- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
I've learned from an inside source (a friend of mine whose uncle dated a girl whose college roomate was this girl who stood in line at a grocery store one time with a guy who works at Bungie) that Marty is secretly dating Stosh, our beloved forum mod. Rumor has it that they have been engaged since February 30th (if you have to ask me about that, I'll be sad). Lorraine McLees is going into rehab for a severe heroine addiction. Chris Butcher is actually the imaginary friend of Michael Wu who is the delirious hallucination of Pete Parsons after he overdosed on high-strenght coffee. Brian Jarrad is going to shut down the Bungie.net forum in 5 days. . . the anniversary of tragic loss of his pet poodle after it wandered into a nest of vicious flying cars. Jason Jones ran away with Halo2's source code and gave it away to Vivendi as consolation for Half-Life 2's delay. Hamilton Chu is actually a mail-order android from Germany. John Butkus accidentally deleted Half of the models and animations for marines and grunts. They will now be represented by brown and blue cubes, respectively, with a marine or grunt face, drawn courtesy of StuntMutt, picture applied to one side of the cube. Finally, Frankie isn't allowed in Bungie studios due to a restraining order involving a louge accident with Alta Hartmann, and the weekly updates are really just fan fics from Frankie's imagination. . . . Marty O. doesn't even do music and sound, he's one of the 3d artists.
Your secrets are out Bungie. And you thought you could fool Scipio?
Note to the reader: I know this is spam, but the last "dirty secret" was so ridiculous I had to top it
P.S. Mods, don't hate me. . . I know those things aren't true. . . well most of 'em aren't anyway.