Humpday Challenge: Moderators

Years of love were forgotten, in the hatred of a minute.

Last week Sketch felt compelled to write an emotionally charged Humpday mea culpa casting his own Halo skills in doubt and calling attention to himself as the sole culprit responsible for Team Terracotta’s totally embarrassing loss to HBO’s admins cybernetic killing machines sent back in time to seek out and destroy all Bungie life. Yesterday, it turned out that individual skill and overall manpower would not be a problem.

This morning Outlook greeted me with a friendly meeting reminder that was twelve hours overdue.

“Humpday with the Moderators.”

It was, of course, already too late. Time was a luxury our team no longer had. Hold that thought.
Team Terracotta
Since we were throwing down against our forum mod squad, we figured it would be right neighborly to send in some representatives from our own online team, namely Tom, Chris, and Stosh. The rest of the team was comprised of two Team Onyx steeds, a pair of multiplayer designers, and yours truly (that’s me).

  • Achronos – He is your Overlord.
  • Phailboat – He is your Overlord’s Overlord.
  • Stoshy – Probably his fault.
  • Thug Larz – Straight off the street.
  • mantis – Time Bandit.
  • d1rtydr3w – Not really all that dirty.
  • Tkblingx2 – Still warming up.
  • Urk the Red – Red hot.

Team Ninja
Team Ninja fielded eighteen brave men and one Yoozel. In between rounds, they took time out to swap in fresh players from the bench. (I’m pretty sure Qbix had to borrow Foman’s jock.) Here’s the full roster, in no particular order:

  • The Slayer Bro
  • Pirate Kenny
  • El Roboto
  • Butane123
  • Ash55
  • Duardo0
  • Foman
  • Salty Pfhor
  • Dazarobbo
  • Predator5791
  • Yoozel
  • X Lord Revan x
  • True Underdog
  • BobCast24ida
  • Old Papa Rich
  • N3rfherd3r
  • Caladolen
  • Nedus343

Game 1: 8v8 Slayer Pro on Boardwalk

Nails, bitten.

Allow Tomo to set the stage with a brief recap of Game 1:

“I enjoyed the first game, though I probably should have played a couple warm up games before the Humpday.”

Gotta Stretch the Hammies

Hindsight is always 20/20, but even though we didn’t limber up before the match, our opening game was still ultra-competitive with the lead changing hands several times while both teams struggled desperately to stake out a permanent position on the map’s higher perches. In the end, it was our Team Onyx duo of Drew and Tomo that kept us in the game, but even their skillfully placed crossmap shots were not enough to stave off the endless onslaught of our beloved, but bloodthirsty ninjas.



Dirty Work

After all was said and done, Joe Tung’s last minute decision to sit out this challenge rang in my ears. “Wake me when you need me,” he said. While he snoozed, we went down 0-1.

Compromising Position

I Have the High Ground!

Today, Stosh tried to put the blame onto his own shoulders. Derek wasn’t too happy with his performance, either.

“I betrayed Larz early in the game, and failed to capitalize on my stolen rocket launcher at the very end. LVP for sure.”

But one look at the stats reveals the real story. There was plenty of blame to go around. Only two Bungie players pulled positive numbers. Still, Team Ninja barely eked out the victory. The final word goes to Lars Bakken, who also got caught napping.

“This was a super close game. I got greedy when we were tied at 74/74 and ran after a guy who I thought was by himself. Turned out he was and I had the drop on him, unfortunately two of his teammates showed up behind me. One of them Shotgunned me in the back for the game winning score. See my file share for a sweet shot of my ‘laying down on the job.’”

Thug Life

Final Score: 75-74. Ninjas win.

Game 2: 8v8 Invasion Slayer on Boneyard

Rolling redemption.

Tank beats everything! Game 2 was moderator’s choice and they chose poorly. Our overall game plan for the night was to keep them out of cockpits, so we figured that they’d put up a more formidable fight when they got behind the wheel. Turns out, they were on the receiving end of nearly all of the vehicular manslaughter.

Dino Might

Banshee, Sniped

Here’s Lars with the breakdown (and a little bit of foreshadowing):

“This was more like it! I don't know why we didn't pick this as our third game too, but that would have been a little cheap. Still Invasion Slayer is one of my favorite gametypes in Reach, and we schooled them.”

Tomo: “First mistake for them, they picked Dinos. We steam rolled through this game, err the tank (Derek) did.”

