouncing off the walls and reverberating through the
foundations of the psyche. Someone was pleased . . .


:)

  • 12.08.2007 3:38 PM PDT

Posted by: Sludgee
Out of the Darkness, a raucous, snorting laughter could be heard above the drip
of some poor soul's nose, bouncing off the walls and reverberating through the
foundations of the psyche. Someone was pleased . . .


:)
Alright, fine. I'll send you full song in a PM. >_>

Sludgee loves himself some Philly C's. ;D

EDIT: Well, to my own suprise, this thread was actually able to last one year. Thanks for supportin' this fan-fic, folks (specifically those who are still reading it). ;)

-Rarez

[Edited on 12.09.2007 8:30 AM PST]

  • 12.08.2007 3:49 PM PDT

He watches every Hodgetwin video they put up...on ALL their channels. He calls them the Hodge Triplets, and considers himself the 3rd triplet. He's started talking and acting like them now. Every other line out of his mouth "Thaaas some BULLLLLL**** maaayne" or "Gotta make dem gainzzzz". He calls his biceps "gains". When he eats post-workout, he talks to his biceps, "Don't worry gains, I'm feeding you. Daddys gonna feed you, gainz *kisses biceps*".

Posted by: Rare_Spartan
What followed was a rather dreary debate between Miranda and Hood. And in the end, the half-jawed Sangheili and his crew of Covenant Seperatists reigned supreme in the department of badassery.
"Alright. Is there anything else you need?" asked Hood.
"Actually, there is." replied Rtas, "From now on, you shall refer to me as $hitmaster."


LOLOLOLOLOLOL... Great chapter, even though I never saw Dead Man's Chest (I see your mother's all the time, and that's good enough for me).

  • 12.09.2007 3:51 PM PDT

Posted by: Uberdawg
Posted by: Rare_Spartan
What followed was a rather dreary debate between Miranda and Hood. And in the end, the half-jawed Sangheili and his crew of Covenant Seperatists reigned supreme in the department of badassery.
"Alright. Is there anything else you need?" asked Hood.
"Actually, there is." replied Rtas, "From now on, you shall refer to me as $hitmaster."


LOLOLOLOLOLOL... Great chapter, even though I never saw Dead Man's Chest (I see your mother's all the time, and that's good enough for me).
You keep 'er outta dis, foo'! >: (

  • 12.09.2007 4:20 PM PDT

Now, now, Play nice!

  • 12.09.2007 9:33 PM PDT
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Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: Sludgee
Out of the Darkness, a raucous, snorting laughter could be heard above the drip
of some poor soul's nose, bouncing off the walls and reverberating through the
foundations of the psyche. Someone was pleased . . .


:)
Alright, fine. I'll send you full song in a PM. >_>

Sludgee loves himself some Philly C's. ;D

EDIT: Well, to my own suprise, this thread was actually able to last one year. Thanks for supportin' this fan-fic, folks (specifically those who are still reading it). ;)

-Rarez


Okay, # 1 - Call me ignorant, but I have no idea what you just said.

# 2 - Congrats!!!!!

  • 12.09.2007 11:47 PM PDT

Posted by: Sludgee
Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: Sludgee
Out of the Darkness, a raucous, snorting laughter could be heard above the drip
of some poor soul's nose, bouncing off the walls and reverberating through the
foundations of the psyche. Someone was pleased . . .


:)
Alright, fine. I'll send you full song in a PM. >_>

Sludgee loves himself some Philly C's. ;D

EDIT: Well, to my own suprise, this thread was actually able to last one year. Thanks for supportin' this fan-fic, folks (specifically those who are still reading it). ;)

-Rarez


Okay, # 1 - Call me ignorant, but I have no idea what you just said.

# 2 - Congrats!!!!!
#1 - You are not, dear sir. I'm just a very bizzare creature.

#2 - Gee, thanks, Mister! =)

  • 12.10.2007 12:17 AM PDT
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Works for me. So, no new chapters till January or so?

  • 12.10.2007 3:52 PM PDT

Posted by: Sludgee
Works for me. So, no new chapters till January or so?
Most likely, yes. ;)

  • 12.14.2007 2:00 PM PDT
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Well, until then, I'll wait right here picking my nose.

Right Here.
VVVVVVVVV

  • 12.14.2007 2:28 PM PDT

He watches every Hodgetwin video they put up...on ALL their channels. He calls them the Hodge Triplets, and considers himself the 3rd triplet. He's started talking and acting like them now. Every other line out of his mouth "Thaaas some BULLLLLL**** maaayne" or "Gotta make dem gainzzzz". He calls his biceps "gains". When he eats post-workout, he talks to his biceps, "Don't worry gains, I'm feeding you. Daddys gonna feed you, gainz *kisses biceps*".

I'll be picking my nose as well.

But Rare, in the mean time, despite many of your ideas being voiced to me on XBL, I'm still not clear on just what you intend to do after Halo: Unggoy Evolved is finished... Enlighten us, if you know yet!

  • 12.21.2007 9:23 PM PDT

Posted by: Uberdawg
I'll be picking my nose as well.

But Rare, in the mean time, despite many of your ideas being voiced to me on XBL, I'm still not clear on just what you intend to do after Halo: Unggoy Evolved is finished... Enlighten us, if you know yet!
Well, my original plan was start on a Sangheili fan-fic, focusing entirely on the Arbiter and his badassery (Think of it as the Arbiter mixed with the Cole Train™ from Gears of War). Eventually, I just figured it wouldn't provide a very good story overall, which is why I just threw lil' bits and pieces of that into some of these more recent chapters. This may infact be my last fan-fic for quite awhile. However, we'll see if something comes 'round a month or so after Unggoy is finished.

