- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
How to raise hell at the local McDonalds...
SENIOR CITIZENS BENEFIT DAY/WEEK
McDonald's is nice to senior citizens. Every McDonald's offers
free or reduced price meals or drinks to Senior citizens... Now, all
you have to do is attract them. For a minimal price, you can publish
an ad in the local newspaper, or publish your own flier (can be
cheaply made) which explains that a certain day/week, your local
McDonald's will recognize senior citizens with free food, coffee,
senior activities, you know... a big senior social. You may want to
mention that other organizations will be there to speak and make the
whole "event" decent... Now, if your McDonald's already offers
free/reduced coffee, food, or sodas, this will definitely break them,
and cause them to order much more supply, and could even cause them
to run out of coffee or soda for the rest of the day... on the other
hand, if they don't offer this, the mass crowd of old people asking
for -blam!- will certainly piss someone off... This has been tested, and
as a result, a McDonald's had to close for a day to reorganize and
reorder supplies, as well as "launch an investigation" about this
Day, but they never turned up anything.
Now Drive up to the 2nd window please...
GARBAGE CAN TRICKS
Since McDonald's is usually a busy restaurant, the trash bags
fill up quickly and must be changed frequently (but never are.) There
are several things you can do to the trash cans. For starters, ask
for hot or boiling water. If you don't want to attract attention by
doing this, bring in your own really hot water... boil it, put it in
a Styrofoam cup or a thermos... once in McDonald's, locate the filled
trash can (should not be hard to find) and dump the hot water down
the side. Not only will this melt the side of the bag, causing the
trash to go everywhere, the person who takes out the garbage must
pick up all the trash by hand and dump out the trash can with water
in the bottom. This also soaks the trash, breaks up paper, and makes
the whole experience quite unpleasant, but hilarious to watch. Another easy trick is to walk up to the trash can areas, take
the trays sitting above the trash cans, and simply throw them in all
the cans. This will either make the employee fish them out by hand,
or will cause the restaurant to be short of several trays, which
becomes quite annoying.
Would you like fries with that?
FOOD TRICKS
There are several things to do with the food. Since there is
probably something wrong with it in the first place, you might want
to simply make the problem bigger... Before you enter the restaurant,
cut some of your hair, or hair off of a pet. When at your table,
place the hair all over the inside of the burger. When the line at
the counter is long, and everyone is busy, cut up to the front of the
counter, and start complaining about your burger. Show EVERYONE the
hair inside the burger. You will get another burger, and most likely,
a lot of free -blam!- so you will come back. You will also cause most
everyone to leave, and people in the kitchen to get -blam!- on by the
manager.
mmm, them McNuggets are sooo... sooo... NASTAY!
ON A BUSY DAY...
Busy days are the best. Customers are in a hurry, so are the
employees... everyone has a short fuse and usually do not pay
attention to what you say, or get very pissed. Ask for real dumb
-blam!-... For example, "I'd like a 69 piece Chicken McNugget." The best
thing to do is to order a simple cheeseburger, and screw it all up
with special orders... For example, "I'd like a cheeseburger, with
extra cheese, no mustard, extra catsup, extra onions, lettuce,
tomato, a real little dab of mayo, and make it well done... oh wait,
I don't want cheese anymore. Just put extra lettuce on it... [wait
for them to send the order back to the kitchen]... then Oh, wait,
sorry... I just want a BigMac." You can also say, "I'd like a medium
Coke with just 4 pieces of ice in it." They will always do what you
say... Keep in mind that special orders do not cost extra, so you can
order a hamburger, ask for extra mustard, catsup, and somewhere in
there, casually mention extra cheese... 9 times out of 10 this
works... and you don't get charged. NOTE: if you hear a printer
printing followed by 3 beeps somewhere in the kitchen, your grill
order was printed, and will be made... so change it after you hear
that. OK!... this really isnt a prank, but can be VERY USEFUL to pranksters in their financial downfalls when they need cash to pull off huge and well worth-while pranks..
In some McDonald's, you will find the "Need A Penny - Take a
Penny," Where people put in their loose change in case someone else
is short some money... steal ALL the money in this. In one month, some dude made $42.71 from stealing the money from all the Need A Penny cups in my area... This is a good secondary income for lazy people.
Atleast their ice cream cones are good...
THE INQUIRING CUSTOMER
McDonald's managers pride themselves in knowing the answers,
and employees like to pretend that they do. So, on a busy day, keep
asking dumb questions... Here are a few to ask... Oh, never actually
order anything... just hold up the line with your questions. Here are
a few questions to ask:
- "How is your meat prepared at the factory?"
- "What part of the chicken does the McNugget come from?"
- "Who was the BigMac named after?"
- "What is the post-cooked weight of your quarter pounder?"
- "Where does your <pick a vegetable> come from?"
- "How fresh is your <McD product>?"
- "What is the square root of 69.666?"
- "What is the nutritional value of a 9 piece McNugget box?"
Maybe we should kick things up a bit?
DRIVE-THRU FUN
McDonald's videos tell the employees that the Drive Thru makes
up for more than 40% of the average McDonald's business. Simply put,
this system needs a lot of work. The speakers rarely work, and you
usually get your order screwed up. The first thing to do is to take
your car and back over the cut square in the pavement right beside
the order sign several times. This causes a loud annoying "bong" to
be heard by everyone with a headset... eventually the manager will
come out with a weapon, and this is where you leave.
Another thing to do is to drive up, and say, "I just want a lot
of butter..." or "I'd like a large -blam!- to go please." Usually,
people in the drive thru service will laugh or screw something up,
and you will get yelled at by the manager... waaah.
hotter? sure... not like their food is ever hot anyways!
aight! here:
If you happen across a McDonald's that is expecting deliveries, or has
cleaned the parking lot, you will notice traffic cones. You can move these
cones around the drive-thru sign. Some people are stupid and will drive thru them anyway, so you may want to place a sign saying "DRIVE THRU CLOSED - - SORRY - MANAGEMENT." You can also place a legitimate order at the drive thru and right after your order, you can put a sign on the drive-thru sign saying the same "closed" message. The drive thru sensor does not sense foot traffic, so you can walk up to the sign and put one there...
OK, now for the main coarse... yum..
If you have a simple shortwave transceiver, Ham Radio, or powerful
handheld transceiver, you can talk to the entire drive-thru crew.
The antenna is located above the cashier in the drive-thru box and has
a receiving radius of the entire store and about half of the parking lot.
You can add stuff to peoples orders, or just screw around. Drive thru
people have noticed that illegally powerful CB radios, side band radios
and even some car phones can be picked up with the headsets. Be innovative and use these to piss the employees off. If you do not have access to one, simply hide behind the sign, and shout extra food or obscenities at the sign...
Here we go, heres yer dessert...
[Edited on 10/31/2004 4:15:16 AM]