The Voicemail Chronicles - Volume One

Parental discretion is advised.

The Voicemail Chronicles is a collection of silly Xbox Live messages Bryan Simon collected over a brief period of time.  Turns out getting on the Bungie frontpage and rocking the Recon can earn you some fairly silly, and sometime fairly disturbing, voice messages.

Naughty language almost straight out of the gate.  Gamertags have not been changed to protect the innocent.

Halo 3 1/22/2009 10:22 AM PST permalink

Halo 3 Hardware Store

Muzza777 writes:

Be first in line.

A little while back we linked you to a strange amalgamation of Halo 3, Gary's Mod, and Wierd Al.  Here's another music video by the same fella that brought you that oddity.  This time there's no Gary's Mod love, but the editing is still top notch.  Check it out.

YouTube - Halo 3 Hardware Store - Weird Al

Halo 3 1/22/2009 9:13 AM PST permalink

'Last Chance' Montage

He got a no scope!

Actually, he got several.  Some other really nice plays in this well-edited Halo 3 gamplay montage.  And while this video breaks a handful of Hawty McBloggy's "rules," we'll let it slide since it's this fine player's first montage.

Check it out below if you have eight minutes to spare.  Naughty language in the music.  Adults only.

YouTube - "Last Chance" Montage

Halo 3 1/21/2009 12:24 PM PST permalink

'Communitage 2'

Morpheus414 writes:

Try a group hug with 161 people.

Tons of players.  Tons of clips.  Tons of fun.  Check it out below.

"From the creators of The Communitage and Hold RB to Morph, comes the highly anticipated sequel, Communitage 2! In Classic Standard Definition or Steaming Fresh High Definition!

YouTube Coming Soon.

Enjoy the fun as we take a look at some of the most craziest clips I've received over the past few months!"

Halo 3 1/21/2009 9:33 AM PST permalink

Ascendant Justice - 'Unworlding'

"This is the way the world ends."

Ascendant Justice scribe Vociferous has put his digital pen to work once again.  This time out, he examines the narrative surrounding the "Great Journey" from several distinct perspectives.  If you are a fan of Halo fiction, activate the link below.

Ascendant Justice - "Unworlding"

Halo 3 1/21/2009 9:09 AM PST permalink

Halo 3 in the WorkPLace Comictage

Piercingtiger writes:

Taking what we're givin'...

...because we're working for a livin'.

"Grab your popcorn, pull up a chair, sit by the fire, put out the fire before your house burns down, and get ready to watch this lengthy montage from Halo 3 in the Workplace. 

And keep in mind, this is a montage from our more "senior" members who hold down jobs and think about Halo at work.  This is not an MLG video.

Includes play from BigCountry1369, FoMan123, waketrix, Gimme Shelter, Afistin Yourbum, xTxVx casualty, Piercingtiger, and a very special guest, Frog Girl."


Halo 3 1/21/2009 9:06 AM PST permalink

Reclaimer 139 - Mercyhoard

"I don't believe I caught your name."

Episode 139 of Reclaimer has been published.  First contact with the machine "Mercyhoard" has been made.  Be afraid.

Reclaimer - Episode 139

Halo 3 1/21/2009 8:56 AM PST permalink

January Matchmaking Update is (Finally) Up

After a long wait, January finally is finally here.

Hooray! Testing is finally done and over with, and if you haven't  already noticed, the January Matchmaking Update has been applied.

If you missed the Weekly Update where we described the changes for you, here they are again:

General Changes

Playlist Clean Up, Mythic Prep
In preparation for the new maps coming later this year, some of the less popular map variants are going to be removed over time. Some of these removals are not listed below, but will be reflected in the Matchmaking Playlist page here on This will be an ongoing process with maps and their variants being systematically removed as warranted.

Push to Talk Restriction Increased
Since Halo 3’s release, if a player were to join a Matchmaking playlist with a team size larger than four, he or she would have to push a button on the DPad to communicate directly to their team. After the January update, the PTT restriction is being increased to 6 players per team, meaning that players will not need to use the D-pad to communicate on any Matchmaking playlist but Social Big Team.

What does this mean for players? Well, for starters, it means communicating to teammates in 5v5 or 6v6 playlists will be trivial. However, this could mean an increase in bandwidth necessary for these larger format playlists, which means the potential for “laggy” games is increased. The best way to avoid lag in these games is to ensure that you are not constantly broadcasting to your teammates, and that your teammates are not constantly broadcasting to you. If you often play with strangers, be prepared to mute and report players that abuse their microphone. To mute a player quickly during a game, hold the back button to bring up the scoreboard and select their name with the left stick. Then press X. Muted! To report players, select their name in the post game carnage report and view their gamercard, then use the Report Player options listed therein.