And while Derek might have considered himself LVP for Game 1, he went off with the Scorpion and the Sniper Rifle in the follow up affair, putting up a professional grade +22 while leading our team to an all-out route of Team Ninja.

Fair Fight

Don't Tread on Me

Stay Classy!

“I only got ~17 tank kills,” Derek notes, “but yeah, all those explosions seemed to knock them off their game.”

Final Score: 100-72. Bungie wins.

Game 3: 8v8 Stockpile on Hemorrhage

Tick tock.

So much time was paid to determining the number of flag caps required to win this match that we forgot to consider one crucial and damning detail (and that, as they say, is where the Devil is). Just before Derek fired up the match, he pleaded with me to talk him out of the gametype and map selection.

“This is a terrible idea,” I replied. I even delayed the countdown once in defiance. But once is never enough and our pregame trepidation was indeed an omen of the terrible events to come.

Exhibit A. Eight players on our squad. Some of the industry’s brightest minds, all soon to be hoisted with our own petards. Note the time remaining at the outset.

Exhibit B. You may not notice the transparent figure holding a Sniper Rifle in this image. We sure didn’t and Nedus made us pay for our lack of vision, racking up eighteen kills on his way to a totally deathless performance.

Exhibit C. This is the moment of dread. The announcer’s voice booms throughout the curious gorge. “Thirty seconds remaining!” A ripple of terror splits our team’s resolve in twine. The confused shrieking over the microphones shatters our resolve as one by one we realize that the finality of the clock, and not our rifles, will be our ultimate undoing.

The second hand had become a razor’s edge, the blade sliding inexorably toward our extended necks. And we were powerless to stop it. Team Ninja captured two flags as the final seconds ticked away.

“I was having a great time,” notes Lars, “until I realized there was 45 seconds left and we were about to lose. set up fail. We deserved to lose that one.” :)

“16 people, and no one notices the time limit until there are only 30 seconds remaining," adds Derek. "We are smart, and good at games.”

Final Score: 14-13. Team Ninja Wins. Tomo sums it up nicely.

“Curse you timer!!! One the plus side I did come in first place for the race game we played next.”

Ah yes, Games 4 and 5. I was tempted to write this up as the first ever Best of Five Humpday Challenge. Truth be told, it wouldn’t have mattered. Our consolation games were just that – fun games with a great group of guys. Guys that keep our forums clean for little more than a few words of encouragement, the occasional t-shirt, and the power to crush the hopes and dreams of the seedier elements of the Bungie community beneath their well-worn combat boots.

For that, and for the awesome games we played last night, we extend our thanks and gratitude.

Consolation Game 1: Astronaut on Zealot


Some players might tell you that Juggernaut on Zealot with 300% Speed and 16 players is a stupendously foolish idea. Those people are right. I only have one image from this game. The rest were deemed too pornographic for

Consolation Game 2: Race on Master Chief’s Raceway

Long and Winding.

I don’t know who made this map and I don’t care. All I know is that the moment my Mongoose hit the drink, I was in for a bumpy ride. I wasn’t the only one, either.

Big thanks to our moderators for playing some sweet Humpday games with us. I think we all know that had the final game been set up correctly, we’d have won easily. Still, we are nothing if not gracious and we had an absolute blast. Thanks for everything, you surly bunch of jerks!

Next up, Tied the Leader. Death for you, Gunslingers. Life for Team Onyx. Saddle up.

Community 9/30/2010 5:39 PM PDT permalink

'Liftoff' - A Halo: Reach Montage

Gear61 Owns writes:

I'm that man on the moon.

Bang. Zoom. Explicit lyrics.

"This is a Halo: Reach dualtage from Nephrectomy and Nitsua, edited by Nitsua himself, entitled, 'Liftoff.' The gameplay is pretty sweet minus a few mediocre doubles, and the editing's chill. Enjoy!"

YouTube - Liftoff - A Halo: Reach Montage

Halo: Reach 9/30/2010 9:22 AM PDT permalink

Halo: Reach - Top Ten Kills (9.29.10)

Covering all the carnage.

IGN's posted their latest top ten kills of the week. Thanks to HBO for the heads up.

Halo: Reach 9/30/2010 9:20 AM PDT permalink

Bulletproof Challenge Shot Full of Holes

But it's all better now.

Some of you noticed that today's Daily Challenge, Bulletproof, was so challenging that it was downright impossible. It's all better now. Instead of completing three insurmountable rounds in Firefight Matchmaking without dying, all you have to do is finish one with zero deaths. Good luck!

