This week Bungie took on the fine folks of the Xbox MVP group . These are basically good people who are actively involved in the Xbox Live community through the Xbox Forum or other organizations. You may remember the last time we met, it didn't work out so well. Because they cheat. Or more specifically, their evil overlord, 'Darth' Major Nelson cheats.
The MVPs brought out their best game with a diverse selection of cheaters:
MASTAglach820- Masta GLITCH?!?! Masta BANNED!
Coola- Not cool enough to avoid the banhammer!
Thesomeone- Anonymity can't save you, teh banzord!
PMS PsycoSKitty- Using feminine wiles? lolbant!
litheon- One shot kills in SWAT? Modbant!
GODFREE- Bant, heathen!
MthdDirector- Mod director? Banz0rz!
Bungie came nonchalantly to the table this week. Frankie didn't send out an urgent last minute call to arms with words and phrases such as vendetta , chivalry and revengeance .
New001 - The Knight who begrudgingly yet overwhelmingly answers the call to arms.
Ninja 0n Fire - The Knight that gets drunk before battle, performs valiantly but then contracts a new strain of the Ninja virus. We fear it's evolving.
KP - The silent, seemingly insignificant but still prolific and handsome young hero.
Shishka - Court Jester.
Thug Larz - Pikeman, sent in to die so that the knights don't have to get their Mjolnir so dirty.
Frankie - Noble squire of New0001.
Jejor - Noble squire... of PMS PsycoSKitty. H2Owned!
Game 1: Team Slayer
Game Stats
Terminal, normal weapons
Game Duration: 12:58
General Tone of Game: Choppy
The game didn't really start until about 2 minutes in when everyone's connection began to settle down. To give you an idea of the opening minutes, New0001 and I ran to the sniper, which waited until we were about five feet away from it to spawn. Everyone stayed in the yellow for most of the game (Shishka's FurryPronTorrents, no doubt) but we were able to gain control of the courtyard and used the Wraith to cover us. Casualties were heavy on both sides and the match was incredibly tight despite the only lead change occurring at the mid-point of the game, momentarily.
Shishka whored the Wraith like a champ. Thanks to the already crappy connection combined with his "neighbor's" penchant for seeding torrents, Shishka was in the red the entire game but only managed one betrayal, miraculously. We kept him covered until about eight minutes into the game when he was finally boarded and the tank destroyed. Thanks to the sniper cover provided by New001 and the suppression of the MVPs by a ghost and a few skilled Battle Rifleman we maintained control of the courtyard until the tank spawned again. New was fed ammo by Frankie, who ran out to grab the sniper rifle and bring it back to New throughout the game, as if some sort of SUPER GENIUS [Ed.]. There were frequent skirmishes under the tracks and in the terminal amidst the plasma mortars as we tried to prevent them from taking the courtyard.
It was really close and well fought on both sides, but we were able to pull it out with a 100-92 victory. Bungie wins.
Game 2: Team Slayer
Game Stats
Lockout, SWAT
Game Duration: 3:37
General Tone of Game: Thank God he's on our team.
Sitting under the sniper tower waiting for shots to be exchanged thinking, "Wow, quiet game." Gun fire in the distance. New001 breaks the silence, "Kill Frenzy." Ridonkulous.
It was a really quick game, as SWAT games tend to go. Control of the sniper tower was a focal point, as expected, but no real strategies aside from, "Shoot them in the face" were applied. There was an inordinate amount of fighting going on in lower levels, a lot of fire was exchanged between the bottom of the liftroom area and the bottom of Blue base.
The postgame indicates a closer game than actually occurred, we were in control early and were leading comfortably the entire game, ending with a 50-45 victory. Bungie wins.
Game 3: Team Slayer
Game Stats
Ivory Tower, Frankie Special
Game Duration: 3:25
General Tone of Game: Deceptive.
One of the games in the Humpday challenge is Bungie's choice, this week we let Frankie choose the game. Frankie sets the map to Ivory Tower and we see that he changes the Battle Rifle to the starting weapon. He announces, "Hey Bungie guys, this is my standard twist." The MVPs were legitimately supicious.
The game starts and all of the Bungie guys switch to their secondary weapon. After a few seconds that all too familiar whooshing sound surrounds us as rockets take flight. The MVPs caught on after that and we no longer had the upper hand. For all New0001 was worth to us in the prior games, he had one hell of a betrayal in this one. Several of us were atop the lift when New fired a rocket at someone, killed himself and took at least 3 of us down with him. In the space that it took him to respawn I died twice.
Being the noble and stout fellows that we are, we let them take the win 50-31 and Frankie finish atop our team with 7. Xbox MVPs win.
Finally, Bungie wins a Humpday. All kidding aside, we had some great games with Xbox MVPs before, during and after the Humpday. Much thanks to them for the good times and for continuing to foster content and merriment in the Xbox Live community. We're just sorry they have such a diabolical leader!