Man, Frank and I are terrible at Halo 3. I feel like an MLB player after the All-Star break falling into some terrible slump, and rapidly heading for the bench. Just like the MLB, though, the games have to get played and there are no rain delays online, so this first week’s Humpday Challenge pits us against what Ske7ch lovingly referred to as “The Chumps” on the Internet. Of course, the real Chumps in all of this being us for not setting up a proper Custom-game based Humpday, but we’re trying to give folks some time to uncover secretz and make their Spartans or Elites look pretty before we put our boots against throats.
Frankie, Jon Cable, Lars Bakken, myself and dearly departed Shishka hopped into Social Slayer for a quick trilogy of games where we got kicked around, beat up on and generally made to feel like rabbit pellets. Somehow though, good prevailed. Read: Shishka carried Frank and I’s slumping sad, selves.
Game 1: Team Slayer, Isolation, Social Slayer Playlist
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At the mercy of the matchmaking Gods, we were plunked down in the Jekyll and Hyde map, Isolation. Which side is Jekyll and which side is Hyde ultimately depends on, what side your team is on and if you have good weapons or better weapons. Common strategy is to stay near the Forerunner structure up top, equipped with Battle Rifles, maybe grab the long rifle and the needler and control the top.
If you watch the video from our match, our strategy was pathetic chaos, desperation and somehow, ultimate victory.
Score: 50-42
Game 2: Team Slayer, Last Resort, Social Slayer Playlist
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Before this match began, we were treated to the sounds of a girl, berating her boyfriend for the previous round. It was little more than a lovers’ quarrel, but I Shottygurl I exorcised swift justice all over our faces. Thankfully, Shishka and Cable carried Frank and I on their mighty shoulders, as if this Humpday was a team of Frank and a steadily declining me, we’d be completely screwed.

Score: 50-46
Game 3: Team Slayer, Narrows, Social Slayer Playlist
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This game is named ‘close call’ even though other games we’re actually closer. If you watch Lars carefully you’ll see some nice betrayals, both by him and against him. All of my games and poor performances run together, so I can’t quite remember if this is the game where I betray the crap out of Lars near the light bridge with the Rocket Launcher.
A note about the way Bungie betrays though, we always seem to betray guys who are under fire from the enemy, so instead of getting a betrayal penalty and a longer respawn, we respawn at the same time and the enemy gets credit for the kill. That “strategy” works about as well as our “control the top” zergling rush of Isolation, did.

Score: 50-45