This week we intended to have a match against Will Clan 4 Food , but unfortunately last night most of our developers were busy burning the midnight oil in the studios or actually having lives somewhere like jerks. Therefore, we’ve put that Humpday off for a little bit and in order to compensate we decided to have a Halo 3 Humpday.
You WILL NOT find new Halo 3 material in this write-up, it’s just for fun. If you are let down to find no new Halo 3 information in this write-up, you’ll have only yourself to blame.
Six separate Bunglers faced off in these duels on three different maps. Joe Staten took on Frank O’Connor, Bentllama battled New0001 and Ninja 0n Fire faced KP. The map names are still subject to change and therefore have not been included.
STATEN VS. O’CONNOR
Game 1: Slayer
CENSORED, normal weapons
Game Duration: Forevers
General Tone of Game: Epic
This took place on a long, medium-sized map which seems at first a bit too large for a head to head game but the nature of the map leads to an interesting duel nonetheless. There wasn’t a lot of sneaking going on here, both were running right out into the open and just unloading on the other with everything they had.
Occasionally, Joe would pick up a rocket launcher, but each time he busted it out, Frankie was quick to take him down with whatever weapon he had, though mostly the assault rifle coupled with a grenade and/or a melee. Frankie led 24 - 15 for about 3 minutes before they finally found each other. Joe was yelling in his best grunt voice, “I’m a cowardly fool!” and sneaking around to avoid giving Frankie the last kill.
Finally, in the most absurdly dramatic final kill ever, the two took opposing gravity lifts which propelled them past each other in mid-air. They fired a few rounds and lowered each others’ shields but didn’t do significant damage. They then got back onto the lifts and vaulted at each other again, this time both forgoing their Assault Rifles for the plasma grenade and BOTH hitting their mark by sticking the others’ face. Coolest final kill ever.
25 to 16. Frankie wins.
BENTLLAMA VS. NEW0001
Game 2: Slayer
CENSORED, normal weapons
Game Duration: 7:77
General Tone of Game: Griefed
Animator vs. Designer, or more to the heart of the matter: Griefer vs. Serious Player. When we want to test maps for jerk-proofing, we call in Bentllama. Alternatively, New0001 is one of the better Halo 3 players in the office; he’s the kind of guy we call upon when we’re testing balance issues. So he was liking the symmetrical nature of the map, so all things being equal he should have the best chance to win.
But things are never as expected when you’re facing Bentllama. He employs his own brand of psychological warfare, which takes its toll against a serious player over time. New0001 started off the game doing quite well, taking nearly a ten point lead. At that point, Bentllama simply became bored with being shot in the face so he started having a little bit of fun with the debug menu.
He found a small room and then executed a command that drops all objects. If you’ve ever used an all weapons cheat, this is basically that. It drops all the weapons in a circle around you, as well as some objective items. So he spent some time tooling about the map with the flag in a head to head slayer game. As if that weren’t enough, he then enabled “jetpack” (one of the dev tools we use to explore environments and NOT a feature from Halo 3) and started to fly around the map, still with the flag. After repeated fly-bys from Bentllama, New0001 eventually threw his controller down in a fit of rage, screamed a string of expletives and stormed off.
New0001 forfeits. Bentllama wins.
NINJA 0N FIRE VS. KP
Game 3: Slayer
CENSORED, normal weapons
Game Duration: 3:43
General Flavor of Game: Graaaaaaape
Ninja and I tried out a smaller, asymmetrical map that’s a lot of fun. Ninja’s been really busy lately so he hasn’t been in as many multiplayer tests as I have and it showed. You guys might remember Frankie talking about how Bungie brought in 45 year old mothers who’ve never touched video games all their life to conduct some research for Halo 2. After this game, Harold decided we could save some money this time around and just use Ninja.
I had my pick of whichever weapon I wanted, so I ran around with a great long-range weapon (you’ll never guess what we call it!) and a devastating medium-range weapon. Ninja ran around like a remote-controlled car operated by a blind, retarded monkey: running into walls, staring at the ground and jumping for no apparent reason.
Ultimately, I came to terms with killing the short-bus-riding monkey and finished the game in decisive fashion.
25 to 7. KP wins.
Sorry to the guys over at Will Clan 4 Food ,we'll get back to you soon. Thanks to the partcipants of this Humpdayand to Ninja for not stabbing me in the parking lot tonight. Maybe.Please?