Group MemorandaHalo: Reach 9/30/2010 9:13 AM PDT permalink

Never Turn Your Back on a Hunter


Some lessons gotta be learned the hard way. - Outta the Park

Halo: Reach 9/29/2010 10:13 AM PDT permalink

FlawlessNSP's 1st Halo: Reach Minitage

Gear61 Owns writes:

Can you hear me? C'mon!

Short is the new long.

"This is Flawless' 1st Halo: Reach minitage, edited by Baby Buffalo. The clips are pretty sweet, the song's fun and laid back, and the editing has some nice angles and synced moments. Enjoy!"

YouTube - FlawlessNSP's 1st Halo: Reach Minitage

Halo: Reach 9/29/2010 9:31 AM PDT permalink

Tranquility's 1st Halo: Reach Minitage

Gear61 Owns writes:


I can't feel my legs! No wait, it's just the music.

"This is Tranquility's 1st Halo: Reach minitage, put together by himself. The song is trippy as hell, but I still loved it for its originality and beautiful instrumentals. The editing goes along really well with it, showcasing lots of well-applied slow-mo to achieve great syncing and flow. The gameplay's pretty sick as well, showcasing a lot of solid snipes along with a ridiculous overkill no scope on Hemorrhage. Enjoy!"

YouTube - Tranquility's 1st Halo: Reach Minitage

Halo: Reach 9/29/2010 9:29 AM PDT permalink

Halo: Reach Original Soundtrack Giveaway

Makes for great restroom ambiance!

HBO tipped us off that Game Informer is giving away some copies of the Halo: Reach Original Soundtrack. What's better than the Halo: Reach Original Soundtrack? A free Halo: Reach Original Soundtrack! Hit the jump for more details.

Halo: Reach Original Soundtrack Giveaway

Halo: Reach 9/29/2010 9:03 AM PDT permalink

ForgeHub Presents: The Best of Halo 3 Forge

CMNeir writes:

The best of the best.

"If you're looking for some inspiration for your Halo: Reach Forge creations, CMNeir and ForgeHub have you covered.

A collection of Halo 3 Forge maps selected by Insane54 from ForgeHub, which are considered to be the best of the best in the forging community.

To download these and more maps visit"

YouTube - ForgeHub Presents: The Best of Halo 3 Forge

Halo 3 9/29/2010 9:00 AM PDT permalink

The Do's and Don'ts of Armor Abilities.

CheckedBRUTES writes:

Like this, not like that.

Gamesradar gets you up to speed on Halo: Reach's Armor Abilities.

The Do's and Don'ts of Armor Abilities

Halo: Reach 9/28/2010 10:01 AM PDT permalink

'Dreams' - A Halo: Reach Montage

Gear61 Owns writes:

So if I go to sleep, don't wake me up.

Moar montage.

"This is a Halo: Reach montage from LaCoz3, edited by himself, entitled, 'Dreams.' The gameplay is pretty good, showcasing some sick sticks (look out for the grenade launch) and sniper multikills. The song is chill and so is the editing, consisting of some well done cinematography and syncing. Enjoy!"

Youtube - Dreams - A Halo 3 Montage

Halo: Reach 9/28/2010 9:53 AM PDT permalink

'Here We Go Again' - A Halo: Reach Montage

Gear61 Owns writes:

Oh, oh, I want some more.

What are you waiting for? Click the link and check out an awesome montage! Naughty language (and hilarity) at the end.

"This is a Halo: Reach montage from Just Mad, put together by himself, entitled, 'Here We Go Again.' The song is really laid back and fun, and the editing is really simple. The gameplay is by far the best part of this montage though, showcasing a surprising amount of overkills with a pretty sweet sniper killtrocity in the latter half of the video. Enjoy!"

YouTube - Here We Go Again - A Halo: Reach Montage

Halo: Reach 9/28/2010 9:39 AM PDT permalink

Halo Reach Finale

A thousand points of light.

The messaging cooked into this rewind borders on Spoiler Country, but if you want to see the vibrant aftermath one of Xbox's Halo: Reach campaigns, hit play on the video below.

YouTube - Halo Reach Finale

Halo: Reach 9/28/2010 9:25 AM PDT permalink

Domino's HBO Giveaway - Round 10

Free Soundtrack!

Domino is a generous guy with a luxurious head of thick and lustrous hair. He's giving away a Halo: Reach Original Soundtrack, too. Hit the link below to put your name in the hat.

Domino's HBO Giveaways - Registration (Round 10)

Community 9/28/2010 9:15 AM PDT permalink

Forklifts Never Die...