DLC Category
In an effort to make the Matchmaking playlists easier to navigate and bring the populations together, the DLC category is being retired, and the playlists it contained are either being moved into Social or integrated into existing playlists.

Ranked Hopper Updates
  • Lone Wolves – No Changes
  • Team Slayer – No Changes
  • Team Objective
  • KOTH, Oddball, 1 and 2 Bomb assault set to skip after veto, and weighting on these gametypes will be reduced to refocus the hopper primarily on 1 Flag, 2 Flag, and Neutral Assault.
  • A couple community map variants for Foundry are being added to the CTF rotation.
  • Team Doubles – No Changes
  • Squad Battle – No Changes

Social Hopper Updates

Rumble Pit
  • DLC FFA and Rumble Pit will be merged. Rumble Pit will now require All DLC, and include gametypes such as Infection.
Social Slayer
  • Population increased back to 5v5
  • Isolation, Foundry removed.
Social Objective
  • Slightly reduce weighting on Land Grab, and increase weighting on multi flag to even distribution of these two gametypes out.
  • Reduce weighting of VIP. Set to skip after veto.
  • Territories variants set to skip after veto.
  • ADDED Social Team DLC
  • 5v5 Slayer and Objective strictly on DLC maps. Heroic and Legendary map packs required.
  • The most popular slayer and objective variants, strictly on DLC maps.
Multi Team
  • Reduce weighting of VIP, KOTH, and Oddball.
  • Some maps being removed from rotation.
ADDED Social Big Team
  • DLC Big Team will be moved and renamed. Weighting between DLC and non-DLC maps will be equalized. The hopper will continue to require DLC 1 and 2.

DLC Hopper Updates

  • DLC FFA and Rumble Pit will be merged. DLC FFA as a separate hopper is retired.
  • Being moved to Social and being renamed “Social Big Team.” Non-DLC maps are getting a weighting increase such that they are equal to DLC maps. Still requires DLC 1 and 2.

Hardcore Hopper Updates

Team SWAT – No Changes
Team Snipers
- Reduced weighting on Standoff.
MLG – No Changes

Double EXP Weekends (listed in order of appearance)

Grifball – Winter League (1/8-1/12)
3 Ball (1/22 -1/26)
Living Dead (Unranked) (1/29 – 2/2)

Seven on the Seventh

Avalanche 7v7

PlaylistsHalo 3 1/20/2009 7:44 PM PST permalink

Father and Son Double Killionaire

WillyPete37 writes:

Got Gauss?

What happens when a father straps his nine year old son into the back of his Warthog?


YouTube - Father and Son

Astute observers will note that this clip made it into the preceding "Inside Halo" video we just showcased in our blog.  That's okay, CruelSirMike has racked up a whopping 50,000 Wheelman medals with help from his son and all the guys over at H3Wheelmen.  Pretty astounding stuff.  They deserve a second shout out.

Halo 3 1/20/2009 2:46 PM PST permalink

Inside Halo Episode 29

robby118 writes:

And remember: brush your teeth.

The Dead Pixel returns with the Top 5 plays, a recap of what's going down, and plenty of shenanigans.

YouTube - Inside Halo Episode 29

Halo 3 1/20/2009 2:37 PM PST permalink

Average Joe - Cocopjojo

Just a man and his will to survive.

If you fancy yourself a fan of Halo 3's gameplay and mission design, there's a good chance you've already read Cocopjojo's Hindsight: Halo 3 articles.  If not, hit the link and head on over to Ascendant Justice to get familiar with the man's work.  Cocopjojo's analysis is so sweet, even one of our own designers pitched in with some insight of his own.  If you've already pored over Cocop's articles, scroll down for a short look at the man with the 20/20 hindsight.

Q. Who are you and what do you do?

A. When I'm not on the intertubes, I go by Jacob. I'm an audio engineer, which means that I mix sound for bands, hang speakers from ceilings, and explain to people why I can't “remove” the vocals from “Eye of the Tiger” so that they can sing it karaoke their wedding reception. Here in the real world, I'm known as Cocopjojo, and I help Vociferous and Jironimo manage Ascendant Justice.

Q. Your name is hard to pronounce.  We get confused easily. Explain.

A. Okay, so, it is actually pronounced “coh-cop-joe-joe.” I used to work at a community center where we played Halo on a daily basis on four Xboxes that we had lanned together. Some kid created a profile named CocoPjojo, which I promptly claimed as my own on the basis that “coh-cop-joe-joe” was superior to his pronunciation of “coh-coh-pee-joe-joe.” A lot of folks just call me “Cocop,” for short.

Q. Cocop it is.  If I wanted to call you out for stealing some poor little kid's gamertag, where's the best place to find you?

