The online team tells me that they'll be performing routine maintenance around midnight tonight (PDT). It's expected that Bungie.net functionality, including stats, will be marginally impacted. While we don't expect any in game mischief, if you run into some, it's likely that some unanticipated thing exploded unanticipatedly, and that we'll be furious scrambling to resolve it by the time the sun comes up.
If this is the last time we ever speak, we want you to know that we've always loved you, and that yes, it was us who left the seat up the night you fell in. We're sorry.