AxJARxOFxDIRT writes:

...they're just missing in action.


"Searching through the rendered films, you will find many amazing feats (and those other clips that people thought would be cool to render but serve no actual purpose). Enjoy one of the few Forklift kills!" - Forklifts Never Die!

Halo: Reach 9/28/2010 9:02 AM PDT permalink

Tag and Release - Grunt

Satisfy your thirst for screenshots.

Today's Tag and Release requires not one, but two keywords to get the job done. No problem, using the Halo: Reach File Search is a breeze. Check out the sweet Grunty carnage we found.

Tag: Grunt; Grunts

You killed Flipyap!

It's no nipple, but it'll have to do.


It's your birthday, get busy.

It's made of light!

That ain't Kryptonite, Superman.

Remember Reach

Still not satiated? Not a worry in the world. Our File Search is fully operational. Hit the link below to search out your favorite community files and if you want to include your own in the collection, simply use the in game File Browser.

Halo: Reach File Search

Halo: Reach 9/27/2010 10:50 AM PDT permalink

Happy 3, Halo 3.

DeeJ writes:

Fight = Finished.

Looks like we missed Halo 3's birthday over the weekend. Sorry, girl! TTL picked up the slack and delivered like the best gift ever. Thanks, TTL!

"On the third anniversary of the release of Halo 3, the TTL Gunslingers look back with gratitude for an amazing experience."

Halo 3 9/27/2010 9:22 AM PDT permalink

'A New Era' - Halo: Reach Montage

It's already over.

What's Monday morning without a good old fashioned montage?

YouTube - A New Era - A Halo: Reach Montage

Halo: Reach 9/27/2010 9:17 AM PDT permalink

Halo: Reach Soundtrack Review

G4 puts Marty's latest through the paces.

Read the review, experience the soundtrack.

Halo: Reach Soundtrack Review

Halo: Reach 9/27/2010 9:08 AM PDT permalink

Halo: Reach Mythbusters - Episode Two

BjG93 writes:

Myths, not Miffs.

Want to be in an episode? Stroll onto our website at, and become quickly engrossed - or grossed out - by our awesome community. There's also some pretty cool contests happening too!

YouTube - Halo Reach Mythbusters: Episode Two

Halo: Reach 9/27/2010 9:07 AM PDT permalink

Teabag Prevention Does Tips on Jetpacks!

jake_108 writes:

Time flies.

Looking to bone up on your aerial technique? Pack some heat and take to the skies!

Halo: Reach: How to Use Jetpacks

Halo: Reach 9/27/2010 9:05 AM PDT permalink

Clantac Summer's End Doubles Tourney

ESI IneptTrigger writes:

Grab a Battle Bro and get ready to rumble. is hosting a Halo Reach tournament alongside with our Halo Reach Fallen Heroes Tourney. Both are Free entry with prizes and bragging rights.

Halo Reach Doubles Tourney:
See for details!

Halo Reach Fallen Heroes Tourney:
This tournament is a forum run tournament. You do not have to have a ladder account to participate. This is purely for active forum users and members.

Score is kept by gamers collecting fallen hero metals with their opponents name on the metal. The goal is to collect as many metals from other players as possible. The player with the highest metal count at the end of the tourney wins.

Think you have what it takes to Reach the top? Come to to show us what you got!

Here's's First Halo Reach Clan Match to start the new Fall 2010 Season off!

Community 9/27/2010 9:01 AM PDT permalink

Halo: Reach Map Tracker

drunken xorth writes:

Keep tabs.

Halotracker has compiled a large list of map remakes recreated with Halo: Reach's Forge. Hit the link below to queue them up for download.

"We have included maps from Halo CE, Halo 2, and Halo 3, completely redone in Reach Forge mode. These are all community created maps that were posted on  I'd like to thank Easy Bake 88 (Jennie) for digging all of these up for us."

Halotracker Community Files

Community 9/27/2010 8:58 AM PDT permalink

Bungie Weekly Update: 09/24/10

We're just getting warmed up.

Read Full Top Story

Bungie Weekly UpdateHalo: Reach 9/24/2010 2:50 PM PDT

Halo: Reach Armor Lock In Real Life

Toilet times are the worst.

Kotaku picks up on one man's exploration of what it might be like to rock Armor Lock in real life.

Halo: Reach Armor Lock Not Quite As Useful In Real Life

CommunityHalo: Reach 9/24/2010 9:24 AM PDT permalink