A. I used to post at HBO, but I now spend the majority of my time at GAF debating such things as which Halo game's pistol is the best, why CTF should be the only gametype in Matchmaking, and – of course – the classic AR vs. BR (although, it's pretty much been decided that the AR wins). Besides GAF, I've been a long-time fan of High Impact Halo. I'm not good enough at the game to pull off the sorts of stuff that those guys do, but I definitely enjoy watching the videos they produce of mile-high blasts to the tops of Halo's various structures.

Q. What is it about gaming that draws you in?

A. With Halo 3, I play almost entirely for the social aspect; I rarely jump into Matchmaking by myself. There's such a variety of things to do within the game, I'm not surprised at all that I still play almost nightly, even here, a year after its release. For example, I typically enjoy driving a Warthog around and getting myself and my gunner killed while trying to make awesome jumps in Matchmaking games, but I'll also jump into Team Slayer every once in a while. I pretty much live for Team Objective and BTB with a full party of friends.

Q. What was the first Bungie title you played?

A. Halo was the first Bungie game I played, and I saw it at a friend's house who had an Xbox. We played through the campaign together, and I was dumbfounded by the variety of things that Bungie had managed to pull off with the gameplay. The quality of the environments, the vehicles, and the music I had never seen before together in one game. I spent most of my junior and senior years of high school playing daily 8v8s on Sidewinder at the aforementioned community center. Also, 16-player Rockets FFA on Chiron (no, I'm not kidding).

Q. Ever feel like you've just come out of a random teleporter when you think about your level of community involvement?

A. No, as far as Ascendant Justice, I attribute it mostly to the quality of the work that Voc puts out, and the overall vision that Jironimo has for the site. In all seriousness, when you're working with folks that love what they do (and are good at it, to boot), you kind of have to give it your all, or get left behind. And it's through my involvement with Ascendant Justice that I've met a lot of good guys, and it's with these peeps that I play the game every day.

Q. Anything you wanna add before you head off into the sunset?

A. Let me just say that I'm really looking forward to seeing what you guys do with ODST and the Mythic maps (is it true that it's Luke's fault that they're taking so long to release?).  Also, I want to give a shout-out to my girl, Cocojpojo! And to my little brother, who has the best gamertag ever: xXMLGxGorillaXx. Lol.

That is a sweet tag.  Could use a few more x's though.

Thanks for the words, Jacob - both here and at Ascendant Justice.  And while something tells me you were pretty close to earning yourself an Editor's Note from L.M. Smith with your Mythic Map callout, we still love you.  We're not in love, mind you, but, well, you know what we mean.

CommunitySpotlight 1/20/2009 11:13 AM PST permalink

V.A.T.S. in Halo 3

AbsMindedProf writes:

Vault-Tec Assisted Targeting System is ready.

Ever wonder what would happen if you mixed two of your favorite gaming franchises together?  Mans1ay3r not only dreamed a dream, he made it a reality.  Watch the video below to find out what we're talking about.

YouTube - V.A.T.S in Halo 3

Halo 3 1/20/2009 10:40 AM PST permalink

Size Matters - Pillar of Autumn

Comin' in hot.

HBO just posted a link to an exhaustive technical analysis of the Pillar of Autumn.  Chances are, if you're not as big of a fan as SoundEffect is (we're not liking your odds here), then this is going to blow your mind.  Hit the link below to learn everything you ever wanted to know and more about the Pillar of Autumn.

UNSC Halcyon-class Cruiser (SCS Pillar of Autumn)

Article by Stephen Loftus [SoundEffect]

HaloHalo 3 1/20/2009 9:11 AM PST permalink

Chaos Theory Episode 8: Fear: Part 1

Fear can be a powerful motivator.

Looks like Episode Eight of Chaos Theory is going to be episodic in and of itself.  Parts to parts, or something like that.  In any case, keep scrolling for a description of the contents, an ominous warning, and a link to the comic.  You'll need Adobe Reader or .PDF friendly software to check it out.

"Heelllooo Bungie and friends,

I hope you are ready for Tuesday madness over at Chaos Theory World, where my sole objective is to impede the efforts of everyone else to create a Webcomic Wednesday. All I need to do now is start a video series and I can destroy Machinima Monday as well!

This week in Chaos Theory: Episode Eight: Part One. A little more on a character that is rarely developed. But you would have to read it to find that out wouldn't you? (Also, for those interested, check back in episode seven and see if you can pick up on the secret message.)

It would appear that Urk won round one in predicting the impossible; that this episode would in fact be Episode 8, feature screenshots from Halo, and be released in PDF format. I suppose I should issue another challenge, but I'll just wait for the right moment to strike. (Cue in mandatory maniacal laughter. Can Mr. Marty throw in a little evil music to boot?)

Also, I'd like to point out my compatriots over at Halo 3 Webcomics, the series include: 2501, Dead, Post War, Shock, and X36. They can all be viewed and linked too from the main page over at H3W.

