Let’s be honest with one another. Shall we? We could write an amusing opening to this article to create the right mood, but you would just scroll right past that to see if your question got answered this week. Are we right? Instead of bending metaphors and arranging whimsical collisions of prose, how about if we just introduce you to the panel that waded into the deep waters of madness that washed ashore when we invited you to write us letters?
, Associate Artist
, Support Engineer
, Staff Designer
, User Research Lead
, Senior Cinematic Designer
, Design Lead
, Associate Producer
Put on your waders, boys! Let’s open the Sack.
I got my fingers crossed, on a shooting star....
I know what you are thinking. That cryptic musing doesn’t seem to be in response to a question. I thought the same thing when I read it, but I couldn’t let it go to waste. Moving right along...
defnop552 What's the first thing that comes to mind when you see this image?
That's a pelvis.
Giant Mantra Ray-Bat-Beetle.
“Man I wish I had more flechette ammo…”
The Fallen that my Barbarian crushes like insects.
That's a facehugger from Alien.
It's [something that would get DeeJ fired if he let it slip].
Don’t mind our User Researcher, everyone. He just likes to be the one administering the tests.
I ColdEmbrace I What does your electric bill look like? Does your studio use alternate energy methods like solar energy?
We have a theoretical reactor in the bowels of our compound that is fueled by empty soda cans and nerd rage. It’s highly unstable. At least once a month, we have to eject the core into Lake Washington. Don’t tell the EPA. They are still trying to find out why all of the local fish are crawling ashore with night vision and a hunger for human connective tissue.
MightyMarcher01 What does Bungie HQ smell like?
Honestly? It smells like electricity... except for the fleeting moments when someone wearing cologne/perfume/cigarette smoke/indigestion vapors walks by.
Depends on crunch dinner, curry and fried chicken being the most distinctive.
It smells exactly like Mezhgorye.
Helveck Is there any way we could be graced with a vague – yet not ridiculously enigmatically vague – idea about how much longer we'll be sitting in the dark? I haven't showered or changed my clothes since you guys turned off the lights, and I'm not exactly sure what I've been eating off the floor.
First of all, never eat unknown entities that you find on the floor. The world is full of mutated fish that can crawl – not that we know anything
Second of all, when we said, “See you in 2013
,” we meant just that. Don’t go running off, though, we’ll have some fun, non-megaton-type stuff between now and then to keep you warm in the dark.
Lobster Fish 2 Is there something in store this year for us on Bungie Day?
But of course! The advent on which we celebrate our Community carries the same weight around here as a national holiday. This year may not be a hallmark anniversary, and Bungie Day has never been graced with a game reveal, but community greatness must still be recognized. Loyalty cannot go unrewarded.
CTN 0452 9 If you could only use one word to describe life at Bungie, what would it be?
CoRaMo If you could speak with the voice of anyone in the world, whose would you choose?
John “Halcylon” Stvan has decided that he has an amazing Morgan Freeman impression. For the past two weeks, he has been beating me over the head with it. If you cross his path on Xbox LIVE, be sure to ask him to give you a riff. I am sure he will be more than happy to oblige.
WestCoastRonin What happens at Bungie when you walk away from your desk and leave your desktop unlocked?
We were informed after this hijacking that Official Bungie Policy is to never molest the workstation of a coworker.
Kvaener What's your favorite Manga?
Lone Wolf and Cub.
Death Note. I'll confess to reading Naruto too.
dmg04 Why do you complain so much about Spartan Lasers?
I got this one, Panel. This question is in reference to a game that I played with Mr. 04 just the other night. I am being trolled here. Stand back, now.
: I, DeeJ BNG, veteran Warthog Pilot of sound mind and controller-wielding fists, am speaking for myself alone. This is not an official statement from Bungie. Spartan Lasers are the very worst thing about Halo. They were a mistake before they were ever imagined. The main purpose of a Spartan Laser is to enable cowards to destroy Warthogs from afar. Those very same cowards are supposed to be running around with a lesser weapon, trying to get splattered. Whoever conceived that implement of misery hates me, and I hate him. Who was that, in fact? Now that I am here, I would like to have a word with that bastard…
The Spartan Laser is fine. The real mistake was ever allowing vehicles to be destroyed… From a purely multiplayer perspective, the Warthog was much cooler when it was a mobile objective/weapons platform that both sides were fighting over. Also, we should have made you lock your target first.
It was a replacement for the lock-on rocket launcher in Halo 2, which had previously rendered vehicles obsolete. The laser at least gave you some forewarning and required some aiming. Though, players got pretty good at pre-charging it. I tend to agree with Sage. Indestructible vehicles (that transfer damage to the drivers) may make less fictional sense, but played better.
Geegs30 Do any of your coworkers have a skill that you are jealous of?
Yeah, a couple hundred of them. I'm jealous of all the Artists, Musicians, and Programmers.
I think we have some pretty good drummers in the studio. Drums are rad.
