"Geezers" is a term usually reserved for members of society’s ancients, they are wisdom-infused relics from simpler times. Their joints have calcified, their brains injected with knowledge through experience. Apparently, here at Bungie, our Humpday team is comprised of Geezers, not because we’ve been injected with wisdom, or our joints have hardened with age – but rather, because the folks we were playing in this week’s Humpday – the Geezer Gamers – were about the same age as us.
The Youth of a Nation
New0001 – Joe Tung
Thug Larz – Lars Bakken
Frankie – Duh
TJ Scoot – Luke
Colostomy Bag Not Required (yet)
Game 1: Team Slayer, Guardian
Tone of Game: Stormy
This will sound familiar.
Us: “So guys, what do you want to play first?”
Them: “King of the Hill? Eh, whatever, let’s do Team Slayer on Guardian.”
This, dear readers is a testament to the simple power of suggestion. In this scenario, we had Team Slayer on Guardian selected and displayed when the Geezers joined our lobby. See how strong an ally suggestion can be? The trap has been sprung! The battle would be among the treetops.
For the most part, the Geezer Gamers held Yellow room and we repeatedly crashed into them like the refrain from a crappy song you listened to when "you were young." With no thanks to Frankie and I, and heaps of gratitude and extra candy to New0001 and Thug Larz we kicked their wheelchairs down to the forest floor. It’s a long fall. Tung has been under the weather so he wasn't nearly as loud as I'd hoped he'd be.
Final Score: 50-39 Bungie
Watch the Film here
Game 2: Multiflag CTF, The Pit
Tone of Game: Justice Tornadoes
Second game means that it's our turn to pick, I was thinking something fresh that I rarely play like Team Slayer on Construct. It’s a classique nouveau, Tung even says “Construct is the new Hang ‘Em High.” Normally, I agree with Joseph, but the words that came out of his mouth when he picked the map and gametype we’d be playing for Game 2 were not so easy to agree with.
“Multiflag CTF on The Pit.”
Lars, Joe, Frank and I have never played this mode together. It requires strategy, teamwork, planning, thoughtful execution and requires far more attention than my caveman-brain's preferred gametype of “Kill the guys who wear different colors from me.”
When you see the film, follow Frankie at the match’s outset, the part where he acquires the Rocket Launcher, valiantly rushes to the Old Folks' Home alone, dies and donates the Rocket Launcher to some tax deductible not-for-profit hellbent on shaming us.
The Geezers put up a quick flag cap and then we decided use some strategy. The extent of our strategy? Defense wins championships.
Final Score: 3-1 Bungie
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Game 3: Team Slayer, Construct
Tone of Game: Heatwave
The Geezers used the now commonplace “line change strategy,” swapping in a new foursome for each game, thereby maximizing the amount of players who got to participate in the Challenge, but in this unimportant third game, everyone joined in and played.
Surrounded by a sea of Recon helmets, the Geezers’ Iscariot Twins put up gaudy numbers while Lars, Frankie and I slipped into quiet cruise control. In retrospect we should’ve turned the Slayer count up to 100 for six on six action, but what’s done is done.
Final Score: 50-47
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