Thanks Everyone!

-Adam Susskind, Writer and Producer, Chaos Theory"

Community 1/20/2009 9:06 AM PST permalink

Top 10 Halo 3 Assassinations

KillPie3 writes:

If your in trouble just look down, jump and beat down!

KillPie presents the next installment in his Halo 3 Top Ten series.  There's no commentary, but he makes up for his lack of verbiage by shooting the clips in High Definition.  You'll find the embed below, but for full effect, hit the jump and make sure you're watching in HD.

YouTube - Top 10 Halo 3 Assassinations

Halo 3 1/20/2009 9:02 AM PST permalink

Machinima Monday

RageGummy writes:

Discovering awesome and making a last stand.

RageGummy took some time to review a pair of Halo 3 Machinima for you on this fine Monday.  If you're looking for something Halo 3-related to watch today, check out the pair of videos reviewed below...after you've read his write-ups, of course.

From RageGummy:

“I love the whole world” by Sundried
From the start, it seems like another normal Machinima, but I was wrong. Not knowing that this was already an advert for the Discovery channel and was adapted for the Halo world, I watched on. I’m glad to say it was worth the watch and what it lacked in length, it made up with superb resolution and great quality of footage which ranged from a monitor being voiced by Stephen Hawkins to an Elephant going twice the legal speed limit.

“The Living Dead” by Halo3sbest Productions
Turn on the grayscale, this short is all about the zombies. Inspired and filmed in the living dead playlist it sets the stage for three Spartan survivors, who are holding out in a container on Blackout.

The screenplay isn’t staged and is all from a single round of online game play, which is a style that seems to be getting more popular. The camera sometimes feels like it is taped to a washing machine that’s set to max while rolling down the Ivory tower stairs, but overall its another good Machinima to watch this week.

Short and sweet, but if you want your Machinima to be reviewed, drop me a message here at

Community 1/19/2009 1:13 PM PST permalink

Point and Shoot

Say cheese.

Read Full Top Story

CommunitySpotlightHalo 3 1/19/2009 11:21 AM PST

TFF Clip of the Week - Round 2/3

Ready for your multikills.

The second round of the TFF Clip of the Week Contest has begun.

Head over to to participate or to watch the entries from round 1. You can submit two clips per round for a chance to win Xbox Live Gold Subscription codes for two months of membership. All of Multikills Clips are allowed.

If you don't have any clips prepared for this week, next week is "Freestyle." Good luck!

Clip of the Week - Round 2

Halo 3 1/19/2009 10:12 AM PST permalink

PreGame Lobby Episode Nine

Stoshy117 writes:

PreGame Lobby is back.

It's long and full of expletives.  Give this one a go at your own risk.  Link and brief description below.

From Harabek:

"Matt tries to do a roastbeef roundup, too bad he's got permanent swellbow!"

PreGame Lobby Episode Nine

Halo 3 1/19/2009 10:03 AM PST permalink

Reclaimer 138 - The Machine

Another question.

Reclaimer 138 is online and ready to read.  The Reclaimer is still being led by the nose.  Find out where he ends up by clicking on the link below.

Reclaimer 138 - The Machine

Halo 3 1/19/2009 9:56 AM PST permalink

Halo 3 Fails: Episode 6

SolarRith writes:

Watch out for flying Mongeese.

The sixth installment of 'Halo 3 Fails' shows off some more of the most unlikely, unfortunate, and hilarious happenings  in Halo 3.  Check it out below.

YouTube - Halo 3 Fails: Episode 6

Halo 3 1/19/2009 9:45 AM PST permalink

Matchmaking Episode 18: 'Hill Moved'

SPARTAN A000 writes:

There's no horchata. No horchata at all.

Darkspire Films has released episode 18 of Matchmaking.  Naughty language.  Adults only.

"Trouble ensues after Vince and John come face to face with a Spanish king and his hill."

Matchmaking Episode 18 - Hill Moved from Darkspire Films on Vimeo.

Community 1/18/2009 11:03 AM PST permalink

Arby 'n' the Chief S3E06: 'Glitch'

J900 writes:

Such a wide selection of features and clothing.

DigitalPh33r's newest episode of Arby 'n' the Chief is now online.

"Xbox Live has fallen into a chasm of utter chaos; an intermittent game glitch is causing players' Katana body pieces and Security shoulders to vanish, as well as denying players the ability to unlock certain achievements, and Master Chief has now fallen victim to it. Master Chief throws the Arbiter, who couldn't care less about the situation, into the middle of the chaos in the hopes that he'll realize just how big of a deal it is, and somehow put a stop to the madness."

Warning: Naughty Language

Arby 'n' the Chief S3E06: "Glitch"

Halo 3 1/17/2009 1:31 PM PST permalink