Basically every one of the artists. Especially the concept artists.
Xd00999 What does Bungie think of Prometheus, if they have seen it?
We saw it. In fact, we all saw it together, holding hands. Look at us. Aren’t we adorable? This was before the movie started, so don’t worry about all the smartphones depicted below.
Papa Bungie shut down an entire auditorium so that we could watch it as a team. He’s a nice man. As for the flick? It garnered the usual fierce debate that rages between us on any topic that includes awesome spaceships and people who take their helmets off way too soon. Some of us were Pro-metheus. Some of us were Anti-metheus. You would have to ask us one at a time. I dug most of it.
Jujubes What's your favorite space movie?
Space Hunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone.
Hmm, probably have to go with 2001.
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kaaaaaaaaahhhhhnnnnn!
sacktapped I just got engaged to my womans. What theme should we make the wedding?
Womans? Did you mean for that to be plural? It doesn’t really matter. The truth is all the same: The theme for your wedding, no matter how many people you are marrying, should be whatever the woman(s) want(s). Trust me on this. You should prepare to listen and nod a lot. Always have an opinion, but be willing to abandon it at the first sign of resistance. If she says that she wants a Master Chief cake, you have yourself a winner. It would be foolish to suggest this idea on your own and suspect that it will be met with anything other than a cold, hard stare.
Oh, and congratulations! Be sure to tell the people on your friend’s list that they will be seeing less of you. It’s just the way of things, man.
snipe champpppp Why was E3 so terrible this year?
Because you are a bitter young man who is already poisoned with rage. When are you going to learn that Bungie doesn’t crave sour bait like that? We prefer questions that let us be lovers, not fighters.
Cpl Crosseyes What were some of the Bungie guys favorite parts of this year's E3?
Much better. Thank you. Panel?
Resident Evil 6!
Hearing that it might not be in LA next year.
Shootmania and Halo 4 look pretty awesome.
There are a lot of new games I want to try, but I'm most excited for Hitman 5 and FarCry 3.
DarkONI What kind of posters you have hanging around?
You would have to read the forum to answer this. It really varies. Some posters that hang around on Bungie.net are sarcastic. Some posters are sincerely interested in the free exchange of ideas and feelings. Other posters are just angry - about everything. But they rarely last very long.
JScientia13 What happened to the ninjas I sent to find out what you are working on? They never came back...
You fool! That was you? One cannot truly motivate Ninjas with money. A cash bribe might get them off the couch, but it will never win their loyalty. We offered your Ninjas a chance to swing our Banhammer
. By their very nature, they simply cannot resist a chance to deal out justice to evildoers. Better luck next time. Even if you send proper mercenaries to capture our secrets, we will distract them with an invitation to playtest our next game. Bungie will always be one step ahead of you.
ALI217 How much fan mail do you guys get since you are dark and when was the last time you received a piece?
Every week, one of the Bungie Princesses drops at least one new piece of fan mail on my desk. It is not addressed to me, mind you. I am just the lucky guy who gets to tear into them. Most of what you can see is the result of some long-forgotten homework assignment in a unit on business writing. Every once in a while, I scan a pearl of joy and share it with the team. Bungie.net is still your best means of getting our attention. This Mail Sack is the one that takes first priority.
T1B3R7uMB0YXVI What position in Bungie seems the most fun and relaxing?
The word “position” was assigned dueling treatments by our Panel. So that you don’t get lost in the shifting meanings, let’s herd them into groups.
position (noun): a physical pose
Getting a free 15 minute massage.
Lounging in a beanbag chair with the sun setting over Bellevue.
position (noun): a job title or role
I'm sure it's Community or Marketing. Those guys always seem so chipper and happy.
I don't know of any relaxing positions here, but DeeJ looks like he is having the most fun.
CheckedBRUTES Is AgdTinMan still working for Bungie?
Thanks to the miracle of The Internet, you can ask him yourself
as often as you like.
SPRTN One One 7 If Jason Jones and Marty O'Donnell were stuck in the ocean surrounded by sharks, who would you save?
The Sharks. You are hardly describing a fair fight. The lack of proper pizza in this town keeps Marty in a perpetual state of ravenousness, and shark meat has been described as tasty.
Tookurdignity Since everybody always asks what Bungie is working on, I figured I'd ask the opposite: "What is Bungie NOT working on?”
Pretty much everything you saw at E3 this year.
Giant Laser Space Frisbees.
We are definitely not working on the microwave emulator, after an unfortunate incident that project has been shelved indefinitely.
Ping Pong, sadly. But hopefully that will change. Soon.
Oh, Scott. You only have two shoulders
, you know.
xNiGhThAwKx19 Will you ever answer my questions?
Maybe next week. This week, we found them to be self-serving, and rather flat from a conversational perspective. Next week, you will have another chance to put Bungie to the question. You all will. Until then, we want you to know how much we enjoy these chats.