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This topic has moved here: Subject: Halo: Unggoy Evolved (Fan-Fic)
  • Subject: Halo: Unggoy Evolved (Fan-Fic)
Subject: Halo: Unggoy Evolved (Fan-Fic)

Posted by: blackke7995
Crap I haven't been on in a while...Great story though! I love the gravemind theatrics and the gangsta elites.

Oh and I've been working on a 12 days of christmas song, but's it's about Bungie overall. Here's my tips:

I think 5 onion rings should be replaced with 5 halo rings, and I put World domination! on the 12th day of christmas. See if it fits.
Yeah, I thought about 5 Halo Rings, but, I figured nearly everybody who's made a Halo-based parody of that song included that exact line. And as for World Domination, well....*edits*

Thanks for the feedback, mister. Glad to hear (or rather reedz) you're still interested. ;D

[Edited on 12.26.2007 5:31 PM PST]

  • 12.26.2007 5:30 PM PDT
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New chapters, you say?

That means I can stop picking my nose.






But I don't wanna.

  • 12.28.2007 8:24 PM PDT

___.............._______/```````````````:::--...
|.==,-.~;. ____:._______ __’__’__’_ _ _\=
|................--:---:--:--‘---:,, ,,, ,,, ,,,:---: /=
`-.,.__._._,,...---:::"
Truth and Reconciliation , Halo Infinities , Council of the Rising

Posted by: Rare_Spartan
Posted by: blackke7995
Crap I haven't been on in a while...Great story though! I love the gravemind theatrics and the gangsta elites.

Oh and I've been working on a 12 days of christmas song, but's it's about Bungie overall. Here's my tips:

I think 5 onion rings should be replaced with 5 halo rings, and I put World domination! on the 12th day of christmas. See if it fits.
Yeah, I thought about 5 Halo Rings, but, I figured nearly everybody who's made a Halo-based parody of that song included that exact line. And as for World Domination, well....*edits*

Thanks for the feedback, mister. Glad to hear (or rather reedz) you're still interested. ;D


Your welcome. It was probably the longest time I was away from my computer. holidays and all.

  • 12.30.2007 10:41 PM PDT
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Lol hey Rare i sung the whole song just for fun. I ran out of breath at the Arbiter part

  • 12.31.2007 8:40 PM PDT

Posted by: Dark Spartan117
I ran out of breath at the Arbiter part
=(

Be sure to sing it three in a row, next time 'round. Somethin' special might happen.

Happy New Year, all! ;D

-Rarez

[Edited on 12.31.2007 9:04 PM PST]

  • 12.31.2007 9:03 PM PDT

You're reading The Lord of the Rings: Saruman's Dirty Lil' Secret. Just kidding, it's only Halo. =D

