Bungie Humpday Challenge
Posted by Frankie at 3/16/2005 6:21 PM PDT

The Halo Humpday Challenge

Bungie Vs. Penny Arcade!

Amusing interweb humor destination, Penny Arcade was walking down the street the other day (as cumulative entities are wont to do) and it started boastfully extolling its own virtues and saying what an hilarious organization it was, and that no video game character would go unskewered by its rapier wit. From Pac-Man to Ms. Pac-Man, no target of its ruthless brand of stinging satire would go unburned. Even Bungie. And thusly, they challenged Bungie to a duel.

Bungie, meanwhile, was downtown at the homeless shelter moistening the cracked lips of orphans with camphor, and soothing the fevered brows of sick kittens with champagne-soaked chamois. When Bungie heard about Penny Arcade's vainglorious claims it humbly submitted that Penny Arcade seemed like a decent enough sort of website/gaming organization and that it was entitled to its claims, boasts and challenges.

However, when Bungie heard that Penny Arcade had declared itself absolutely opposed to women's suffrage, like a final slap of a wet leather glove, it was on like Donkey Kong. A lunchtime match at exactly 12pm. A high-nooner, if you will. This is how it all went down.

The Bungie Scum

  • Shishka - Lord British Extreme LiveWire Edition*
  • Frankie – Idiot - TV Size: Svelte
  • Bentllama – Nathan Walpole – Token Canuck Animator
  • Evil Ottoman – David Candland – UI Guru
  • Achronos – Tom Gioconda – Interweb Specialist

The Penny Arcadians

  • Khoo - President and Founder, Jar-Jar Appreciation Society
  • Zaruthustran - OMG ROFL BBQ, Spake he Thusly
  • Gabe - Molders with Genetic Phage
  • Tycho - Brah, eh?

* Note that since everyone at Bungie wanted a piece of the fructose abusing Penny-Arcadians, we cycled in a couple of other players, including Eamon McKenzie and Joseph Tung, but there were never more than four Bungie guys at any given moment, as you can see from the stats.





GAME 1: Team Slayer
Game Stats
Ivory Tower , Standard Weapons
Game Duration: 07:34
General Tone of Game : Rad




Did you know that this game lasted for seven minutes and 34 seconds, the exact length of time that the Hindenburg burned for? And did you also know that 48% of all statistics are made up on the spot? No? Well know this. Bungie accepted a match on Ivory Tower (an historical weak spot) and turned it into a triumph. An ever escalating atrocity of corpse-humping carnage.

Penny Arcade screamed as we spewed round after round of humiliating lead into them. They moaned righteously that we were rocket camping rocket whores who excelled only in the art of rocketry-whoreitude. How right they were.

And when we weren't taking them out value-pack style with double-kill rocket drops, we were stabbing them in their stupid, dull eyes with twin prongs of burning angst.


Final Score: 50-24 - Bungie Wins.


GAME 2: Team Slayer
Game Stats
Ivory Tower , Standard Weapons
Game Duration: 06:59
General Tone of Game : Radder


It seemed that the Penny Arcadians had been trying to find some sort of groove in the first match. And we were pleasantly surprised to hear them suggest that we do it again. The same map, same rules, same scenario. How brave, we thought as we entered the mall-like confines of Ivory Tower, expecting a more difficult challenge. And it was. Kind of.

They did better this time, and tipped that all-important 50% of your opponents' score balance, but not by much. It was better in the way that it is better to be caught inflagrante by your mom, than to be caught stealing cat food in a supermarket.

In the end, it was a lot of screaming, splattered viscera and cursing, which we enjoy tremendously, and another victory for our brave Bungie boys.

Final Score: 50-31 - Bungie Wins.


GAME 3: Team Slayer
Game Stats
Ivory Tower , regular rules, standard weapons
Game Duration: 6:32
General Tone of Game: Sad - S + R = Rad


Hey. Wait a minute. This is the same map. The same rules. They already know they’re doomed. Why would they request this exact match again? Unless they know something we don't. It is at this exact moment that Bungie realizes it may have fallen into some well rehearsed Machiavellian scheme to make us look like boobs. If only we hadn't talked so much trash! (see above.)

It's too late for us now. Something's going on. This has ruined our victory. They're going to DO something AT us. Help!


Final Score: 50-24 - Bungie Wins.




Next Challenge: Penny Arcade wants a rematch! But in Splinter Cell! We'll see about that, but expect some international matches soon!

Top 10: Online Multiplayer Console Games 

Posted by urk at 11/3/2010 9:21 AM PDT

ScrewAttack shows us some love.

If you're not familiar with what ScrewAttack does, it's about time you got acclimated. And what better way to introduce yourself than with a video where they sing our praises? Bam!

Cover your ears if you aren't into naughty language. Thanks to HBO for pointing us in the right direction.

Tags: Halo 2 (Xbox)

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Backwards From Dawn, Part 1 

Posted by urk at 4/20/2010 9:17 AM PDT

I Hardly Knew Thee...

Forward Unto Dawn is taking a look back at Halo 2 with a fresh perspective. Get your own eyes on at the jump below. Thanks to HBO for the heads up (and the bandwidth).

I Hardly Knew Thee...

Tags: Halo 2 (Xbox)

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One Final Effort 

Posted by urk at 4/16/2010 1:51 PM PDT

There are those who said this day would never come...

Read Full Top Story

Tags: Halo 2 (Xbox)

   

SUDDEN DEATH! 

Posted by urk at 4/15/2010 10:10 AM PDT

Halo 2 is still going strong!

Looks like the Xbox LIVE team has yet to flip the switch. Halo 2 is still online and operational. If you're looking to get some last minute games in, now's the time - there's no telling when it's going down!

Tags: Halo 2 (Xbox)

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Walshy's 2nd - Halo 2 Montage 

Posted by urk at 4/15/2010 9:19 AM PDT

Goodbye to you.

Killtacular.

"This is the amazing Walshy's second montage on youtube. No description needed, but I'll give one anyway. Walshy is an amazing Halo 2 player, and is on one of the best teams, Final Boss, with players like him, Ogre 1, Ogre 2, and Strongside. This montage is a very honest montage with great editing and gameplay. Many snipes, sticks, multikills, and no scopes etc. I hope you enjoy it and leave a comment for me to read!?"



YouTube - Walshy - 2nd Halo 2 Montage

Tags: Halo 2 (Xbox)

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