HBO, or Halo.Bungie.org, is probably the hardest of the Halo
hardcore. Fortunately for us (we thought), they are all hardcore about
terminals, fiction and zany gametypes. Frank said “beating the old men of HBO
would be effortless.” DURR DURR DURR
HBO
Guy who runs giant Internet hosting technology and is therefore HOST of these
games – Louis Wu
Judas Iscariot – KP
Random Ringer – Konrad
Miguel – Free2BMe
Bungie & Friends
Objective Whore – Frankie
Sick and dying – ThugLarz
On Suicide Watch – Lukems
BANNED – Shishka
First, the caveats: Beating Bungie and Friends this week is
the equivalent of beating up a wounded old lady as she tries to pull herself
across the road. Frankie’s wrist is still in a cast and Lars is out sick, in
fact, you’ll see while inevitably watching the films, pointing, laughing and
snickering, that we accommodated Frank’s injury by having him hold the ball in
Game 1 (it's actually game 2 as dictated by the Humpday text, relax kids, mistakes happen!) of this week’s Humpday Challenge.
Second, you can watch all of this week’s Humpday Challenge
in Bungie Favorites available on both Bungie.net and in game.
Third, the beatdowns.
Game 1
Team Slayer, Construct
Tone of Game: Frantic
Game 1 of the Humpday Challenge had the 8 of us venturing
off to Construct for a round of Team Slayer. Aside from some excellent issues I
had with the map and jumping off of it, this game was a rigid and taut battle
of expert forces (read: a grimy, slippery mess). I am pretty sure I muttered a
few times about missile pods and flame throwers and some of those mutterings
were probably littered with expletives.
We rode Shishka like a pony to victory, though.
Final Score: 50-47
Game 2
Team Oddball, Epitaph
Tone of Game: Fortuitous
KP, formerly of Bungie Studios and now of Xbox.com and supported by a harem of
female superfans, is apparently someone with a soul purchasable for the low,
low cost of 30 pieces of silver suggested this map and gametype for one reason
and one reason alone. Was it because he likes Epitaph? No, he probably does –
but he selected it because of a single corner of the map that is insanely
defensible with the ball and there’s only one way in. It’s like the Death Star
and the only way was through a trench.
Unfortunately for KP, Frankie, one-armed tactician that he
is, already knew what was up. We stayed in one spot, we camped and we
dominated. Enjoy the single most boring film in the history of Halo 3 in Bungie
Favorites.
Final Score: 100-1
Game 3
Team King, Guardian
Tone of Game: Newb-friendly
It is written so here, so it will be done henceforth. If you
want to play Bungie in Team King of the Hill, we welcome the challenge, but you
will NOT be starting with grenades and respawn timers will be set to 10 seconds
so that there is a modicum of skill involved. Spawning and spamming grenades a
gametype that measures skill does not make. And that’s what the Humpdays are
about, measuring skill. THEY ARE NOT ABOUT FUN. In fact, I think I’m going to
make BRs and ARs as the starting weapons going forward.
In short, we lost.
Final Score: 150-96
After those three Humpday games were over, we granted a
friendly rematch to the HBO folks and Iscariot on Construct. Lars was coughing
spittle into a can for the first half of the game, Frank was playing one-handed
and Shishka, well, he just has no excuse. We lost the exhibition match 50-36.
Exhibitions, like college, are for experimentation!