Chapter 12: Sign Language

The two Unggoy examined the corridor; chrome and silent. The only sign of activity came from the sniffs and yawns from inside the Dreadnought's methane chambers; virtually a paradise for most Unggoy.
"Alright. So, what now, lass?" asked Piggyback impatiently
"Hackle's bound to be in one these chambers." Chrille replied, "You take the left. I'll take the right."
"Also, tell me again why we're looking for this guy." Piggyback winced, "Isn't he classified as some sort of traitor?"
"Well, you can't really blame 'im. He's one of us. Hackle did what he did out of fear."
"I don't know. I still say the bloke's up to no good." replied the male Unggoy.
"Then why'd you choose this mission?" Chrille shrugged.
Piggyback paused for a moment, then said, "Ok, first of all, I didn't choose anything! The sergeant gave me an order to side with you. And second of all, what else was I gonna do? Just stand around and wait for a couple of brutes to come pick me up? No thanks."
"Well, even if you don't trust him, you could at least help me find Hackle. Let's get started." Chrille said, as her fellow Unggoy sighed, opening the door to the first methane chamber. The room was basically empty, with a small, purple couch being all that remained.
"Looks like nobody's home!" the accentric Grunt barked into the chamber.
"This one's empty, too." Chrille said from the opposite side of the corridor. The process continued, and they both received the same result: nothing, until they reached the last set of chambers at the end of the tubelike passageway. Chrille opened the chamber, only to see a large, bulbous creature dancing its front tentacles across a relatively small terminal.
"Hey, check this out." Chrille whispered, looking back at her comrade.
"What, didja find somethin'?" asked Piggyback, approaching the methane chamber. Once he took note of the creature's presence, he was-to say the least-disappointed.
"Oh, bloody 'ell. Just what we need- a Huragok."
"Wait, maybe he can help us! Go on, talk to him." Chrille demanded.
"So, what. You think I speak their language?"
"Well, you do seem kinda...."
"What? I seem kinda?" Piggyback barked.
"Look, that's not the point. Can you speak Huragok or can't you?"
"I can." replied the Unggoy, "I just don't want people to assume I can." And so, Piggyback entered the small chamber further, and approached the purple gasbag.
Unlike other Covenant species, the Huragok's only use of communication is by flexing their limbs into various shapes and directions. Though perhaps we should skip the science lesson and head straight on down to the good stuff.
<Hello,> Piggyback said by waving his right arm, <I am XxxPiggybackXxxx. Who might you be?>
The Huragok is named depending on their buoyancy, so his response, while uncomfortable, was natural.
<I am Fattest of Asses.>

  • 01.05.2008 6:15 PM PDT
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ROFLMAO at the Huragok's name.

  • 01.05.2008 6:29 PM PDT

Posted by: DeeJ
Why don't you just give me ONE SECOND!

:D

  • 01.05.2008 9:01 PM PDT

* Looks at the Huragoks Name and says: * OMFG! That was soo Hillarious! That was Awsome Rarez! Keep 'em Comming!

  • 01.06.2008 12:48 AM PDT

He watches every Hodgetwin video they put up...on ALL their channels. He calls them the Hodge Triplets, and considers himself the 3rd triplet. He's started talking and acting like them now. Every other line out of his mouth "Thaaas some BULLLLLL**** maaayne" or "Gotta make dem gainzzzz". He calls his biceps "gains". When he eats post-workout, he talks to his biceps, "Don't worry gains, I'm feeding you. Daddys gonna feed you, gainz *kisses biceps*".

LOL @ the engineer's name... that was riotous, old boy! Do keep it up.

  • 01.06.2008 8:26 PM PDT

___.............._______/```````````````:::--...
|.==,-.~;. ____:._______ __’__’__’_ _ _\=
|................--:---:--:--‘---:,, ,,, ,,, ,,,:---: /=
`-.,.__._._,,...---:::"
Truth and Reconciliation , Halo Infinities , Council of the Rising

:D LOL!!!!

  • 01.07.2008 7:22 PM PDT

Thanks for the happy lil' comments, folks. ;) Chapter 13 should be up for readin' by Saturday.

-Rarez

  • 01.09.2008 5:04 PM PDT
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But, it's like . . . Wednesday - Thursday.

I can't wait that long and remain sane!!!

Lol.

  • 01.09.2008 10:53 PM PDT

Chapter 13: Tough Love

"How's it goin', Sarge?" asked Fisca, entering (accompanied by Pillow) the Grunt Sergeant's quarters. Their leader was puzzled, perhaps upset. The Sergeant was sitting ontop of a relatively miniature plate, his green navy hat lying ontop of the lamp desk to his right.
"I was just thinkin' about what happened last night." the Unggoy replied, taking a look at the little amount of company he had.
"Oh, you heard about what I did to yo' momma? I can't take all the credit." Pillow scoffed.
"Alright, that's it!" Fisca barked, "We're done hanging out with the Arbiter!"
"No, you idiots! It's Silco. While I was down in the ship, I saw 'im." said the Grunt Sergeant.
"Sarge....Silco's dead. The Flood took him while we were on the mission for the Icon." Fisca said.
"Yeah, but that's the thing." the Grunt Sergeant corrected, "He wasn't the same. His body looked he was part of the ship- felt like I was in the Truth and Reconciliation all over again. His breath smelled of somethin' nasty. Also, he seemed smarter than usual."
"Which isn't saying much, am I right?" Pillow asked rhetorically, nudging Fisca by his left arm.
"Shut up.", Fisca sighed, "You don't even know how to undo your harness.
"So what did he say, Sarge?"
"Not much." replied the Sergeant, "Somethin' about a Dead Man's Chest. That's about it."
"Oh, that sounds like Silco alright." said Pillow with a slight sense of relief.
"Wait- he's mentioned it before?"
"It's nothing! Just a stupid inside joke we use when we're off-duty."
"Which was what for you two?" Fisca asked jokingly, "About 95 percent of the time?"
"Great.", the Grunt Sergeant's head fell leftward, and onto a two-foot mattress.