-Rarez

[Edited on 12.21.2007 10:48 PM PST]

  • 12.21.2007 10:43 PM PDT

12 Days of Gruntmas

On the first day of Gruntmas, the Prophets gave to me
An Unggoy in a Banshee!

On the second day of Gruntmas, the Prophets gave to me
Two food nipples
And an Unggoy in a Banshee!

On the third day of Gruntmas, the Prophets gave to me
Three pack mates
Two food nipples
And an Unggoy in a Banshee!

On the fourth day of Gruntmas, the Prophets gave to me
Four methane breathers
Three pack mates
Two food nipples
And an Unggoy in a Banshee!

On the fifth day of Gruntmas, the Prophets gave to me
Five onion rings
Four methane breathers
Three pack mates
Two food nipples
And an Unggoy in a Banshee!

On the sixth day of Gruntmas, the Prophets gave to me
Six Grunts a' napping
Five onion rings
Four methane breathers
Three pack mates
Two food nipples
And an Unggoy in a Banshee!

On the seventh day of Gruntmas, the Prophets gave to me
Seven fast climbers
Six Grunts a' napping
Five onion rings
Four methane breathers
Three pack mates
Two food nipples
And an Unggoy in a Banshee!

On the eighth day of Gruntmas, the Prophets gave to me
Eight guards a' watching
Seven fast climbers
Six Grunts a' napping
Five onion rings
Four methane breathers
Three pack mates
Two food nipples
And an Unggoy in a Banshee!

On the ninth day of Gruntmas, the Prophets gave to me
Nine Kig-yar fighting
Eight guards a' watching
Seven fast climbers
Six Grunts a' napping
Five onion rings
Four methane breathers
Three pack mates
Two food nipples
And an Unggoy in a Banshee!

On the tenth day of Gruntmas, the Prophets gave to me
Ten Little Sparkies
Nine Kig-yar fighting
Eight guards a' watching
Seven fast climbers
Six Grunts a' napping
Five onion rings
Four methane breathers
Three pack mates
Two food nipples
And an Unggoy in a Banshee!

On the eleventh day of Gruntmas, the Prophets gave to me
Eleven Brutes a' dying
Ten Little Sparkies
Nine Kig-yar fighting
Eight guards a' watching
Seven fast climbers
Six Grunts a' napping
Five onion rings
Four methane breathers
Three pack mates
Two food nipples
And an Unggoy in a Banshee!

On the twelfth day of Gruntmas, the Prophets gave to me
Twelve Arbiters all combined into one, energy sword in hand, ready to kick some ass
Eleven Brutes a' dying
Ten Little Sparkies
Nine Kig-yar fighting
Eight guards a' watching
Seven fast climbers
Six Grunts a' napping
Five onion rings
Four methane breathers
Three pack mates
Two food nipples
And an Unggoy in a Banshee!


Happy Holidays!

[Edited on 12.23.2007 9:45 PM PST]

  • 12.23.2007 9:44 PM PDT
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Did 'ya draw that yerself?

  • 12.24.2007 2:11 AM PDT

He watches every Hodgetwin video they put up...on ALL their channels. He calls them the Hodge Triplets, and considers himself the 3rd triplet. He's started talking and acting like them now. Every other line out of his mouth "Thaaas some BULLLLLL**** maaayne" or "Gotta make dem gainzzzz". He calls his biceps "gains". When he eats post-workout, he talks to his biceps, "Don't worry gains, I'm feeding you. Daddys gonna feed you, gainz *kisses biceps*".

LOL @ that awesome song!!!!

And nice pic, too, although Merry Christmas > Happy Holidays :P

Anyway, that was sweet, and I can't wait to see a gangstah Arby fic!!!

  • 12.24.2007 9:10 AM PDT

Posted by: Sludgee
Did 'ya draw that yerself?
It's very probable, sir. ;)

By the way, folks, I'll likely get back to postin' chapters again, sometime next week.

-Rarez

[Edited on 12.26.2007 4:15 PM PST]

  • 12.26.2007 4:13 PM PDT

Campiagn Kill Count :31,745. And growing.

The Revisionaries- One of the greatest screenshot groups on B.net. With 250 members and growing.

Posted by: Kayasith
Posted by: Monky2Guns
I didn't know they had phantoms backthen, I though they had those pods with the 2 overshields in them, or the "fork-shaped" dropships. Oh bother, anyway, very nice, keep it up.


Those dropships are called Spirits.



I know this is VERY old, but I'd like to say that they were called Bandits in Halo CE.

I know they were called Spirits in the books, but it was originally called a Bandit.

  • 12.26.2007 4:59 PM PDT

___.............._______/```````````````:::--...
|.==,-.~;. ____:._______ __’__’__’_ _ _\=
|................--:---:--:--‘---:,, ,,, ,,, ,,,:---: /=
`-.,.__._._,,...---:::"
Truth and Reconciliation , Halo Infinities , Council of the Rising

Crap I haven't been on in a while...Great story though! I love the gravemind theatrics and the gangsta elites.

Oh and I've been working on a 12 days of christmas song, but's it's about Bungie overall. Here's my tips:

I think 5 onion rings should be replaced with 5 halo rings, and I put World domination! on the 12th day of christmas. See if it fits.

  • 12.26.2007 5:25 PM PDT