Bungie Weekly Update: 03/04/2011
Posted by urk at 3/4/2011 2:08 PM PST
Though I have this space permanently reserved for cheap, easy, and mostly failed attempts at humor (and far less frequently, healthy doses of rich and creamy project news), today I’m kicking us off with something serious. Again.

Yeah, I know. “Boo this man.” But in the wake of the launch (and fall) of Halo: Reach and the more recent DLC rumblings out of our friends in Redmond, some players have begun to suspect that Bungie’s time with the Halo franchise has now officially come to a close.

It hasn't.

But although those players are jumping to conclusions, they are not landing too far from the mark. We are now beginning to shift gears into what could potentially be an awkward transitional period for all parties involved – kinda like that time you and Dad had The Talk™. So let’s start clearing some stuff up.

Stuff Bungie is Not Doing

We are not building map packs for Halo: Reach and we’re not working on any engine modifications, with code pressed tightly to metal.

Stuff Bungie is Doing

We’re still here supporting Halo: Reach until Microsoft takes the reins. As phases of the transition (which is already underway) unfold we’ll continue to work with Microsoft and 343 Industries to ensure the handoff requires as little brainpower from you as possible, and as we nail down significant dates we’ll hammer home your expectations in kind. Rest assured all sides are working diligently to make sure the transition experience is as awesome as possible.

Questions about the Defiant Map Pack have already been delivered to Top Men at Certain Affinity with hopes that they will be returned with answers that satiate your craving for the in-depth insider information you’ve become accustomed to. We also hear that there are some additional assets being prepared to give you a behind the scenes peak at the production and design of the three new spaces, but since we’re not beneath that particular circus tent I’m not going to speak out of turn and drop any dates or times for you. You’ll have to make do, as per usual, with “soon.”

You can also expect us to continue infusing Halo: Reach’s online game with plentiful playlist additions and upgrades, the best community-crafted maps we can get our hands on, and some outstanding community contests and events that we’ll start talking more about in the weeks and months ahead. If you’ve been riding the Bungie ride for a good number of years, you already know the drill. The days and months ahead hold a ton of surprises, so stick around – we don’t plan on going out with a whimper.

TL;DR Version

  • We love you
  • We’re still supporting Halo: Reach
  • We’re working with 343 Industries to make the eventual support transition as seamless as possible
  • There are good times ahead for our community

The Slide Heard Round the World

Tired of pretending that he’s not a -blam!-in’ rock star from Mars, David Aldridge inhaled a huge hit of David Aldridge at GDC yesterday. Subsequently, his face melted off and children wept over his exploded body. After the childish tears, gelatinous gibs, and acrid smoke cleared, an industrious journalist noticed the final slide from David’s GDC deck which apparently proclaimed that we were hiring for a "massively…multiplayer action game." Ruh oh.

Now, in rehearsal Aldridge was convinced that everybody got the joke. It was all in the delivery, he assured us, and he was certain it was clear that he was playfully riffing off of the recent rumors. Unfortunately, most people can’t figure David out – they can’t process him. And we don’t expect them to. You can’t process David Aldridge with a normal brain. You’d need tiger blood and Adonis DNA.





From: David Aldridge
Sent: Thursday, March 03, 2011 5:42 PM
To: Pete Parsons; Eric Osborne
Subject: Fwd: "GDC: Bungie's Next Game Is An MMO"

FYI. The tape will exonerate me, but I'm sorry anyway. :(


Apology accepted, David. See you when you get back from rehab. Hopefully we’ll have your full presentation, along with everyone else’s ready for the publications page. No promises.

Wanted: Bungie Beta Testers

The first round of Bungie Beta Tester surveys were delivered this week in two distinct batches of emails. The first was a test to ensure everything was working as intended, and that we wouldn’t end up on the same blacklist as the guy who endlessly offers to “expand my love.”

Of course, as the initial round of select few recipients began to brag about their newly acquired status on the web, everyone else took the absence of email correspondence as a barbed personal slight delivered straight to their lower solar plexus. But a mere twenty-four hours later, we expanded our love exponentially and the one thousand original recipients were joined by one hundred thousand more.

See? We do love all of our children equally.