"You wanted to see me, your highness?" asked Little Sparky, who had just been transported back to High Charity's council chamber via the Gravemind's sense of telepathy.
"Yes, little one..." said the parasitic creature, sitting in the middle in the chamber, just as he had on their last encounter, "I have another question for you."
"Yes, my world?" asked the Sangheili corpse.
"Do you believe I'll ever find love? And be honest with me. I don't want you sugar-coating it." the Gravemind said as quickly as it could.
"Well, I er..." Little Sparky paused for a moment, "Sure?"
"You really think so?" The Gravemind cheered, "You're the best! Ciao, darling!" Within a few mere seconds, Little Sparky was back on Earth, near Uncle Dirtnap's crash site. The next thing he knew, a blast of heated plasma came crashing down on him, along with all that remained of the Flood piloted cruiser.

[Edited on 01.13.2008 3:10 PM PST]

  • 01.12.2008 8:58 PM PDT
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hey. I realized that my movie and your story are similar for the fact that they are specialized about Grunts. I think you may find this amusing to watch :). It is called Gruntrocity 2:Pestilence and it is about how the Grunts were assimilated into the Covenant. It will be out soon. By the way, i think your story is really awesome :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4QEZL_Rk-o

  • 01.12.2008 11:38 PM PDT
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Your Gravemind scares me. o.0

  • 01.13.2008 2:49 PM PDT

He watches every Hodgetwin video they put up...on ALL their channels. He calls them the Hodge Triplets, and considers himself the 3rd triplet. He's started talking and acting like them now. Every other line out of his mouth "Thaaas some BULLLLLL**** maaayne" or "Gotta make dem gainzzzz". He calls his biceps "gains". When he eats post-workout, he talks to his biceps, "Don't worry gains, I'm feeding you. Daddys gonna feed you, gainz *kisses biceps*".

"I was just thinkin' about what happened last night." the Unggoy replied, taking a look at the little amount of company he had.
"Oh, you heard about what I did to yo' momma? I can't take all the credit." Pillow scoffed.

LOL!!!!!! That was great. Despite the total lack of Arbiter, I give this chapter a thumbs up.

gud 1 Rare, kep it upp!1!1!1!!!

  • 01.14.2008 7:40 PM PDT

"You wanted to see me, your highness?" asked Little Sparky, who had just been transported back to High Charity's council chamber via the Gravemind's sense of telepathy.
"Yes, little one..." said the parasitic creature, sitting in the middle in the chamber, just as he had on their last encounter, "I have another question for you."
"Yes, my world?" asked the Sangheili corpse.
"Do you believe I'll ever find love? And be honest with me. I don't want you sugar-coating it." the Gravemind said as quickly as it could.
"Well, I er..." Little Sparky paused for a moment, "Sure?"
"You really think so?" The Gravemind cheered, "You're the best! Ciao, darling!" Within a few mere seconds, Little Sparky was back on Earth, near Uncle Dirtnap's crash site. The next thing he knew, a blast of heated plasma came crashing down on him, along with all that remained of the Flood piloted cruiser.


OMFG! that was soo funny; I loved that! Keep it up rarez!

  • 01.15.2008 11:55 PM PDT

These last couple of chapters have made me laugh till it hurt, and the some.

