The Halo Humpday Challenge
Each Wednesday, we here at Bungie pick a fight with another group of Halo 2 players, from all walks of life. This week, it was Tips & Tricks Magazine.
The veritable bible of codes, maps, cheats, exploits, hacks, tips and last but not least, tricks, is based in Beverly Hills. Since all they do is come up with cheats and play tips, we were a wee bit nervous. In fact, a warm up game we played while waiting for everyone to show up ended badly for us, losing a quick Team Slayer on Lockout by 50-46. We were a little worried about how the real games were about to play out.
But before we get to that, there's a fable to tell.
The Curious Tale of Iqbal and Mortimer
Once upon a time, in a faraway land to the east, lived a wise king who had two sons. These princes, Mortimer and Iqbal, ruled over domains granted to them by their father, in the farthest corners of the land. One day the ancient king summoned them to his palace, declaring that the first son who arrived to pay tribute to him, would himself become king.
Now Iqbal and Mortimer each held domain over a large region of the kingdom, but very far to the south, across mountains and deserts and raging rivers. To reach their father they must each make a journey fraught with peril, precipice and danger.
Each son was wise in his own way, but each very different from the other. Mortimer was a very serious man and contemplative about the weight of life's mysteries. Iqbal was brash and virile and loved to run and dance and cavort.
Mortimer decided that the best way to travel to his father's palace would be to make the journey alone, taking only a packhorse, a stout walking stick and a flask of water to quench his thirst.
Iqbal thought for a moment and decided that the best way to travel was to ride the backs of an enormous team of trained monkeys of many kinds and color. There were Chimpanzees and Barbary Apes and Baboons and Howler Monkeys and Silverbacks and Spider Monkeys and curious Capuchins. Many they were and highly trained. They ran in perfect formation with glistening mane and a chattering whooping sound like none ever heard before!
Mortimer began his journey immediately, leaving his Eastern Prince's palace behind and taking the stony trail to the north as a dark rain began to fall. Far to the West, Iqbal mounted a saddle and reins to the lead gorilla and stood atop its muscular back. With a cry of "Onward!" he spurred the monkeys to speed and like a roaring wave they teemed and flowed across the land, bathed in sunshine with Iqbal at the crest, laughing with joy!
Even in the first hour of his journey, Mortimer encountered hail and storm and a mighty dragon, but he persevered. His feet became broken and blistered and his face red and burned from hail and wind and desert heat. The days stretched into nights as he first burned and then froze, but he persevered knowing that he endured this for the love of his father and the land.
Iqbal on the other hand, rode the team of monkeys across the entire kingdom in a single afternoon, stopping only once for a glass of juice and a sandwich. He arrived at 5pm and his father made him king on the spot. Mortimer arrived eight days later, but passed away soon after from complications arising from pneumonia.
What is the moral of this story? None but this: It is ALWAYS better to ride with a crack team of monkeys. And last night, that team of monkeys was Bungie Studios.
The Triumphant Return of Bungie
– CJ Cowan – On like Donkey Kong
– Paul Bertone – In like Flynn
– Chad Armstrong – AKA
Lil' Lord British
– Andrew Davis – All Up Ons
– Joseph Staten – In it to win it
– Frank O'Connor – Rockin' like Dokken
The Tips & Tricks Hicks
- Jimmy Hernandez - Halo 2 Insider Monthly Column
- Jason Wilson - Senior Editor
- Raphael Minchella - Contributor
- Mike Parker - Freelance Grunt
- Jabari Bain - Newbie Freelance Grunt
Colossus, Default Weapons
General Tone of Game :
After getting something of a beating in a practice game just prior, we weren't feeling terribly confident about this, and to be honest, Colossus is one of those maps where a shift in momentum for one team can mean a real beating. Luckily for us, things stayed pretty even. We moved and stayed in a group to counter their tight knit formation and did our best to avoid falling into the usual traps.
Tips & Tricks cleverly held the Covenant sniper rifle for much of the game, and while we battled continually for it, it was seldom used, thanks in part to our constant proximity. Most of the battles were fought above the grav lift, and only respawns kept us refreshed with ammo and the occasional overshield. All in all a closely fought match, with the coup de grace being a pistol whipping delivered to a harried Trickster trapped in a narrow corridor. Close game, and we were sweating already.
50-43 Bungie wins.
Ivory Tower , Single Bomb Fast
General Tone of Game :
Yours truly backed out to let Joe Staten make his triumphant return to the Bungie Humpday Challenge and our director of cinematics was on his usual, snipey best behavior. This game was in fact pretty even as the score shows, but you should check out the game stats to see how close it really was. As a matter of fact, it came down to a matter of seconds - who would make the third bomb fastest? Well, statistically Shishka, since he in fact scored all our bombs (thanks to generous support).
The last one was a rush, agdTinman sniping futilely, but distractingly from above, while Shishka charged and squatted. Just trying to stay out of sight, you know?
3-2. Bungie wins.
Headlong, Single Flag
General Tone of Game:
Oh dear. The Tips & Tricks guys admit they don't know Headlong very well (which begs the question: Why pick it?) and it really showed. This was kind of a rout. Bungie basically ran around grabbing flags like it was erm, Flag Day. The less said about this match the better, and I'm sure the Tips & Tricks guys want to forget it, since the other games were won by razor thin margins.
Anyway, they kinda ruled. We'd happily play them again.
3 Flags to 0. Bungie wins...
Some "real" people. Maybe a clan or a club.We will NOT play STK because they'll murderize us. And we won't play Terror Squad 14 because we encourage people to go out and have friends and real lives.