If you’re not counted among the most recently christened, don’t worry, we’re still looking for more participants. Putting your name in our hat is quick and easy. Just hit the link below for instructions. Sign up and we’ll make it worth your while.


Nip, Tuck

The Bungie Store got some work done last week and it’d be great if you could drop by and tell the old gal how wonderful she looks. Most of the swelling has gone down and if you ask me, I think she’s a stunner. Of course, she’s still not willing to catch a flight outside the States (sorry International friends, I promise to personally shun those responsible with routine and well-deserved scowlings until the cave into our demands for equal treatment for all nations).


Happy Birthday to Us!

A month ago we coaxed you into designing our next batch of employee birthday cards. For weeks we struggled to choose but one winner. It’s been rough going, and the selection process has threatened to turn friend into foe. Ultimately, we were able to sustain a cease fire long enough to come together and narrow the selection down to a final four, but beyond this we simply cannot choose, wisely or otherwise.

So, we’re going with all four. After all variety is the spice of life, is it not?










If you recognize any of these four offerings as your own phenomenal work, we’ll be in touch to collect your mailing address in short order. In exchange for your vital personal information, we’ll send you some stuff, among which will be a stack of your cards that you can distribute to your own family and friends on their special day.

Yay!

Bungie All Stars Week 8

I am so, so sorry. What you are about to see is some of the most disturbing imagery to ever officially grace Bungie.net. While I am a trained professional, you may not be accustomed to the horrors that haunt the darkest corners of the Internet. I fear it may be best for you to stop reading here.

You have been warned.

Seriously, it's nasty.




Never sleep again.

From surrealist portrayals, to stuff straight outta Dante's Inferno, this week had a lot of submissions that were just plain grotesque.







And of course, plenty of people added a pinch of Sage to their recipes.





Ew.

More than a few linked Chickenpede with the classic arcade game from yesteryear. Only one went 8-bit.








Plenty offered portraits of the Chickenpede as something more akin to Cthulhupede.













While a handful of artisans expressed their inner demons with MS Paint.





I can taste vomit.

A few awesomely mixed Halo: Reach with hand-painted art, a couple going so far as to work in the Jet Pack for extra credit.







While some went pen and ink with varying levels of success.









Some plucked.



Some Forged.





But all made me questioned my will to live.

If you though you'd laid eyes on the most vile submissions, I regret to inform you that your assumption was all kinds of wrong.

BEHOLD, CHICKENPEDE!

































Below are my personal "favorites."




Our lawyers would like me to inform you that we were not affiliated with the arcade game Centipede in any way. This is just fan art. Please do not sue our pants off. We like our pants and until society embraces our vision of a pantsless workplace, we legally require them.






I understand if you never want to speak to me again.
I've Got a Jet Pack!

If you’ve made it this far, I applaud your dedication and cast iron stomach. Though the Jet Pack screenshots are indeed sweet, I fear they will not be sweet enough to rid your mouth of the bitter taste of Chickenpede. Still, we must go on.




Feel free to click on any of the Jet Pack screenshots to check out the high resolution version. I'll spare you the higher resolution versions of Chickenpede. I can't, in good conscience, subject you to them.

Seven stars again this week. I'll dole them out within the hour. More to come next week.

Blame Stosh

Stosh has been busy prepping Bungie.net for the release of the Defiant Map Pack. Yet, he still makes time for you. He loves you and he toils only for your entertainment.



Be good. See you next week.
Bungie Weekly Update: 06/10/2011 

Posted by urk at 6/10/2011 2:57 PM PDT

The night is always darkest...

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Bungie Weekly Update: 06/03/2011 

Posted by urk at 6/3/2011 1:50 PM PDT

It's not you, it's us.

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Bungie Weekly Update: 05/27/2011 

Posted by urk at 5/27/2011 1:19 PM PDT

We will show thee things which must be hereafter.

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Bungie Weekly Update: 05/06/2011 

Posted by urk at 5/6/2011 4:26 PM PDT

Seis de Mayo!

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Bungie Weekly Update: 04/29/2011 

Posted by urk at 4/29/2011 2:29 PM PDT

A Garden of Earthly Delights!

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