  • 01.16.2008 1:08 PM PDT

Thanks, fellas. The next chapter, which should be longer than last week's, might be up for readin' on Friday-this week-instead of Saturday. ;)

-Rarez

  • 01.16.2008 2:32 PM PDT
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Yayz.

And it better be a good one, or I'll start picking my nose
again.

* squints threateningly *

Lol.

  • 01.16.2008 9:56 PM PDT

Posted by: Sludgee
And it better be a good one, or I'll start picking my nose
again.
Oh, I assure you: this week's chapter is going to be pure suckage. ;)

[Edited on 01.17.2008 2:39 PM PST]

  • 01.17.2008 2:39 PM PDT

Chapter 14: The Way the World Regurgitates

<What happened to all of the other Unggoy?> Piggyback motioned to Fattest of Asses, who continued fiddling with the terminal connected to the entire methane suite.
<The little ones are attending a hearing with the San 'Shyuum.>, replied the Huragok, <Would you like me to escort you both?>
The two grunts nodded, as the purple-coated gasbag abandoned his post, leading the two of them out of the methane suite, and through the ship's many chrome filtered corridors. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of knock-knock jokes between Piggyback and Fattest of Asses, the trio finally reached the entrance to hearing room.
<Would you like me to go in with you?> asked the Huragok.
<I think we can handle it, thanks.> Piggyback signed, following Chrille into the chamber.
The room contained a disturbing site, where the Prophet of Edumacation was sitting (in his one-wheeled chair) amongst the Unggoy, with a small stack of poorly-drawn images sitting in his lap. The San 'Shyuum lifted one of the pictures upward, to where a majority of Unggoy could see it.
"Alright, little ones. What sound does the Jiralhanae make?" asked Edumacation. Nearly each and every one of the Unggoy stood up on there feet, embraced the frame standing before them, and shouted, "Rawr, demon!!"

"Alright. Ready, you two?" asked Pillow, sitting in the pilot seat of a Covenant [Seperatist] Phantom with his fellow crewmate and his Sergeant.
"Let's go, Pillow!" ordered the Grunt Sergeant. Immediately, the Phantom took flight, exiting Shadow of Intent's cockpit.
"Hey, Sarge," Fisca asked, "What colour was the portal, the last time you checked?"
"Blue, why?" asked the Unggoy.
"Well, right now, it's more of an orange than a blue."
"Doubt it matters. Let's just-"
Not taking a second's notice as to what had occured, Pillow had already driven the Phantom into the portal, causing them only to find themselves-moments later-, inside a ruined aircraft.
"Nice goin', Pillow!" exclaimed Fisca, shoving a small piece of rubble off of his left foot.
"How was I supposed to know that was going to happen?"
"Well, maybe you should've checked the-"
"Enough!" barked the Grunt Sergeant, his scalp throbbing, "My headache's bad enough without you two girl scouts -blam!-ing about who can fly the Phantom the crappiest!"
"Sorry, sir." said Fisca softly.
"Brown-noser." Pillow mumbled under his breath.
"Permission to take a look outside, sir?" asked Fisca.
"Granted." replied the Sergeant. The young Unggoy, stepping across broken pieces of glass, pushed the loose door open, causing it to detach from the aircraft completely. The world surrounding him was bright. Very bright! The hills beside him looked at Fisca gapingly. Standing just before him, however, was an enormous fortress, conceived in stone and the smell of turtle.
"Err....guys," said Fisca, "You might want to take a look at this."
The two Unggoy exited the Phantom, staring blankly at this new world. Just then, however, a plump, mustached man in blue overalls approached them, with a creeping smile swept across his face.
"It's-a me, Mario!"

[Edited on 01.20.2008 7:47 PM PST]

  • 01.20.2008 7:44 PM PDT
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NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

They're lost again.

  • 01.20.2008 10:07 PM PDT

I did not expect Mario to be there. That was a surprise.

  • 01.21.2008 9:48 AM PDT